MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 3

Gillyx

Here it is sunshine xx


Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as youve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I cant, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. Im afraid to let you see me enjoying her as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how she adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I havent taken something from you, Ive given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know youll never share my love. There is enough of that for both of you .you each have your own supply.

I love you-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

sunshine_1988

Thanks ladies. At the moment I have no one else to talk to so your words mean a lot.

Gilly that poem is so lovely!! It is exactly how I am feeling, the beginning bit, thank you for posting it I'll print it off tomorrow at work and read it when I am having a bit of a moment.

He will be three and a half when the time comes so he will definitely understand a bit more and OH thinks he will really enjoy helping out and looking after it

Thanks ladies, I do love this forum.

How is your new job Gilly?

X

Gillyx

Haven't started yet :eek:

sunshine_1988

When's the big start date? How are you feeling about it now
X

Gillyx

I still don't have a start date but itl be early Feb Id imagine. I can't wait, and I feel ok about nursery for A tbh. I think he's at an age where it's in his best interests to go and I think he'l love it.

sunshine_1988

He will love it for sure. So will you too, lots of lovely little perks to working - top of the list is eating all your own lunch and a hot drink x

*Nutella*

sunshine_1988 wrote: »

He will love it for sure. So will you too, lots of lovely little perks to working - top of the list is eating all your own lunch and a hot drink x

Followed by walking down the road at normal speed and without examining every leaf, insect and item of rubbish along the way

sunshine_1988

*Nutella* wrote: »

Followed by walking down the road at normal speed and without examining every leaf, insect and item of rubbish along the way

Haha in our case, on Friday we walked past a tramp and A said quite loudly, why is that man all dirty? :eek:

We walked off very sharpish

Gillyx

*Nutella* wrote: »

Followed by walking down the road at normal speed and without examining every leaf, insect and item of rubbish along the way

A isn't too bad for this, I think it'd drive me bonkers if he was, he's the one who runs everywhere and is forever tripping up because he's too eager, which also drives me bonkers

Taking him swimming today and then we're going to make cakes, he picked some little sugar jungle decorations at Morrisons yesteday. I'm back at slimming world, so I can't eat any

Bangton

Aw sunshine that is amazing news! I don't have 2 but I can definitely understand that feeling as I think I'd really like a second but sometimes wonder how i could love them as much as my son. He's the absolute love of my life and centre of my world. So what your feeling is totally normal but I reckon he'll be completely fine!

Are you feeling excited though? Congrats!!

(Thanks everyone for cot advice)