Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

Buffythedebtslayer

Sorry Beanie, do feel better now actually.


Sat still for a bit and should be ok now. Tea on it's way.


XXX

Buffythedebtslayer

made decision re Ex.


I have NO IDEA what his game is.


I shouldn't go back. Never even considered it before. Going to just leave it. I am already quite upset that he hasn't messaged tonight. This reaction makes me realise how fragile I am regarding him.


so protect myself is the way forward. Keep busy stay sane.


night all


Ps where is Slinky? I have "seen most of you all about but not Slinky..........


XXX

in_need_of_direction

You've already stated that some of the big issues you had still exist (family). There's no reason to believe things could go differently. I think you've reached the right conclusion.

Buffythedebtslayer

Yeah. I think as much as I love him and miss him I nothing has changed. I mean this time last year I was planning to rent my friend's flat, hadn't told a soul was going to surprise him for our next weekend away with champagne and strawberries. lol was SO happy. But the week before we were due to meet he said he didn't think we had a future. That was such a huge shock. I am very unsure about whether or not he would do that again. On the other hand I refused to talk to him or about it so was very unfinished. Oh there are no guarantees. !!!!!! it.


Today has been hard work. Felt so ill this morning. then just felt really hungry at work, got a headache, had lunch with my lovely friend (she thinks I should leave all the work up to my ex. she did point out how happy I was tho and that I was possibly running scared..;) )


Came home, slept for 3 hours. really need to tidy my room(!) but ugh still have headache... might do some work? might not.
the thing is in my head weekends stretch out before me all this time, I thought honestly that I would tidy up last night but felt so ill- definitely mild food poisoning shouldn't have eaten 4 day old pasta!!! And at work felt horrible, so this afternoon has been a bust.


And that leaves Sunday to do it all. Ok so sitting here taking hours to write this isn't doing me any good!


XXXX

Skint_but_Optimistic

Exes are exes for a reason!!!

Look after yourself first xx

No more near death experiences!!

Sun_Addict

Hope your tummy feels better soon Buffy! Nothing worse than feeling ill at the weekend - such a waste! Be wary of the ex - he hurt you before he can do it again. You're worth more than that.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Don't know what to make of the ex thing.

Glad you feel better though Xx

Shoe_Gal

Skint_but_Optimistic wrote: »

Exes are exes for a reason!!!

Look after yourself first xx

No more near death experiences!!

I second this, protect yourself :A

Buffythedebtslayer

I have been doing a lot of thinking. Shocking I know! I haven't had a goal or a proper plan for a while and life has been about surviving, getting through.


Anyhow I now have a plan!

Moneywise
1. Pay off the cc debt.
2. Save 4000 pounds as an emergency fund.
3. Move out. I can't say I want to especially want to. Have invested a lot in this house, would hate to leave Mum on her own, not convinced she has enough money and have the dogs here but I know realistically I have to do it. I won't be the sad case living with mum (even tho it doesn't feel like that!) forever.
4. Make some sort of contribution to my pension. one off payments?
5. Invest in my loans thing - completely forgotten what it is called!


Workwise


1. Finish MA
2. Work in temp world for a bit maybe one or two years?
3. Do what I can to diversify my skills!(sounds naff)
4. Look for a new career/way of working


Personal life


1. Lose weight. ooo that is a point I must weigh myself! by eating healthier foods - Edited to add - no not weighing myself! am going to go by my dress from last summer and a work skirt.

am using tips from here
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/weight-loss-guide/Pages/losing-weight-getting-started.aspx

2. Exercise regularly - dvd and yoga and dog walks.
3. Go out with my friends at least once a week.
4. Go to the doctors with my list!
5. Leave dating till after school and my MA are over.


hungry!


see you all later XX

Shoe_Gal

Sounds positive Buffy - good luck xx