Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

beanielou

Sun_Addict wrote: »

Ha ha ha ha - late thirties is old! When you get to my age you'll look back and think that is so young!! Honestly!!!!! You are young enough to turn your life around - do it before it's too late Buffy! Have a good weekend.

Agreed 100% from your mate in the north:D

beanielou

Have dipped into that book we spoke about.
We both need to exercise more often & take omega whatsit & connect with other people more.

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou wrote: »

Have dipped into that book we spoke about.
We both need to exercise more often & take omega whatsit & connect with other people more.

This is true Beanie XXX and exactly why I am trying to avoid ruminating (!) not entirely successfully!


you have no idea how much you posting means to me this afternoon XXX

in_need_of_direction

Hope last night went well. It's generally the times you look forward to least that pick you up the most.

I'm currently being weaned off my most recent six ,months of anti depressants and, fingers crossed, it's going well. For me, the best comfort I ever got was reading an article that said something along the lines of you need to remember that depression isn't a constant state. When I was at my worst, all I could cling to was the knowledge that the worst wouldn't always be there. The other thing was learning to be kinder to myself and act on the difference between the I can't be bothered moments as opposed to the I don't physically feel up to engaging.

Take care of you.

Buffythedebtslayer

Well after the incredible low of yesterday I was genuinely surprised to absolutely enjoy myself last night.


It cost WAY too much money and I am deeply hungover today... however am glad I went. Was lovely to see my friends. even got to say to my best friend about some of the stuff that has been going on and vice versa. I love her to bits and missed her a huge amount. She has 3 kids and had the last one just when I was diagnosed with depression and debating whether or not to take anti depressants. So in short I was a mess. I wasn't there for her with some family stuff , as a result of the depression.


connections with people make life meaningful. Even when I am struggling to find a point to all. I don't remotely mean I am going to top myself I am just not sure exactly what I am doing!


anyhow I am going to have a little nap I think.


xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Hope last night went well. It's generally the times you look forward to least that pick you up the most.

I'm currently being weaned off my most recent six ,months of anti depressants and, fingers crossed, it's going well. For me, the best comfort I ever got was reading an article that said something along the lines of you need to remember that depression isn't a constant state. When I was at my worst, all I could cling to was the knowledge that the worst wouldn't always be there. The other thing was learning to be kinder to myself and act on the difference between the I can't be bothered moments as opposed to the I don't physically feel up to engaging.

Take care of you.

that is so true. that is what I often tell myself.


XXX

skintygerlinky

Just popping in to say that I am also a person who has to entertain the Black Dog from time to time!

Deffo helps to talk about it with others who have been there. I also cringe when I remember the very first day in my previous job when my boss loudly announced to the busy staff room 'So and So has been signed off - apparently he's depressed. Personally I just don't DO depression'.

I almost passed out and thought 'right. So I guess I can never get depressed here, then'.

Good GOD!!! Soon realised it's best to avoid the cold, stupid people in life and surround myself with people who are loving, kind and supportive.

Huge hugs Buffster, IND and anyone who finds things tough going at times....so I guess that's all of us! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

hello


Well, my enjoyment of yesterday has been cosmically balanced with family time today!


was ok till after dinner when my BIL decided to channel surfing for 25 minutes. I simply cannot bear it and don't understand WHY on earth if someone invites you into their house that it would be ok for you ignore any attempts at conversation and CONSTANTLY flipping channels and then leaving the tv on half way through an Agatha Christie show, I mean what the hell?!!!!!!


so yeah that was NOT FUN. AT ALL. Found him so rude.


Pondering my money situation, getting nervous re no job. Easter break will see the CV re written and bandied about the place!


also worried re no money in August...no pension contribution, no savings, only enough to pay bills with a bit of luck.


Also with some other family stuff coming to light I am increasingly aware that I need to look after myself - put the oxygen mask on me first.


It is so hard to do this. but am very vulnerable.


ugh depressing as !!!! frankly.


and to add to this I now have to make my lunch etc.


not even prepared for tomorrow. And it is learning walks. sodding families!!!


XXX

mothernerd

I read a book once and the woman started with the basics. If you have a dog you feed and water it and take it for walks. If you have a car you put petrol and oil in, you check the tyres. So often, when it comes to ourselves we rush around doing so many things, making so many demands on ourselves without making sure we eat, drink, sleep, relax. If you wouldn't neglect a dog or mistreat a car this way, why do it to yourself.

When you are struggling with depression - and given the stress caused by your working life, it's easy to see why - just managing to get out of bed in the mornings (rather than hiding under the bedclothes) is a tremendous achievement.

Cut yourself some slack and look after yourself Buffy. Hugs.

Buffythedebtslayer

hello all,


splitting headache. !!!!!! meeting during my lunch hour tomorrow.


marking to do now. hate the job frankly. even tho the kids I teach are fantastic the workload is MENTAL. and so I am very glad I am finishing in four months.


In other news Mum seems better. So that is good.


and in pathetic news! I really want a boyfriend! so lonely sometimes and want some fun! (yes yes, yes, I know a man isn't the answer but right at this moment it is! I promise I will also go out with my friends and spend some time on my hobbies etc) tings got so bad that have been back on the dreaded online dating site...........Holy !!!!. it is grim pickings!


Dear Universe,


I would like a kind, honest,funny solvent 40+ man who loves me and wants kids.


I intend to meet the love of life and build a future full of love and support and happiness.


thank you
xx