Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

in_need_of_direction

Ps. It was only in my late 30s that my life turned around. Prior to that I was in such a bad way. You aren't old, you're in your prime

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou wrote: »

The question I think you have to ask yourself Buffy is whether it would really make you feel better or do you just think it will?
Could you do a wee bit of exercise & some healthy eating as that wont cost too much, to start with?
As you say you thought you would feel better when you left your old school & you don't.

Well, I do feel quite a bit better really, not 100% but I didn't think the depression would just go. I no longer stop the car on the way to work to cry or talk myself out of driving off in a random direction. I went away to Munich which I would never have done in my old job. I have made new friends. I think I am currently lacking direction! and focus and then the depression with it's little voice of you're not good enough comes back.


Plus a big part of me wants to get on with life but am not sure what to do!

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Def yes to the op. The sooner it happens, the sooner you'll get used to the change in appearance. Re the others, I'd say start saving for one at a time while working on the weightloss and general fitness. I invested £1400 in my teeth getting some gaps sorted pre Christmas. The main work dislodged and I haven't had the nerve to go back to the dentist for fear they can't replace it or it will cost a fortune. If I'd bored the money to pay for it, I'd be so so depressed. I'm not saying the same would happen to you but just in case... I must admit I was happier post dental work and it does boost confidence. From a dim and distant memory, I also feel that way about weight loss and it doesn't cost. Why not link saving pounds to losing pounds? Maybe £10 for every one lost?

Yeah, the first lot of work I had done didn't work out as it should, have researched this guy tho and he is better. don't know.


Just discussing weight loss with some friends. never managed to lose weight but am getting fatter!!!

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Ps. It was only in my late 30s that my life turned around. Prior to that I was in such a bad way. You aren't old, you're in your prime

That gives me hope

Buffythedebtslayer

Ok, so if you get any crazy money borrowing idea watch, "Can't pay?We will take it away!!


Depressing and scary.


Re think


1. sort op .
2. check prices of eyes and teeth.
3. save 1000 emergency fund
4. pay off current debt.
5. IF I can get another (!) 0% CC for the teeth ok.
6. IF I can get 0% deal on the eyes ok


BUT savings sellings and something else beginning with S are the name of the game!


I make damn good Spag Bol!


XXXX

in_need_of_direction

Sounds like a plan

Pooky

Make an appointment to see if your eyes are suitable for treatment. I've know 4 people that have had it done and they've gone from wearing glasses for distance to needing them for close up stuff after a couple of years. Sort of defeats the object if it really.

Try the "my fitness pal" app, you have to be very honest with listing what you are eating and I'd suggest weighing everything for a while to get used to portion sizes but it's a great app and really helps me.

in_need_of_direction

Well thanks to your earlier post, I called my dentist and was offered a cancellation for four o'clock today. I had my dental work repaired without charge and worked out what we will do if it doesn't hold. If you hadn't been musing, I probably would still have been carrying a double crown in my purse! Another time where my fear of what might be leads to inaction. All credit to you for providing me with the proverbial kick where it was needed

Skint_but_Optimistic

Confidence and mood are interlinked. It sounds like you need to make the positvie changes.

get some quick wins sorted first.

Buffythedebtslayer

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Does your phone have an alarm clock or stop watch? Just for future reference.

Oh for the love of God, I never thought of that!!!

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Glad to see your next steps start with tea. In this house it's known as irish penicillin as it makes everything better

Love tea so much!

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Well thanks to your earlier post, I called my dentist and was offered a cancellation for four o'clock today. I had my dental work repaired without charge and worked out what we will do if it doesn't hold. If you hadn't been musing, I probably would still have been carrying a double crown in my purse! Another time where my fear of what might be leads to inaction. All credit to you for providing me with the proverbial kick where it was needed

Wow, that is totally cool well done you XXXXX


am so sleepy so off to bed shortly.


Money wise. I think I am going to have to pay the tax bill which SUCKS. but am a bit scared by the letters.


other than that am ok..


thanks for the help this weekXXX

Sun_Addict

Ha ha ha ha - late thirties is old! When you get to my age you'll look back and think that is so young!! Honestly!!!!! You are young enough to turn your life around - do it before it's too late Buffy! Have a good weekend.

Buffythedebtslayer

thanks SA, another view to give me hope.


Mum is home and it is nice. However as I sit here when I would normally be cooking my breakfast or walking the dogs it is hard. I don't want to moan here really as I do love her to bits.
Lets just say, the house is super hot, the tv is on loud and I can see that she is forgetting things and is confused. I am going to put it down to jet lag for now, give it a week and raise any concerns with my sisters if she doesn't appear to be back to normal.


am knackered work was hard this week and will be hard next week. My head is saying - it doesn't matter! you leave in 4 months! My professional pride says do the job properly.


I literally cannot wait for next September surviving on supply wage. Sounds nuts but really, no commitment minimal marking. I may have money worries but they are within my control the crap they throw at us in schools is not.


I owe myself 20 quid for the August fund, Can only spend the cash in my purse till the end of the month. Am having pasta for lunch next week. Busy weekend.


Lots I could say, but am very down so don't want to dwell and ruminate about it all so best just get on!


XXXXXXXX


Edited to add.


Dear God depression is so hard. All I want to do is go to bed. I can feel it creeping around me sucking me down. have to go out and have a hen night I have spent over 50 quid on already.


I want my own house.