Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

Buffythedebtslayer

hey guys,


I am not feeling so great tonight.


had a nice day really, felt a bit better. got stuff sorted for Mum's birthday. My sister said something that stuck in my head. Silly thing really, about a bird feeder I said I would put in my garden - and she said your garden? What does she mean? to Mum and then she corrected herself as I do have a part of the garden - that initially her boyfriend "wanted to take over" but I said no as Dad had sorted that bit and I wanted to keep it. It was just after we lost Dad and I was so angry with them for wanting to change it.


It just brought back a lot of stuff. Stuff I thought I was over or had dealt with. same arguments.


Trouble is with Mum being away and them having keys. and of course my sister is coming over to walk the dogs. Normally as Mum goes away later in the year they don't bother so much but I am worried as it is spring there will be excuses to come over and "do stuff" around the house. I would love to be all benefit of the doubt and see the kindness. But I just don't. I hate them interfering and telling Mum stuff. It is pathetic. all ways round.


am so annoyed it has upset me. was looking forward to the next couple of weeks off with freedom to come and go. HATE feeling like I will be looking over my shoulder.


can't talk to mum she is stressed enough.


Just don't feel safe. tired of this. I know security is a myth but should be able to relax in my home!


but you see that is the problem it is not my home. It is Mum's and I think my sister wants to remind me (or rather her bf) that it is just as much hers as it is mine. So they do have the moral if not legal right to look after Mum's house whilst she is away. Ugh.


So I will have to put up with it.


xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Ok. so did talk to Mum, feel bad about making her feel bad but felt it had to be done.


Mum was very kind and actually thought my sister's comment was a bit odd. not in a big deal way tho. Just a I wonder why.


It wasn't an easy conversation. I feel bad that I don't have an easy relationship with either of my sisters. they ebb and flow. I am so singular and so lacking in empathy in some of their choices that it is hard to be honest with them.


No real resolution as I asked Mum not to say anything to sis as I felt it would upset up her.


they won't come round during the holidays and so I intend to get as much done as possible - which I did think I would do any how and go from there. I need to have a different type of lifestyle! no more clutter and crap every where. this would help my mental state I am sure.


so yeah awake for an hour ruminating.......must avoid this in future. Really have to have more consistent faith in my choices.


any how. night. Finally.


XXX

in_need_of_direction

Family is the most difficult area to have objectivity. For now, just focus on what's right for you.

StressedSteph

Hi Buffy,

I am not totally up to speed with the history of why you are living with your mum?.

My initial reaction is to advise you to get out somehow, whether it is to save up for a deposit for a house or rent something small. At least it will be all yours and you won't be having to tolerate your sisters snide comments about whose house it really is. :mad:.

What will happen god forbid when your mum passes? I imagine both sisters will force the sale of the house to get their share.

All none of my business so ignore me if I am prying too much.

I have to admit I would be very unhappy about your sister and her bf just coming and going when your mum goes away. Its almost like she is pee'ing on her patch . It sounds like she is either quite controlling or anxious about losing her inheritance .

I could well be way off the mark with my comment, so i hope I haven't insulted you .

Hope you managed to feel abit better after your chat with your mum.

xxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

No insult at all Steph, I just hate talking about it!


so I sent you a long pm that I briefly posted here but decided not to keep so public.




am annoyed at the moment as there is a small problem with the bathroom and guess what! they have to fix it whilst Mum is away!
and so it begins!

plus he just wouldn't listen when we were trying to explain the problem...

Buffythedebtslayer

Another long talk with Mum. Feel MUCH better.


So. Although I hate the thought of her leaving tomorrow I am looking forward to the housework. Can seriously get to grips with it all without upsetting or stressing Mum out when I make a mess




Didn't ever really think I would write the sentence looking forward to housework.................


Money wise I need to be careful. Various vets appointments and stuff to pay for.


I am also meeting a couple of friends for lunch this week. Very nice, something to look forward to.


Tomorrow is all about the sheds and listing things on gum tr*ee and Pr*loved.


As well as seeing Mum off the premises. I am going to miss her so much.


XX

in_need_of_direction

How long will she be away?

Buffythedebtslayer

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

How long will she be away?

8 weeks?


comes back the end of May. She got away safely, traffic is bad due to the wind and bridge closures........fingers crossed it is not too bad.


Today was going to be about sheds but the wind is dreadful! and things are being blown all over the show out, not the day fo heavy lifting! Plus also (weirdly) the wind kept me awake so I had about 4 hours sleep.


So paperwork sorting is being opted for. Plus moving the guinea pigs downstairs but first breakfast.


XXXX

Buffythedebtslayer

I have adopted bunny rabbit. Sort of an impulse but not really.


I have wanted one for a while - actually two. And part of the decluttering was all about emptying the shed to house a pair.


But then I saw this advert..........the woman was really nice and have brought him home.


Not exactly anyway to put him!!! but am working on it

Sun_Addict

Oh Buffy a real live Easter bunny! Enjoy your housework (enjoy ha ha!!!) and hope you get some serious decluttering done. Re your sister I was thinking along the same lines as Steph. Sounds to me like she's reminding you the house wouldn't be yours if anything happened to your mum. Family can be very territorial when money is involved. Hopefully it will be many years before you have to deal with this sort of thing though.