Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

Buffythedebtslayer

Happy Friday


I am on a mission not to spend money or more accurately not to waste money.


I paid the 7p I owed my credit card


and the 69.95 I spent on my Tesco's card.


I am totally debt free. TOTALLY.


I (now) have 400 in the ISA, 150 for pets (!) 110 saved for Christmas, Car 260 (due a service and monthly saving for insurance ) 300 in gen. savings and 100 in clothes.
oh and 60 in the virtual sealed pot.




Ideally I am hoping to save a 1000 in the general savings and pay some more into the ISA. the rest all go up by 50 quid a month.


spending plans


1. fish tank
2. fish pond extension
3. holiday. Alone. somewhere cheap. very cheap and hot.


I *may* use my CC to buy the tank and pond stuff, it will be bought very cheaply. Well some bits. I don't want to skimp massively. I have the normal time constraints in terms of having to do it all in the holidays hence the cc maybe.


It all seems so indulgent to do this but I have had it on list for a while now and well.....I have waited.


XX


xxx

Sun_Addict

Hi Buffy. Great idea from INOD about the diary. If you're anything like me your mind will go blank as soon as you get in the surgery. And why are doctors receptionists so rude? I tried to get an appointment for my eczema to be told no appointments that day, the next day was staff training day, the following day half day closing, Friday's usually busy etc so basically saying go away.

Glad to see some of your plans are being put into action. I've got a wish list of things I want to buy now I'm debt free. Don't feel guilty.

in_need_of_direction

When I got my credit card bills cleared I bought a throw for the bed that I was lusting after for years. I am still known to put one leg outside the covers and rub my foot up and down it. It was a pure indulgence but sometimes we need to mark our own triumphs. Also, despite knowing that I craved this, OH refused to buy it as a gift. He reckoned that I needed to get it as by clearing the debt, I deserved it. Apparently females in particular struggle with the concept of deserve!

Buffythedebtslayer

Well my Saturday was.........good really.


1. fed birds.
2. had nice breakfast.
3. returned shoes.
4. had nice lunch.


But then I had a nap. for 3 hours. This is fairly common on a Saturday. I am always tired. Equally tho I came home yesterday and napped for 2 hours. I am putting that down to time of the month. Although I have worked 3 evenings this week. Work was ok tho, better than it had it been.


So I didn't do any decluttering.


And then I watched tv with Mum tonight. Good programmes.


I suppose this was a day off.


Oh and I ordered shoes.





I am just feeling a little sad tonight - not about today especially, did enjoy it really, spent time in the garden and with the pets. Just got back in touch with a few people, literally just checking in on FB.


Everyone has children and a partner. And I KNOW it doesn't mean they are happy, I am not stupid, I have enough friends with unhappy marriages. I think I just wonder why I have never even come close. Not even slightly. No man has ever felt that way about it me. Most people had a one that got a way or a horrible divorce. I have failures. Short lived romances that never got off the ground. And after each once I hibernate.


And it makes me sad.


And this reaction is ridiculous.


If it meant that much to me I would have gone on more dates - I did it a few years ago. I tried really hard for one summer and it was frankly all I could take, I couldn't bear the sad !!!!less, tacky idiots I met.


My friend said - when I admitted I hadn't been on a date since I broke up with my last boyfriend (two years, nearly three actually) he said I was either incredibly fussy or a lesbian. And it is definitely the former. I did officially give up on men and it is because I have no time for them. See! so judgemental! and I cannot help it. I try not to but I don't have many positive experiences with men and I go from my experiences.


I rarely met men I like who are the right/age/available and when I do I think they are !!!!!!!!s. I have no patience with either of the men I work with.




I loved to today - the sitting and watching the animals and reading. the sleeping (which all friends with kids will hate me for). I know I can craft a life to be happy in. I can't stay in this no man's land without direction. Now I am debt free it is a chance to do what I want. I just really need to work on two things.


1. STOP comparing myself to other people
2. stop being so negative about men.


Any ideas on either of them?


night all X

Buffythedebtslayer

have been sitting here for more than an hour, watching Play Misty for Me........


Crazy.......


anyhow tomorrow I am going to devote all my time to my room. I need to physically move on, change it round? to reflect my new debt free, saving status.


Focus on the positives.

judi24

There must be something in the air Buffy - I posted feeling yeugh about my lack of nice man to help shoulder the responsibility of the house /garden/car etc - sometimes I just get so fed up struggling to do it on my own - I do have 4 kids to keep me busy so our circumstances are a bit different but it still gets to me - although I come back to earth when I remember the feelings of lack of freedom and control that I had in my relationships!! - and I don't believe the grass is always greener in a relationship! however it would be nice to not be watching ;play misty for me' (its a bit weird!) on my own!

Pooky

Maybe you've been looking for the wrong thing in men (without realising).

If you've been unhappy with your home life and your job and unhappy with yourself then you'll subconsciously be looking for someone to fix all of that and make everything lovely and fluffy and happy ever after.

What you need to do first is fix yourself. Find a job that makes you happy, find some solutions to your health issues and then when you're feeling more settled the right man will appear if you want him to.

You've got to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to.

You've sorted your debt, you're now in a stronger position to sort the job and get yourself to the Dr's with a list of the stuff you're struggling with and accept the help and medication that they can give you.

Easier said than done, I know, I've been there but it can all change.

Nothing will change unless you do.

Here end'th the sermon.



On a different note entirely - show us the shoes!!!!

in_need_of_direction

Wise words from the panda. Esp about the shoes.

StressedSteph

Fabulous news on becoming debt free Buffy :j

Sorry you felt sad over the weekend. I recently started taking Agnus Castus. I constantly felt blue and low and Eager elephant on here recommended me trying it and it has been amazing. Not claiming that a simple pill will solve all your problems but may be worth trying them out.

Like you said, you can carve out whatever sort of life you fancy now you are debt free and like Pooky said, make yourself happy first and maybe when you are least expecting it, Mr "He will do" will come along, because after all Mr Perfect is just a fairytale

Be kind to yourself and yes super jealous of the lunchtime nap. Nothing better than a lie down at lunchtime reading a book and drifting off. Lush

Buffythedebtslayer

I actually think I pick men who need fixing? or in reality it would never work out with and I am the classic self fulfilling prophecy, I have in no particular order dated, two workaholics, one alcoholic, and then a couple of long distant relationships which had no hope and most recently a guy who was separated from his wife but still had......er, issues shall we say and lived an hour away! I made good friends with another married guy and a manic depressive oh and another married teacher friend.....none of whom have I been involved with at all but am friends with- this is the type of man I attract it would seem. To be honest now my time of the month has gone I am back on an even keel! and shall go and buy some Angus casta (thanks StephX)


Any how, I did move round my room, looks better, not perfect.....even managed a bit of highly crap painting- as in the paint came through, looks sort of dirty. hey ho! will have to go over it again in the holidays..:)


have spent a fair whack on the pets... but not in debt. Room should look much better soon.


Got LOADS OF work to do. also been asked to apply for a job at school. It is a good job. I could do it. Don't know if I want it.


also have toothache as well as being ill with a cold - the type that blocks your nose in the middle of the night so you wake up suddenly in the night cos you can't breathe. so am behind at work and home.


right cooked Mum breakfast, feel a bit sick myself but am going to wrap presents and have a nap before leaving for my sister's for lunch, then home to mark a set of books.




Happy Mother's day XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX