Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

beanielou

You would still be you.
The basic you.
Just a slightly different version.

Buffythedebtslayer

I think I would be happier.


Am sitting at home eating celebrations.


I did hoover, clean the bathroom and have a general sort of tidy. not much but baby steps. Am back on the Flylady. Day three tomorrow.


Truthfully I feel my job needs to go. I know now I have worked different places and ultimately the effect on me is the same. This isn't what I want.


I have to find something else to do.


however I am contracted till July. 5 months. five times 4 = 20 weeks.


I can do that.


and I get paid Thursday so will pay off debts.


XX

beanielou

Yes, you can do til July.
Take the time now to think think think what you want to do next.

lulabelle

Hang in there bufster. Have you tried reading what colour is my parachute and the career change handbook? You can prob borrow them from the library - may help x

Buffythedebtslayer

Two things happened this week to suggest I am losing the plot more than I realise.


1. I spent some of both Tuesday and Wednesday with chest pains. Due to anxiety - I was so tense the muscles across shoulders and chest was immense. It lessened by Thursday and is pretty much gone now.


2. I didn't realise I was supposed to go out to dinner tonight.


I am shattered tonight. barely slept most of this week.


definitely not staying in my current job. It is hell.


I don't have any more thoughts. too tired.


XX

Chocforever

It is awful to read that you are having such a tough time.

You come across as being pretty happy with the tutoring and weekend work and get something positive out of it. I have read your diary for some time and suspect you are a rather good and caring teacher. Is it possible to get more out of hours work and/or tutoring courses over school holidays and quit the normal teaching job? Perhaps now the debt is gone you have a bit more flexibility to take some time over building up other income streams.

A couple of my friends who got a Masters then went on to get a job at a university which was tied in with a PhD so there was some job security for the duration of the PhD and the pay is better than I expected. Working conditions seem rather better at universities than secondary schools with more flexibility to work part time. I don't know how practical this is for you but just a thought.

I reduced my hours from five to four days a week a few years ago. It's done wonders for my health and enables me to do something nice in my free time rather than simply recover from work and do chores and errands. I also feel more positive about my job even though it is exactly the same one I felt depressed about when working full time. If financially viable, I would recommend it.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Go back to your GP Buffy, you don't need to feel like that. Anxiety is awful . Big hugs Xx

Sun_Addict

Oh Buffy Hope you get yourself sorted ASAP.

Buffythedebtslayer

Thank you ladies. Will have to re register with doctors. Tho I might be joining a different doctors as mine seem fairly !!!!! frankly!


I have big news!


I PAID OFF THE DEBTS!


I have 300 pounds left in my ISA.


*gulps*


aside from that I am bit skint!


I am feeling pretty good about it all. One less problem to think about.


And Chocoforever that was a lovely post thank you xxx I went out with my best mate and we discussed similar ideas, re tutoring especially.


I have guinea pigs to clean out and a room to hoover...........


yawn


XXX

beanielou

Wow, go you Buffy xxx