Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

Buffythedebtslayer

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Hi Buffy. Have noticed your posts on other threads so thought I'd drop in on your diary. From the support and Jhelum you give others, I'd never have thought you were suffering with the dreaded depression. I've been dealing with it for years off and on. The best suggestion that was ever made to me is to step outside yourself when you hit the pit and ask, if you were looking at someone else, what would you opinion or advice be. Basically, one theory is that those who suffer with depression are harder on themselves than on anyone else. Sometimes you just need to step back, be more objective and breathe before taking the next step. I'm subscribing as I think you're doing great and can't wait to see what you achieve next!

That is so lovely read, thanks. have been a bit rubbish this week! but thanks XX

It is true that I sort of step into a box and lose a fair bit of perspective when I have bad days. I have been listening to some hypnotism CDs at night which seem to be helping.

WantToBeSE wrote: »

Buffy, I vote you do B followed by C.
I hate shopping, so I say no to that

I went shopping. Was all I am woman hear me roar, then got struck down by period pains, rushed home, rocked on the sofa, threw up and slept woke up, realised I had no milk, eggs, bread, hmmmm


Had to go out AGAIN. spent 17 pounds and had a rude till person, had already spent 20 quid in Morrison's but it is not so bad. Will need to pop out for more stuff for the piggies. but not till mid week.


Feeling very sorry for the piggies. SO hard when I am the only one with the dogs to spend much time with them. need a plan - like SA says. I really do need a plan.


Take care for now.


XXXXXXXXXX

Buffythedebtslayer

SO it is 11 o clock on a Sunday.


I went to bed at two which was stupid. However slept till 9. the lack of sleep in my life concerns me and I deliberately didn't put an alarm on to see how long I slept. Normally during the week I manage 5 hours a night which is not enough.


so when left to it I sleep for seven hours. which means I MUST be in bed by 11. MUST to get up at six.


The state of house is bugging me massively.


So next weekend has to be focussing on the house, therefore today must be marking after yesterday's nightmare.


I think after extensive searching I have found a solution to the Gp problem. I am spending 33.90 on a run for indoors with a roof to stop the dogs jumping in. They don't want to attack the guinea pigs apart from with love and lots of licks but something big and furry with teeth does tend to freak them out a fair bit.


Oh my God it is almost 1!


EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKkk

lulabelle

Hey bufster

I've subscribed and I hadnt (until I read your thread) realised you were suffering. Like the other poster that was because you provide such great support to others, including me

Have you ever tried counselling? Might help to speak to someone independent

But keep fighting Hun and keep your chin up. Nothing stays the same, things change and there is always something, no matter how small, to smile about xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh thanks Lulabelle I only do what we all do. lovely for you to say tho XXX Some days I wouldn't survive without this place and my friends here XXX


Well today I


1. cleaned out gps,
2. " " gerbil so sorry for him living alone).
3. " " the rescue hamster who doesn't have a name. can't think of one at all. not like me.
4. mopped and hovered downstairs.
5. hovered up stairs.
6. made soup (which smells odd - broccoli was a mistake)
7. put loads of washing on.......
8. did some "sorting of the crap pile from the shed"


am off to clean the bathroom, walk the dogs and hopefully put a chicken pie in the oven for dinner.


then I might do that marking. REALLY must change my job!


I did have a fit of cramps today but not as bad as yesterday.

patanne

I too "bumped into you" on other threads and didn't realise the depression. It can be a real pain in the proverbial can't it? Don't you just hate the people who imply that you just aren't trying to get through it? I have a sibling diagnosed with depression, who won't believe I am depressed because I don't compulsively clean like they do! Some days I have trouble making myself shower let alone CLEAN! We all seem to have different symptoms but it doesn't mean they are not all real.

So don't knock yourself for something you can't help, or over criticize yourself. Plus are you sure you are not anaemic? (I'm subscribing & apologising for asking too many questions - comes from being far too interested in how other people get by)

lulabelle

Ps bufster, I have depression too and am going through cognitive analytical therapy right now so know how being depressed feels.

What about Burt for the hamster?!

please-let-me-be-lucky

I vote Diego if Hamster is a boy, Lola if it's a girl Xx

beanielou

Brocoli soup is yum

madhatter90

Perhaps an old classic - Hammy the hamster? :P

patanne

broccoli yeuk cauliflower yum!!!