Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

lulabelle

Sorry to hear you're not in the best way mothernerd. Hope you recover soon.

Bufster, I endorse everything MN says re the getting together with others IF you need to.

Also, try not to take the tv show too seriously. Remember IF you don't end up having kids, you will be saving a lot of money you otherwise would have had to spend on nursery fees, clothes, food, uni fees etc

X

in_need_of_direction

Having had children, I'm disinclined to believe I would be financially worse off if I hadn't.

Sun_Addict

Hope you're feeling better soon Buffy x

StressedSteph

Hi Buffy,

Hope you have managed to hobby yourself out of your funk. What fish do you have?? I used to have a big marine tank and I miss it everyday .

Please do not think that just because you haven't had children that you will be suffering at old age. Just like Mothernerd says, most children nowadays are so caught up in their own lives they hardly have time or the inclination to help their parents, and who wants to have a stroppy annoyed carer? Not me, I would rather manage on my own.

The glass has to be half full, not half empty. I love my children dearly, but there isn't a week that goes by without me wondering how much more amazing/easier/carefree my life would be if I hadn't had them.

I don't admit that to many people, but hubby and I nearly didn't bother having any, I think we just gave in to what was expected of us. In times of exasperation I often wonder how different our lives would be now without them and how much better off financially we would be.

Somehow you need to maybe find a couple of friends who are in a similar situation. There should be a club called "Single, Childless and happy" . Maybe you could start one??. I bet there loads of independent people out there who have avoided the stereotype of what a normal life should be. and are loving it.

I expect there are many women out there, tied down with kids in a loveless marriage that would kill for your situation.

Go grab that world Buffy :beer:

*Steps off her soapbox

Skint_but_Optimistic

HI Buffy. Being alone can be the worst and the best thing at the same time.

find things which make you happy and dont worry about being old, theres plenty of time before then.

Get well and what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Apparently. Although some people become crippled.

I am not helping, I shall now go and bother elsewhere!

Sun_Addict

Just reading Steph's bit and to be honest I don't think I would have had children if I hadn't got pregnant by accident. I had no plans to have any and no interest in other people's babies. Then I had a second baby which was planned as it wasn't as bad as I thought after all. But there have been several instances when I wished I hadn't had any believe me. And when Mr SA was in hospital they weren't really much help at all. I agree with Steph on this one.

Hope you're feeling a bit chirpier soon.

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh you lot do make me feel better XXX thank you so much for sharing, you have no clue what it means. I am sitting here with Mum so can't cry but want to!


I think part of it is going to somewhere new and having the questions about life, partners, kids, holidays and I am SO singular"no, no boyfriend, no children. Even in my approach to work, I hate team building exercises!!and sharing in public, one woman even blurted out "but you would make a lovely Mum" which isn't what I wanted to hear. ugh.


A few things happened today that hurt me - work wise I mean, being left out and ignored simply because the other two in my department, honestly I thought I had done with childish "professionals" but apparently not.


so work has meant that I haven't been able to hobby my way out of the funk. It is alive and well.


Still, good on the money front, but can't access my CC account. Lost the card, probably put it away with the Christmas decorations. so am paying off bits, must update on on Lucky's thread.


Am cold fed up and aware things need to change again.


driving, ma, new job, new car, new job. Now I need to work out what next.


I recommend watching the Musketeers, they are certainly attractive!


off to mark now XXXXX thank you again XXXXX

Buffythedebtslayer

I am here again Sunday night after being really ill for about week! terrible migraine brought on by a cough/cold thing. REALLY scary as with out Mum I don't know what I would have done.


So an awful week.


It is roughly 100 days till the General Election and I was thinking that actually my life is going the same way it did before - in my old job, stress and crap from work, house better but not good.


me fat, single, unhappy, distant from friends (aside from online) and how shall I put this...........turning into even more of a crazy pet lady!


So, my personal challenge for the next 100 days is to sort all this out.


Now, before you tell me it is too much to do or small changes build to good habits, I get that but SERIOUSLY I have read every plan, theory, self help system malarkey, I have done the thinking and the analysing and the pondering and relaxing and not caring and being brave and the doing nothing, I have blamed everyone including me and felt guilty, oh SO much guilt!! SO !!!! it! Now is the time for doing!


So whatever unstable government we have I will


1. have lost 1 stone
2. be debt free
3. de-cluttered my room and my stuff from this house and shed
4. redecorated at least two rooms
5. rebuilt the pond(!)
6. have a job lined up for Sept
7. finished the garden
8. finished the dolls house (don't ask!)
9. made new friends
10 visited at least 4 different places.
11. have a social life ie - out once a week socially with people I like.
12. be organised at work.


So sod thinking about why I have been this way, it is just going to change. I am so sick of it!


So here is to my 100 days XX

in_need_of_direction

I love that manifesto. Have you weighed yourself yet?

beanielou

Keep plodding