Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

StressedSteph

Morning Buffy,


Wow that is a massive plan .


I am all about achievable goals and making lists, but what about some sub-categories. Break those goals down abit into small bites so you can cross some off and feel you are heading in the right direction.


I know this site is mostly about anonymity because of our self induced financial mess's but I have often wondered in my lonely moments how many of you guys actually live quite close to each other and wouldn't it be lovely to have a meet up.


I live in Dorset and I usually find a lot of people are usually the other side of the country. But in the "Making New Friends" category. I wondered if any of these wonderful people on here that are in the same county as you and a new friend in the making?? Just a mad idea.


Keep smiling hun, we all have a million things we want to change in our lives and I can soooooo agree with the guilt issue. I am a massive self guilt-tripper. My voice in my head goes round and round with nasty comments about what a useless friend, mother, daughter, wife I often am. Non of us are perfect and I think if we scratch the surface with a lot of people we are all fighting our own demons.


Big hugs and breakdown some of the goals in to bite sized pieces.


What is it Dave Ramsey says - If you look at an Elephant you would never imagine being able to eat it all, but if you start off with small bites and just keep going, you will wake up one day and realise you have eaten it all.


I am pretty sure he explains it in a much better way than me, but you get the idea xxxxxx

beanielou

Some of us have indeed met up in RL

mothernerd

Last week I mostly hid under the bedclothes (fully clothed and with a dressing gown on top). It's warmer this week so I have to face the mess that is my house. Still lots of things I can't do but start from where I am, do what I can.

Trying to tackle it in 15 minute chunks (aiming for 10 x 15 minute chunks a day) hoping it will make a difference by the end of the week. So 15 minutes washing up (water was cold and greasy by then and my leg was aching, so ran fresh water to soak some of the nasty bits and left that for later), 15 minutes on recycling, 15 minutes clearing out a lever arch file, 15 minutes 'unblocking' the toilet (wasn't blocked but water was rising and only draining slowly but did it before it got critical).

Today I am tired so concentrating on tidying (5 mins each on hanging up clean clothes, putting away pillowcases and putting the fresh pillowcases onto the pillows, rather than in the general direction of the bed). Still taking a long time to do everything but I am doing something.

So pick one bit that is really annoying you, set the timer and tackle that bit.If that energises you do the next bit and the next. Pick a reward for set points - ten minutes sit down and a cup of tea, a hot bath if you do two hours on the grot spot.

Do you know anyone who could be a clutter buddy - she does an afternoon with you, you do the same for her. It's always easier to tackle other people's stuff.

Just as it is difficult to tackle the short of money/ need to lose weight/ am depressed trilogy sometimes being MSE and clutter clearing can conflict. In your case I would say, if in doubt, get without. Yes we should be selling on bay of e, bookface, freecycling etc but I think the stuff is overwhelming you and if there were less 'stuff' you would find a space to grow and think more clearly.

The only way I could finally let go of my long playing records (years after I had the means to play them) was to put the whole lot in a bag and take them to the charity shop. If I looked through them, I would agonise and procrastinate and finally part with 2 or 3.

I found getting rid of books very hard. I had children so as they grew their need for space grew - I did sometimes imagine it getting to the point where I had a chair in the corner of the kitchen with a small windowsill for my things. I know you have things on your kindle/device but I think you also have actual books.

With books you have to think that these things have inspired you or given you pleasure and that now you want to share that joy with other people and send them out into the world to give pleasure to others. Apparently people who have lots of books, have their primary relationship with books and in order to let other relationships blossom, you have to let go of the books - not sure I buy that one.

Small steps, celebrate your successes, reward yourself. Hope this helps. In peace and friendship
mothernerd

Skint_but_Optimistic

mothernerd you sound like you love things around you so much, I appreciate that sentiment and understand that motivation.

Buffy you need to be happy. I was once told to find the thing which makes your heart sing. If you do that, you dont ever go wrong.

Much love x

in_need_of_direction

Mother nerd,I love the clutter buddy idea. Hey Buffy, why don't we make use of the ferry and become clutter buddies. I do think though we'd probably spend our time identifying lots of books the other has that we would each need to get!

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou wrote: »

Some of us have indeed met up in RL

We certainly have! XXXX

Skint_but_Optimistic wrote: »

mothernerd you sound like you love things around you so much, I appreciate that sentiment and understand that motivation.

Buffy you need to be happy. I was once told to find the thing which makes your heart sing. If you do that, you dont ever go wrong.

Much love x

The thing is with that quote is that I first heard from a poster I found super annoying so God it grates, however I get what you mean.


thing is I think it is teaching. I still love the actual teaching, the rest of it, in this country at any rate can get stuffed.


Steph, a whole group of us made friends from here quite a few years ago and did trips and weekends away, I try to met up at least once a year, sometimes we do charity runs or well shopping! and drinking!


this is why even after all this time I am so passionate about MSE, it can change your life. I still wonder if they understand how much they helped me.


XXX

Buffythedebtslayer

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Mother nerd,I love the clutter buddy idea. Hey Buffy, why don't we make use of the ferry and become clutter buddies. I do think though we'd probably spend our time identifying lots of books the other has that we would each need to get!

Totally. I LOVE books. they are staying. like old friends.


XX

in_need_of_direction

That's why I recently bought a bookcase. I'd resolved, rather huffily, to give in and get a kindle til OH put me out of my misery and suggested the bookcase!

beanielou

As the WB's & friends changed mine Buffy xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Tits. I wrote a long reply and the lap top crashed!!


must sleep now love to you all XX