Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

beanielou

Glad meeting went well.
Do not move furniture if you have hurt your back

Sun_Addict

Hi Buffy, glad the meeting went well, it's good to thrash things out when you're not happy at work. I've hurt my back too, no idea how. Hope yours is getting better.

Buffythedebtslayer

hello,




hey SA, hope your back is better by now X


I did move furniture, very carefully and slowly.


Back hurts bit no more than usual. Had an accident at work today, the gate to car park swung out and hit my car, so annoyed.


So yeah. not brilliant. Had better days.


However I am grateful for having a good mechanic and kind friends.


One thing that did happen, post accident, sitting sobbing like a baby over my car(!) (yes I know) in the head's office, lovely man THANK GOD. He asked if there was anyone who could come and pick me up. And I said no. (nearly started crying again) Just had to pull myself together and drive myself home. I was fine but literally the idea of no one being here to give me a hug or pour me a glass of wine. I mean I cannot get upset in front of mum she worries too much. It would be nice, no lovely to have a person. someone I could just fall through the door to.


I have closed myself off to all that. not dated in 18 months and honestly been ok. But stuff like this just really brings home how bloody lonely it is. Am sure I will get over it in a few days.


going to eat chocolate and get an earlynight.


XXXX

beanielou

So get you.
Just sometimes it would be nice for someone to support us.
Hey ho.

patanne

BUT - sometimes it can be lonelier being with someone than being on your own. I have definitely been there!

please-let-me-be-lucky

Sorry to hear about the car. Hope today has been better Xx

lulabelle

Bufster I totally understand what you mean about not having anyone there when those things happen. When I had to go into hospital last year and had to fight my insurance company to pay to allow me to stay in overnight as I had no one at home to look after me after a general so they wouldn't release me I cried. I also cried when in the hospital by myself as I was alone and scared before the op. Sure some friends came to visit afterwards but I had no one there on the worst part which is before when you're sh1tting it

Same when judge was asking me why I couldn't move a meeting to earlier so could start court at 10 and it was cos I had to drop cat at cattery as was going away. Had to say in front of a packed court room I had no one else to do it for me

It sucks

But also agree with what the others say, best to be alone than with someone not right as that can feel more lonely.

Chin up chicken xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello all xx


I had an ok rest of the week. People at work have been nice about the car and I shall see what the insurance people say.


The lonely thing is bothering me more than I'd like. The BBC have been running a thing about aging Britain and Friday's segment was about the aging childless! Apparently we can't afford care and will end up poor and homeless with no on to care for us.


Great!


So that cheerfulness aside on the money front I have had a cheap week. Am out tonight so that won't last! Generally tho am ok. Obviously tho it depends on the car, if it is written off and I need to get a new one(!) that will change my pots as no doubt insurance won't pay enough to completely replace the car.


Still fingers crossed.


ugh. not feeling well.


XX

Buffythedebtslayer

Have sat for a bit and feel better. I keep getting waves of nausea, had it for a few days now. But it passes. most odd cos not to overshare, I am normally just sick and then ok. Oh God even typing that made me feel a bit iffy.


Suspect I shouldn't be out tonight but it is only a quiet drink.


I am going to throw myself into my hobbies for a bit. Distraction and exercise to get me out of this funk. I have lots I can do, redo the tanks and start sewing again(!) plus dog walking.


In fact I think I shall go to the fish shop tomorrow


Best get on am supposed to out and about already!

mothernerd

Those of us who have children can not guarantee we will have someone to look after us when get old. I am half way though the acute recuperation period from a total hip replacement operation and my 23yo DS3 (who lives with me) was in a total panic about it and kept saying he 'hadn't signed up for this'.

He was scared about not being up to looking after me (not helped by DS2 turning up drunk and threatening him. whilst I was in hospital). I told DS3 we were both aware he wasn't fit to look after a pet hamster and we would manage. I filled the freezer, had as much to hand as I could (kept crispbread, fruit, porridge oats - I like them in fruit yoghurt, disposable cutlery and plates by my bedside to avoid trips downstairs for forgotten items). Basically all he has had to do was make sure I had plenty of water to drink (couldn't carry bottles from the bathroom whilst on crutches) and tie my shoelaces (still not allowed to bend that far). At first I could only manage to go downstairs once a day but would bring a sandwich/ veg sticks and other snacks back to keep me going.

It had been arranged months ago that he would go to his gf's family for Christmas so I asked DS2 if he could come round to check on me. DS1 is 2 hours away and 4 hours travelling to tie someone's shoelaces is a bit much. He only came 3 times in the two weeks DS3 was away and stayed 10 minutes on his longest visit but told his dad (we have been divorced for over 20 years) that DS3 had run away and he had had to rescue me. He also gave him my phone number so I have received a card, two phone calls (missed but didn't reply when I had tracked through the address book and recognised the area code) and a voicemail message all saying how sad that I was all alone and good of DS2.

I had a wonderful Christmas. The library service delivered an extra large parcel of books including a new Ian Rankin. I had loads of food and ate just what I felt like eating (cooked and sliced my turkey the weekend before my op and put away a small drawerful of treats in the freezer). I had sewing and any music/ games/ telly I might want on my laptop. Blissful peace and quiet (hadn't realised how much DS3's sleeping pattern disturbed me) and sleeping/ resting when required. If I had been dragged to someone else's house I would have worried about chair and toilet seat heights, avoiding small children crashing into me and 'spoiling the party' if I was exhausted and someone needed to bring me home.

I am now allowed to move about without the crutches indoors and can get up and down 3 times a day for an hour or so (depends on how cold it is in the kitchen) and am going for a daily walk outside (the ice and snow set me back a bit).

It depends what you want but even if you met the man of your dreams, as women we will probably outlive our partners. There was a lot of publicity a few years ago about independent women of a certain age getting together to buy/ build property to suit their needs so that they would have support and company when they needed it but also privacy and their own space when they wanted it.

A larger 4 bedroom property might work out cheaper than 4 individual terraced houses (older houses have more generous spaces) and if you found others in a similar position to yourself it could work financially.

Support systems don't need to be elaborate. my grandma had a friend living in an adjacent street. my grandad died when I was small, the friend had never married and she and her brother had continued to live in their parents' house until he died (as was common then). The friend was an early riser, my grandma a night owl. They had a postcard and each day when they woke up they would post the card through the other's letterbox. If the postcard didn't arrive they had phone numbers for nearest relatives to phone.

Hope your evening out is fun.