Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log"

Sun_Addict

Happy Christmas Buffy! Knit Witch your NY Eve sounds bliss

please-let-me-be-lucky

Merry Christmas Buffles Xx

in_need_of_direction

Where's Buffy? Come out, come out wherever you are. It's the school holidays.

Buffythedebtslayer

hello


here I am, although I have a new laptop, I am not getting on with it so still on the old one, however it over heats and I confess I have been on my Kindle and posting in............Facebook groups! A time suck I have never seen the like of!


Christmas.......was. It was good. Christmas day was good. I think I have finally realised it is never going to be what it was when my Dad was alive. The round of visits and shopping and wrapping and funny stories are gone. I get it now. My sister and brother in law are just not funny story people.


So with zero expectations and a get through it attitude I did well. Got some LOVELY presents. all useful. so that's good.


Food was nice, although I was ill and doubtful I would make it through the day. but in the end it was alright.


Boxing day wasn't great but I am not dwelling on it.


Today rocked. Did NOTHING. got up. watched TV walked doggies. eat breakfast. ate chocolates, nuts, general crap, watched more tv.


Marvellous.


The day I am dreading is looming closer. ugh. the closer it gets the more I dread it!


I am aware I am isolating myself but also think it is time I reassessed things. My oldest friends are no longer my "best" friends........yes I am 12! hopefully you know what I mean! I am tired of the obligation and the duty to turn up.


Hopefully I go late and leave early.


the thought is making me very anxious.


ugh.........................


I really just want to get it out of the way and get on with my new year plans.


I feel very strongly that I want to cut out dead wood and timewasting people (and FB groups!!) and get on with things that matter to me.


XX


Edited to add,


I do not mean cut these people out of my life, I just mean.....see them differently? perhaps on a more one to one basis or a girls' night out rather than a kind of family get together type thing which I do not fit into.


I have to work hard to make a life for me now. Go to museums and galleries at the weekend. Visit the places in London I have wanted to go to for so long. Join some groups. This will make me feel less out of place with my old friends - if I know I have a place. hope that makes sense.

Shoe_Gal

Makes perfect sense to me - now go make it happen :A

in_need_of_direction

I think it's better that you have reached that realisation about friends calmly than have it brought on by emotion. IMHO, Facebook is the work of the devil so the less time on there, the better. On another note, I find the things I'm dreading generally work out better than anticipated so go and just give it a chance. Who knows there could be a previously unmet mr wonderful there just dying to meet the fun, witty Buffy!

Sun_Addict

This bit between Christmas and New Year is rubbish. I feel like I'm just waiting to start afresh.

StressedSteph

Hi Buffy,

Your post makes perfect sense. Make a List (oooh love lists) .

Make a list of all your "Must Do's". I have started mine already. I do far too much facebook surfing and as "in need of direction" says, it really is the work of the devil. It makes me feel dissatisfied, like everyone else in the world has it sorted and i am the only one with a less than perfect life. This of course is all rubbish.

Set yourself targets and goals - By the end of January I have to have done X, Y & Z. Maybe it will push you into getting started.

Don't do anything on New Years eve that you don't want to do. Don't suppose you have any other single friends that would like to meet up?.

I struggle as I have three close friends but they all have someone "closer" so I continuously feel like the third wheel in my friendships. I am constantly jealous of it and have to keep giving myself a kick up the bum.

We all have our demons hun, we just have to learn how to keep them locked away. xxxx

beanielou

Buffy~~All i am going to say is as you know, I am so glad that I am older than you.
I have been through this friends thing & am so glad that I came out on the other side.
I held onto a friend for way too long as they were my oldest friend.
I no longer had anything in common with them & we did not have the same values.
Suffice to say we are no longer friends as such but we have never fallen out either if that makes sense?

Sun_Addict

I had the same experience recently with an old friend I met up with for lunch. She hadn't changed at all, which was a bad thing in this case as it meant she hadn't grown up either and I found her a bit too silly. We didn't have much in common any more and she probably thought I had gone really boring. I resisted the urge to join FB for a couple of years until last year when I was on my own when Mr SA was in hospital. I found it a way to keep in touch with my friends and I've arranged quite a few meet ups with old friends via it which wouldn't have happened if I hadn't joined, so I'm glad I did now. I don't put much on it myself but I enjoy reading what other people post - unless they are posting about the incredibly hard workout they'd just done on Christmas Eve and how amazing they felt afterwards (which made me feel a right slob). It must be hard when you're single and all your friends are in relationships I find as you get older it's harder to make new friends. When Mr SA was in hospital I was struggling as although I have friends who I see for lunch and keep in touch with they aren't the sort of friends who can just pop round to your house and check you're ok on the spur of the moment. I blame this on being in a relationship, unfortunately you don't have as much time for your friends and they start dropping off. Until one day you need them and find they aren't there anymore.