Less than 12 weeks pregnant club! Part 4!!

LavenderBee

Aw bless him - I think mine was getting used to trying and it not happening, and was probably a bit surprised that I'd managed to keep it quiet for a week, but I just didn't want to tell him over a messenger app. Oh, he's still not read the silly baby book, but I've been sending him "dad's guide" to each month as they're relevant. Takes him 2 minutes a month to read and gives him a heads up about what might happen (so he knows when the main symptoms could be coming my way). Each week I also read him the snippet from my pregnancy tracker about baby's development week by week, only takes a minute and the fruit/vegetable comparisons are always fun (if not a bit confusing). We started that at week 5 and still going

I seriously thought about an early scan between the "oh crap" NHS one and the 12 week scan but they were all £90 in my area. If I'd found a £30 one I would've done it too!

Today was my last day in the office before I'm going to 'fess up to my closest colleagues. Combination of working from home, external meetings and then taking a day off for my scan. Then I'll tell the girls if all is well. I've got PGP already, growing pains and round ligament pains are fairly prolific at this stage so I'm struggling to hide some of my associated facial expressions. But I also had to hide my 24/7 nausea, aversions, cravings, nosebleeds, baby brain, extra trips to the loo and there was one day when I was about 7 weeks and I had to work from home for the afternoon - because I could not stop going and I was sure someone was going to twig! Now there's also the baby bump and 4 extra bra sizes... I had 2 weeks' leave over Christmas anyway and I'm sure everyone thinks I've eaten too much and had a boob job in my time off!

At the time I've found it trying, I'm hoping that I will be able to look back and laugh soon.

I can't tell my boss' PA, I'm the CEO's PA so I'd have to give myself a good talking to about confidentiality! :rotfl:

afoolandhermoney

Friday afternoon I get a call that OH had wrapped his van around a tree (he's ok, van's a total write off), so spent Saturday rushing around finding a replacement vehicle. Could have done without the stress, or the financial hit. Can't tell anyone at work why its such a problem either.

OH is also on about cancelling our July holiday (only just booked before I found out we were expecting) as we can't afford that, a new van and the baby (on top of needing to replace my little three door car with a five door so we can actually get a car seat in it). I know he's just being sensible, but as we don't need to pay the balance on the holiday until May, l I'm sure we can get ourselves on track by then - and if not we'll only lose the deposit at that point. I'd rather make a decision on it nearer the time.

millysg1

Oh dear, I’m so glad your OH is alright.
What a terrible weekend though.

Baby’s don’t have to be too expensive. You can get all the brand new top end items but there are so many high quality, hardly used, second hand items out there. Especially for the items they grow out of within 6 months. You can spend as little or as much as you like. Going on maternity leave was the biggest hit to our finances.

I like to have all the numbers in front of me when I’m budgeting. Have you thought to list out everything your going to need to spend in the next 6 months and how much savings you think you’ll save up? Some tangible nu,bears to compare always help me to make these decisions.

Also, could you compromise on the holiday, cancel it but book a cheaper one? Do you have to go in July? Could you book something earlier and therefore cheaper out of the high season. Also, if you are going somewhere hot, being 7 months pregnant in 30 degrees + temperature won’t be very comfortable.

Just an idea!

Dot.1991

Sorry about the van afool, that’s the last thing you needed! Glad OH is ok.
If it makes you feel any better I’m keeping my 3 door (I can’t afford to change it either) I’m sure il manage lots of people have in the past and I’m sure some prams will fit.

I agree with milly you can spend as much or as little as you want and there are so many things going second hand that often have barely been used. I want one of the next2me cribs but no way spending 150, lots go on Facebook or Spock for around 50/60. I’ve also already bought my furniture (a gift from my nannan) I know it’s early but a colleague was selling it, it’s mamas and papas and cost her over £800, she sold it me for £150 with the mattress too which I said yes to again just incase we don’t manage to buy one. It’s just about been savvy! We have saved but don’t have a huge amount and my work don’t do any extra maternity pay so il end up on the £140 odd a week. It’s going to be tough but I think we will manage for around 10 months
I would try and keep your holiday if you can it’ll be the last one as the 2 of you. I booked mine a while back (go in 3 weeks) and saw it as our last before have baby whether pregnant at the time or not, it’ll be nice to have a break Xxx

FreddieFrugal

We managed with DS in a Fiat 500!

Obviously just for short trips, but we used it a lot.

Just changed it now because we'll have 2 in tow.


Agreed - babies don't have to cost much in purchases. Biggest cost is dropping to maternity pay ... And formula if you have to use it!

Dot.1991

That’s good to know Freddie, I wouldn’t be doing any big trips and we do have OH car that can use on a weekend which is a touran so plenty big enough!

The maternity pay is definitely going to be tough! I’m planning on keeping my savings separate and each month transferring an amount to my current account so that I don’t end up using it all too quickly xx

afoolandhermoney

Thanks everyone.

It is the drop in my income on maternity leave (and then the cost of childcare!!) that are the biggest costs for us. I've worked out that if I take 6 months leave we only need to save about £2k to cover the shortfall (and may not need all of that, depending on what we can cut back on - that figure is keeping all our outgoings at the current level), and had thought a figure of around £1500 for baby stuff. It was going to be easy to save that over a year, now I have less than 9 months I just need to prioritize some other stuff, and probably get a lot more 2nd hand than I might have liked. Unfortunately I have no grandparents left to help out and I'm not close to my parents (OH's mum is also struggling on her own with just her pension so I can't ask for help from her - though I'm sure she'll want to)

Good to know how others have managed in three door cars - I'm just worried how I'll manage leaning in the back with a car seat - I can barely manage if I have to stick my handbag or some shopping on the back seat (and I don't normally mind if I clunk that against the door getting it out!)

The holiday we've booked is for the first week of the tour de france so no chance of moving that (we could maybe cancel and go somewhere cheaper / cooler though) - it would be a shame not to go as it'll be our first "proper" holiday since our honeymoon and the last holiday just the two of us for a long time. Its a bit of a dream of OH's too as he's a mad cycling fan - I was just looking forward to some stinky cheeses and red wine.

FreddieFrugal

Fool

Our outgoings actually dropped considerably after having the baby.

I'd worked out from my budget spreadsheet that by the end of maternity leave we'd roughly break even and have the same amount in the bank as at the start without any additional saving.

In reality we had several thousand more in the bank than at the start.

Less travelling at weekends, no driving to work for OH, far less eating out etc. And baby stuff didn't cost anywhere near as much as I thought it would.

We were lucky though that OH gets relatively generous OMP on top of the SMP.



With regard to the back seat issue.

We had nightmares early on because we'd put him on back seat, arrived at destination to find only cramped parking spaces and couldn't get him out again.

I had to climb in and pull him out through the boot!!


In the end, we drove with the front passenger air bag deactivated and him in the front seat. Was much easier to load and unload and left the rear seats and the boot free to put the pram and other junk. I was happy doing that just for short trips around town. Wouldn't have for longer journeys at speed as obviously safest place is in the back.

Also it's really distracting having this adorable little face gazing lovingly at you from the passenger seat!

Like dot. we used my car for longer journeys as its much bigger.

jg31984

Longtime lurker :hello: my little girl is one soon but seen the posts above talking about money and cars. Freddie is spot on - my outgoings also dropped while on maternity leave. I had more time to cook fresh (and cheaper), sort bills and banking while baby slept and baby activities weren’t as expensive as they could be, e.g. our local community centre offers classes free such as baby massage, sensory, etc. Also walking more with the Pram and less driving everywhere.

I have a 3 door fiesta with bulky front sports seats so not easy to get a baby seat in the back but I managed fine. Definitely look at using an isofix for easiness but check sizes as the maxi cosi ones are quite bulky (I used Recaro which isn’t as deep). Second hand is good but I would draw the line with mattresses and car seats, purely for safety reasons. Can save a fortune with second hand prams though as most people switch to a buggy pretty quickly.

Hope this helps someone

afoolandhermoney

Thanks Freddie and jg, we already cook from scratch most nights (only occasional packaged sauces and very very rare takeaway - OH is coeliac and that restricts what we can get, plus we're 6 miles from the nearest takeaway living out in the sticks)
re: baby activities, I don't expect there'll be much around here (the average age in our village is over 60 as so many retire here so there's not many new mums) and it will all involve a drive to the nearest town, but it should still mean less use of the car than my daily commute, I'm hoping that the reduced petrol costs will at least counterbalance the extra heating costs with me home more of the day through the winter.
Putting baby on the front seat for shorter journeys might be a plan (don't have the option of using OH's vehicle as that's just a two seater van).
My car doesn't have isofix at the moment which is another reason for thinking of replacing it - I have seen that you can get kits to retrofit it though so if nothing turns up in the next couple of months I think we'll try that. We had been planning on replacing the car and going back to an estate in a year anyway, we just might bring the plan forward a bit.