Less than 12 weeks pregnant club! Part 4!!

Pidge_jen

Hi all,
After a bit of advice. Hubby has said tonight he's feeling a bit left out. Mum got completely carried away at the weekend and bought baby clothes, first toy, and booked us a 4d scan without asking us. She's doing it to be generous but she booked the scan when we are away with the in laws (she knew the trip was planned for mum in laws 60th), then had a bit of a pop cos we had plans as apparently that's the best week for a 4d scan. She did apologise after.
I didn't really want to plan anything that far ahead, particularly when I'm only 10 weeks! Hubby basically feels a bit hurt cos it's her (with me along for the ride though mainly trying to limit her spending!) picking all the things he thought he would pick with me, like first clothes and toy and stuff. Mum loves to be prepared and is already on at us to let her buy the cot etc. I'm really grateful for her help but I don't know how to tell her to back off a bit cos we are both finding it all a bit overwhelming and a bit much before the first scan. Any ideas? It's her first grandchild as well. Mum has a bit of a track record for racing out and buying things and thinking later 😬

penguingirl

April I'm so glad your scan went well, so strange that you're 2 weeks behind me when we got our BFPs so close.

Pidge_jen- how blunt can you be with your mum? Ours is my mum's first grandchild too and she is super excited, but she also knows she can't interfere much. Can you just be honest with her? Explain you know that she's excited and wants to support you, and you are grateful for that, but that you also need to adjust it to as a couple and need to do some of this stuff together?

cats2012

Pidge_jen we had to be like this with OH mum. We just had to be blunt.

We found it helped to set an actual deadline - i.e. In our case we said we're not willing to even talk about buying stuff til after 20 week scan and even then we will tell you when we're ready (we're still not at 24!!). She seemed a bit hurt but then apologised to my OH a couple of days later saying she was sorry she'd got carried away.

april87

Yeah Penguin, I'm not 100% convinced by my due date, but hey ho not much can be done about that.

Ah Pidge I can understand your OH feeling a bit left out, can you just explain to your mum that yes, shes excited but you and the OH would like to be the ones to do these wee firsts. Just explain that you feel overwhelmed by it all, and as you say you are 10 weeks you would just like to get the 12 weeks scan etc out the way before you start planning ahead? I told my sister yesterday and shes super excited even though she already has a niece/nephews. She was talking about oh I can't wait to go buy stuff, I'll come shopping with you. Had to tell her, that we would like her to wait till 20 weeks atleast.

Yeah Poodle, even though its only a few days it feels weird that its now a June baby and not a May baby haha. Does mean now I have a potential birthday in June and potentially less in May which I guess is a bonus.

snowscreamer

Feeling a bit sorry for myself today. Just as the morning sickness and indigestion have been gradually settling down I have managed to pick up a cold. Absolutely typical! Last couple of days was sore throat and dry mouth which I could cope with (and sort of glad it's part of a cold and not yet another pregnancy symptom!). Since yesterday evening the back of my throat started feeling less dry and turned instead into a snot factory. Could barely breathe by bedtime and now today feeling so grotty and bunged up. Couldn't face work with barely any voice etc so cried off. Final decision to stay home was when brushing my teeth caused me to throw up again - suspect didn't eat my biscuit in bed early enough to settle the morning sickness as I was thinking about the cold.

Anyone else picked up any winter bugs? Really hoping this is just a cold and won't morph into the vomiting and coughing up blood 4-day virus that 2 of my close colleagues have had!! Don't think they were bunged up though so hopefully...

firebird082

Pidge, like everyone else, I think you really need to be blunt with your Mum - sit her down and say that's it's your first child, and your special time, and could she possibly restrain herself until, say, 24 weeks at least. I'd be pretty annoyed if my Mum did all that without even asking us... After all, it's Hubby's child as well, not just yours!

Snowscreamer - sorry to hear you're feeling filthy again. Definitely stay off work as long as you need and take care of yourself (and baby!).

My Mum meanwhile is asking whether she's allowed to mention the pregnancy in her Christmas letter! I said not until after the scan, but that's a bit late...I said I'll ask the midwife if we can get the scan in quickly for Mum's benefit. Imagine she'll just laugh at me

cats2012

Snowscreamer I've had a horrendous cold the last 4 days, back in work today after 2 days off. I swear I miss cold medicine far more than I miss alcohol!!

sweetbabu

Congratulations and welcome, Cherry!

Pidge, I'd be so annoyed if that were my mum (she's so, so good hearted but bloody minded with it and won't be put off if it's something she wants! That's kinda why my daughter ended up Christened, and in the way that she was. I had a party that I didn't particularly want, and I hated the food. The caterers were awful :undecided). It's lovely that she wants to be involved and help with the costs, but she has sort of barged in

I really don't know what to say, other than sit her down and attempt to explain to her that you appreciate that she is very excited as this is her first grandchild, but it's also you and your husband's first child and that you wanted to be able to go and choose some of the firsts yourselves. I also like the idea to wait until you're x weeks before you buy anything.

Snow, you poor thing - you seem to have had it really bad

We had our scan today. We actually got pushed back slightly as well, so I'm 11 weeks today and now have a due date of 14th June. Oh my good lord, it was amazing seeing this little being (thankfully, after OH's teasing, there WAS only one! :rotfl:) lying on screen, chin tucked into their chest and little heart beating away. The sonographer said that the baby was in the perfect position to do the down's test but, sadly, we were a day or two too early so we've to go back next Friday now.

We're going out for dinner tomorrow and then we're telling our daughter. I can't wait to see her face! Although, she came into our bed for a cuddle this morning and asked "when you're pregnant, how does the baby come out? Does your belly get all cut up and open or does it come out somewhere else?". I swear to god, I could strangle her father - that's what he told her when she was about four :eek::mad:

We're telling my OH's parents on Saturday when they come over for lunch. His mum has been not so much hinting at him as telling him she didn't want to wait too long for another grandchild almost since we met, so I expect there may be tears

newthrift

April & sweetbabu glad the scans went well.

Pidge as others have said I think you need to be as blunt as possible without upsetting your mum. I would personally be quite annoyed too as it's an exciting time for you also. Hope the chat goes ok xx

Welcome CherryGale

I have my booking in tomorrow morning with the midwife and quite excited, going to be booking the scan I think too, which hopefully will only be couple of weeks away!

penguingirl

Glad the scan went well sweetbabu.

Good luck for the booking appointment Newthrift and I hope your scan is soon!