Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

Crude, swearing, he was not. Only lashed out name calling when hurt, and angry.
But the out downs were subtle, and I'm not sure he ever realised he was doing that. But my confidence is back, and I'm not bothered anymore. I know who I am, and what I am or am not!
I'm moving on, with or without him as a friend in my life, time will tell.

duchy

No you are wrong. He doesn't need to change. Mooloo needs to ...and is modifying her reaction to him. We can't change people but we can choose whether we enable the behaviour or not.

If he then chooses to respond to Mooloo with the new boundaries she has set then it's all good but his behaviour either way is not the driving dynamic which is healthier for both of them.

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I don't see Mooloo's ex as a monster, but I do see him as someone who needs to change the way he treats either her or women in general - I have no idea which it is.

We've all come across people who can't seem to speak without using a four letter word. I couldn't be close to someone like that. We've all come across people who tell crude jokes and think it's funny to put people down. I couldn't be close to someone like that.

Savvy_sewing

I am getting a bit fed up of talking about him.
Please, can we just drop the subject now.
It's like trying to flog a dead horse.
Yes I am on an emotional roller coaster in my head.
But I feel that neither the fact that he is talking, or the fact that I am growing stronger had really been picked up on.
He is there, I am here.
I am now trying to build on my plans, and if we keep going backwards- analysing it over and over again, I am not being allowed to move on.
Nothing has happened in several days. So why is he still no one topic?
The problems of twin2 going missing seemed more important this week if anything. Although she was found. But again is erratic and not going home.
The police were looking for her today.
Her landlady rang me. Although she had told her she was staying out yesterday. But why are the police looking for her?
I'm thinking that the Social Services, who had a duty of care are suddenly panicking that she is gone. ( took them long enough to respond to her going if it is!).
Twin1's pregnancy scare was just that! Relief here in droves.
I've spent the weekend sewing, and sorting out my wardrobe, thining it down, as I had far too many clothes.

I think some I shall upcycle others sell on Facebook or eBay.
I've been trying to sort out changes to my website, unsuccessfully, it needs a lot more attention.
We have 17 more sleeps till out holidays, and I have approx £300 to find before it is cash Neutral.
So I am still very much on a mission.
Time to cook tea.

grey_lady

Oh dear enough said then about bf - we're all being armchair psychologists. Why were the police looking for twin2, did her new landlady panic when she didn't come home? Is she enjoying Cornwell? it must be a big and brave change really to leave everything and everyone you know.

Lozzy88

Is twin 2 found now? That must be a huge worry for you (as if you need another one!)

Very impressed you didn't give in to her Landladys request for top up cash

Cant remember reading about twin1s possible pregnancy! Very glad it was a false alarm.

I hope you find a way to relax tonight

Savvy_sewing

Maybe I didn't post about twin1, as every time I logged on there was more about BF, and I rarely read back, it's usually a post about that exact time, moments etc in my life.
Twin1 thought she was pregnant last weekend. My heart was in my mouth as the repercussions would have been huge.
I don't know if twin2 is home, as I do not want to be on her back every few days. Her landlady seems to be over zealous at the moment, but that may not be a bad thing.
The landlady didn't call them, they surprised her when they knocked on the door, and that makes me think that Social Services were the ones looking for her, but it's only a theory.

Savvy_sewing

Hopefully today will be a bit more of a normal day.
I have been awake about an hour, drank my first cup of tea, read my emails, checked my bank balances etc, and am dressed and the pack ups done.
Just savouring the piece before I have to wake up DGD.
Yesterday I had a blitz of my wardrobe, but still only managed to clear out three bags full. ( I also still have a full wardrobe????).
Only about a handful of items are made by me! That's got to change, especially as I have mountains of fabric.
I have put about a dozen items to upcycle, and work on.
I tried on a lot of my things, as I have slowly been putting on weight this last two years, and so some old favourites had to go, as I doubt I will ever be so skinny again.
Twin1 is planning on having DGD again next weekend, as the fair is going to be in town, so I will give her a few quid to take her. I don't expect her to use her JSA on DGD.
I have worked through a pile of alterations for customers, and it's time to call a few in for fittings, so I will need to have a bit of a blitz in my work room, as yesterday while sorting my wardrobe I was putting fabrics etc through as well, so after work I know where I am going to be.

Hoping no news is good news about twin2.

Savvy_sewing

Twin2 is fine.
I took trims and elastic into work today, and was able to create quite a few different garments, so feeling happier. They have a tailors dummy on order for me, and also a new ironing board, so hopefully I will be up and running properly again there soon.
Working at home is picking up, and hopefully I am going to continue to build.
I am £190 short of having turned my holiday into a cash Nuteral one, with a few sewing jobs, sales of thermal bags and clothes etc, so hoping to increase my income before the credit card bill actually arrives. Really pleased with it all. Especially as I had done much less at work these past few weeks.
Biggest of Mooloos moves house tomorrow. I will have both girls tomorrow.
I have two customers booked in tomorrow. So things are looking up.

Savvy_sewing

Morning, I've been awake about an hour, surfing the net, reading inspirational posts on spending less etc, and drinking my first cup of tea in bed. I have a lot to do today, one of my friends is comping over straight after the school run, and we are continuing to blitz, for two hours on a Tuesday, we both work together, and get the place ship shape, and then conquer an area, cupboard or what ever it is that may be needed.
Today it's DGDs room, to make the bunk beds up, so DGD2 can fit in, and then there is a dumping ground in my bedroom to tackle. It's where I dump everything from ironing, to sewing fabrics and surplus bedding and it's become a mountain! So it's got to get done.
I also have a customer at 12.30, so a quick tidy in the workroom ( as I started to move fabrics etc into there when tackling my wardrobe on Sunday). Then another customer at 4.30, with work to finish inbetween, and DGD2 to collect, etc
So the morning has well and truely started and it's time for me to launch myself into the day.

Savvy_sewing

Been on the go, yet don't feel as if I have achieved that much.
School run, two hours blitz, photographing some clothes to sell on the Bootsale on line, the 12.30 customer didn't turn up, or tell me she wasn't coming, so I hung around for ages when I could have been sewing ( but can't hear the door if I'm sewing!), so worked on the website, ( still can't shrink my pictures? Stopped to go and cut Dads lawn, and then collect DGD2, back for the 4.30 fitting, then out again at 5.15 to collect DGD1, and now we are filling the paddling pool and they are playing nicely while I put the sausages in the oven.
Bar cooking dinner i suppose it will be all child orientated this evening, and I will be going to bed as early as I can get away with. My back aches from mowing, driving, and pumping up the pool!
No actual extra income today. But the potential too add to my income soon with another booking for a quote for some soft furnishings.
( not my favourite thing, but it's a reference so I feel obliged to go and see, and quote.
Slowly reclaiming parts of my bedroom is a bonus though.