Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

I took a photo of the bedrooms, but I never did downstairs. I think I just had to get out of there. It was horrible. And yes I know she turned the Carers away at times, but I feel it was still bad that they didn't keep going and trying to get her to engage.
But as she is my daughter I feel I should have done more. But I just couldn't.

thorsoak

Trouble is MooLoo, although the carers know that she needed help, they have to abide by their rules, which are that they can only OFFER help, they cannot instigate it. A friend of mine works as a community support worker with young people who have learning difficulties or disabilities, and although he can see that help is needed, and will say "oh why don't we get this washing up cleared away" if the client says no, not now, he cannot do it - all he can do is register it in the client's log book. Sometimes he will be refused entry and the only time that he call for extra backup is if he thinks that there is a medical emergency. If the client doesn't want to go shopping, or has no money with which to shop, then all he can do is register that fact. It is as frustrating for the care worker as it is for the family of the client at times ...maybe we have gone too far with respecting people's liberties.

Savvy_sewing

The system is wrong. But I can't fix it.
That's what breaks my heart.
I can't do it all, I can't do anything, just sit by and watch them destroy their lives- and disrupt those around them.
I want today to be over, to wake up stronger tomorrow, and to loose this feeling of sadness and a sort of mourning.

Errata

Unfortunately the system doesn't have a bottomless pit of money, so funding has to be prioritised. If those with capacity ignore / refuse help funding quite rightly is targeted on those who value and need help.
It must be incredibly distressing for you, but the real world is what it is, not what we may feel it should be.

Savvy_sewing

Which is brutal. It's gut wrenching to see them destroy them selves.
I am powerless to do anything, and I am frustrated that when they were living at home, social encouraged them to leave home, when I knew they wouldn't cope. but still they knew best and I was protecting them too much.

duchy

I don't think there is any benefit in looking backwards...... You need to look forwards and work out how you can support her by supporting the services she is offered. Bottom line is (and I say this as the parent of a young man who has ASD and struggles -in different ways but can't do without my support -and I'm burned out with it all) one day you won't be around or won't be physically able to help her so there is a need to wean them onto accepting other forms of support. They will fall at times- but we all learn more from our mistakes that from our successes.

Take it one day at a time ....and stop trying to fix everyone and just offer support and wisdom where you can <hugs>

minimoneysaver

Was the state of the place the reason she ran away? It's not a good situation, but I'm sure they have had to deal with worse. Did she have any pets there?

I agree with others over the bag. There are many things that I would like and can't afford. I have a few choices. I have to save up though to be able to get the things that I want and I am sure that the woman can sell her things to buy one at your set price. £30 sounds cheap for one. Are you sure that you are making sufficient profit to cover your time, electricity and materials?

grey_lady

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best with twin 2. I hope something good is heading her way.

Savvy_sewing

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Was the state of the place the reason she ran away? It's not a good situation, but I'm sure they have had to deal with worse. Did she have any pets there?

I agree with others over the bag. There are many things that I would like and can't afford. I have a few choices. I have to save up though to be able to get the things that I want and I am sure that the woman can sell her things to buy one at your set price. £30 sounds cheap for one. Are you sure that you are making sufficient profit to cover your time, electricity and materials?

It covers the time, really. The materials are what I have lurking in my stash. Some of it from Donated duvets. But if I had to go and buy the fabrics then they would need to be about £45
However I am happy enough to launch with £30 plus postage.
If I can get my head down and focus.
I have suggested to the lady in question that she sets up a Facebook page with her makes and sells them. She did send me pictures of some crochet blankets, but I don't have a need for them. So she will have to wait a bit longer. It may mean she goes elsewhere, but I won't be out of pocket, or be left with something I cannot use.

No there were no pets in the house.
Just people who can't look after themselves. And who were generally a bit dysfunctional.
I've bashed my diary. I've given myself a pep talk, and I'm having an early night, to regroup, and come out stronger in the morning and be ready to move forward. ( I hope).
What is done is done and cannot be undone. But choosing what we do from here on in is important, so I choose to spend a little time keeping the house sorted, taking DGD to the park, and then continue sorting the workspace and my clothes mountain.
Somewhere under there is a bedroom!
Thanks for all the input everyone. It really helps me to cope, and to let off steam etc. Rather a roller coaster of emotions this last few days.
As far as I can tell Twin2 has a roof over her head, and is hopefully with someone who can encourage her to sort herself out.
(Till she wears them out too!).

Savvy_sewing

Good morning, from another wet n grey start here.
I've been awake about an hour, something woke me, but I'm not sure what. DGD has just woken now, knocked to say good morning, and borrow the kindle! That girl watches TV films etc and plays games on it.
I slept reasonably well, not quite full of the joys of spring, but feeling calmer then I was yesterday.
Perhaps I will be feeling better when the sun starts to shine again.
Come on Sun show your face today and lift up the nation!
I am hoping one of my friends husbands is going to pop over later today to measure up for shelving in my workroom. So I can get the stash organised, and catalogued. It will save me hours of searching for stuff, and coming across stuff I had forgotten I had!