Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

Errata wrote: »

Your life and your choices. A furnished flat with power, heating, water rates and council tax included in the £100pw rent sounds like a fantasy and may be on the net to suck people in who will find when they enquire "sorry, it's gone".

I have told DS to be very careful, and I hope that he will be. I am waiting to get a viewing organised.
I am worried, as I am using Dads money, and that worries me.
But we will just have to see.

twin1, has just let DGD down. She was supposed to have her for the weekend, but once again she says she is sick. So fed up, as I don't think we can go to BFs as his eldest son has come home, so nowhere for DGD to sleep.
Story of my life!

The housework is getting there, I now have the downstairs all back in control, next week it's the bedrooms.

This afternoon I am going to work in my workroom.

Errata

I think you'r right to be concerned about a flat. Your DS has no credit rating, a NMW job he's been in for only a short time, can only pay the deposit and first month's rent if it's given to him by his grandad. This is usually the situation where the LA requires a guarantor for the rent.
Whilst I appreciate that somewhere like Kettering has 1 bed flats for c£75/80 pw, £25 difference in rent won't cover all the weekly CT/WR/utilities costs for two people. Please, please do some deep diving to uncover all the weekly costs and what control your DS will be given over them.
I'm sure every 21year old would like a flat of their own, but sometimes their eyes are bigger than their wallets.

Can't you invite the Boyfie to yours for the weekend? You could enjoy not having all the upheaval of spending two days at his and DGD could play with her little local friends.

Savvy_sewing

DGD isn't old enough to go out and about on her own, so she won't be playing with her friends at the weekend. Bit late notice to organise anything with other parents. BF has said he will come here tomorrow. Afternoon, as he's laying a paving ready for his arbour. I was looking forward to some adult time, going out to a restaurant or pub. BF won't take DGD to either of those unless were away on holiday. Even then that's rare. We tend to eat in.
I'm miffed, but DGD is going to be very upset with her mum who keeps letting her down.
I'm just having a cup of tea before I go and get her from afterschool club. Dreading the scene when I tell her.

Errata

Just explain to DGD her mum is too poorly to have her, and help her to understand by reminding her she was too poorly to go to school just a while back. Give her a treat to distract her from kicking off about it.
Have I missed something? Is there any reason why DS can't house sit for his grandparents whilst they're away for the summer? It would give him a chance to save a fair bit of money and try out if living with a girl will work out.

thorsoak

Errata wrote: »

Just explain to DGD her mum is too poorly to have her, and help her to understand by reminding her she was too poorly to go to school just a while back. Give her a treat to distract her from kicking off about it.
Have I missed something? Is there any reason why DS can't house sit for his grandparents whilst they're away for the summer? It would give him a chance to save a fair bit of money and try out if living with a girl will work out.

Now that might be an idea ....unless you are afraid that he would trash the place? In which case, I'd be afraid that he'd trash a flat too!

Savvy_sewing

Parents won't let anyone stay. Very private and personal space at their age. Don't like sharing a bed with anyone. ( hence they take their caravan and sleep in that).
DS did stop there one year a few years ago, when we lived in the village, without permission and Dad was very upset. So it's a no go.

As predicted we had a bit if a melt down at the news mummy was sick, (again). Same happened two weeks ago remember.
It's a load I'd cobblers and DGD is not stupid, she knows.
Anyway we have side tracked her with some coke, sweets and lasagne for dinner. But she is Sad granny! Why doesn't Mummy want me? She's always sick.

candlelight_2013

Oh bless her, what a good thing she has you. The trouble is she will probably remember all these broken promises and could very well affect her relationship with her Mummy when she is older.

Candlelightx

haybel19

Hey Mooloo been following your thread all year so far and cheering you on.


I've tried reading back some of the old threads as there are sometimes things I don't follow - Is there any chance of a quick summary of your life/family so that I can keep up?


I am a fellow crafter although I am a papercrafter predominately cards and 3d projects and I am very lucky and regularly write articles. Is this something you could consider? If you design your own projects/patterns you could always send some examples in to some of the sewing related mags and see what happens? That's how I got started. Also some of the crafts mags have competitions where you design and make something to a brief and there are often fab prizes. I was lucky and won a few competitions before I started out as a freelance designer.


As well as the articles I also have my own facebook page selling papercraft gift and wedding items. Have you got a page? Also you may already do this but have you got an ETSY or Folksy shop? These are fab if you don't have or want your own webpage. Hope you don't mind the suggestions/ideas they may well be things you are doing or have considered anyway.

Savvy_sewing

heybel19, thanks for your comments. I have been writing a thread on MSE since 2007, I think.
There would be so much info since then that it would be a long short story!
Basically after loosing my business to Bankrupcy, I ended up in a 2 bed roomed flat in Oxford with my Son, then still at school. I was lucky to get a managers job with a charity shop. My eldest daughter and twin 1, lived up in Derbyshire where we were based before, and twin2, was in a hostel in Oxford.
Both twins have ADHD, Dyslexia, dyspraxia, and mild Autism. They are vulnerable young ladies. And people are prone to pray on that and take advantage. I wanted them to stay at home with me, but Social Services had other ideas.
First Twin1 fell pregnant, and came home. DGD was born October 2007. So twin1 had my room for her and DGD, and my bed was in the sitting room. Meanwhile twin2, got involved with a drug addicted scitsophrenic, she also became pregnant, but Social Services deemed them unfit to have baby unless she left him and lived with me. So that made two mums and two babies back home.
So the help needed etc was sparse and I turned to the MSE community to help me. Which I have been lucky enough to have had masses of help and support.
I post about our life, the challenges that we have.
Along the line we moved to bigger rented accommodation, and came back to the area my parents live in, and my eldest - biggest of Mooloo- also moved back down here.
When the babies were about 18 months old the teenage support team intervened and persuaded the twins to leave home. With disasterous consequences.
DGD was brought to me, taken away from her Mum the nob she was2.
She has lived with me ever since.
Twin2 had another disasterous relationship and immediately fell pregnant again. Having her son the following January, but again social deemed the father unfit, and removed him from the home, two weeks later, after moving her into her house they took the boys off of her.
They brought them to me, by this time I was seriously ill, and couldn't cope with three under three, in a stone cottage, open fires, in the middle of nowhere. So after two days I had to admit defeat and the boys went into foster care. Then up for adoption 2 years ago.
Both twins still have seperately homes with mixed disasterous episodes.
Twin 2 changes BFs like the weather. Twin 1 is in a long distance relationship which is a bit more stable.
Meanwhile DS grew up, getting into trouble, and basically giving me varying degrees of grief.
biggest if Mooloo was in a relationship, got engaged, had a baby, and he left her, but she is now happy living with a new partner. DGD2, is 3 next week, Biggest has a new job and I help with dGD2 a few days a week.
During all of this I have fought my health, got on top of it, and got myself back to work by working for myself.
I have opened a website, and Etsy shops, but they are currently not stocked, as I have spent most of the time making things for the recycle centre, and a few personal makes.
I hope as DGD gets older, I will increase my work, however with all the problems of the complicated dynamics of the family, my time is seriously impacted on.
My BF of nearly 10 years is not always able to understand or cope with my world, so we have broken up several times, sometimes twice in a year, but usually he comes back when he's calmed down.
Hence we live seperately still.
So I divide my time between his and mine.

Hope that helps?

duchy

Gosh is it really 7 years Mooloo ?
So much has changed over that time, for so many people.