Maintenance payments after 18 years old

FBaby

You said she visited during holidays, does this mean that her dad moved away at some point? Why?

It is difficult to maintain a good relationship with a teenager when you only see them 3 or 4 times a year. There's already a gap created between resident parents and their teenage kids but at least they have every day commonality to keep communication opened. Do you have more children who live with you? If so, it would be very easy that she would have felt that she didn't belong, even if you made her feel welcome and this negative feelings would have made her not wanting to bother with all the travelling.

In the end, whatever happened, it was for her dad to get to the bottom of it and make changes. He didn't and she probably resents him for not doing so. In her still emotionally immature mind, she probably clock it all by thinking that he clearly wasn't bothered and didn't miss her, so he can't really be loving her. Presents for Christmas? She probably sees it has him trying to buy her with gifts.

I can't remember the name of the poster last page who wrote a fantastic post about how she felt when she was put into that this situation and I totally agree with her that if your husband decides to stop the money, it will only give her more ammunition and confirmation of how she currently feels, whilst continuing to pay will show some sacrifices on his part beyond what he has to do. It might take her to grow up still a bit before she realises that, but if he does love his daughter, surely it is a sacrifice worth making for rebuilding a relationship with his daughter.

Children a re not so until 18yo only. You have can a wonderful deep relationship with a child when you had none with them as a child. So far, he has lost out of 5 years, yet he could still gain many wonderful years to share with her.

valkirn

Edwardia wrote: »

My view on this, is that if the CSA had been involved from the beginning, the ex-wife would not have been able to marginalise the child's father. He would have gotten access, been able to insist on visitation rights and prove himself a loving caring father. It's likely that the ex-wife has poisoned his daughter against him

We have CSA involved and my oh has still been marginalised to the point he hasn't seen his youngest daughter to his ex wife since she was a year old, she is now 9.
we have been to court so many times because she keeps going back on whats been ordered we are supposed to have the girls every other weekend and some holidays but she just ups and vanishes and it all starts again.
My oh has stepped away now and hopes his girls will come looking for him one day as the only step we have left is the an arrest warrent for her being in comtempt and that will leave the girls bewildered and confused so he wont do it.

Im not going to put what i think as he knows how i feel about it all.