OH doesn't want to socialise at Christmas (or anytime)

paulineb_2

From the Op's earlier thread

Doesnt really sound healthy does it?

paulineb_2

On the surface of it, she sounds like a hyper critical nightmare

Now, there are probably things the OP does wrong, but as I said earlier, thats where professional help comes in

I just dont think her objections to the boxing day visit is about this and this only

She seems to wear the trousers and that is it.

As I said, they can trundle on like this for the next 20-30 years

Or, they can get some help.

Tiglath

I've not read any of your other threads but I gather you've been off work for a while. I'm assuming you've spent most of that time in the house - maybe your OH would like to spend some time at home alone? I'm an introvert and I love it when my DH goes out and I get a few hours on my own in my own surroundings. I'm positively ecstatic on the rare occasions he goes away camping and I get a whole 48 hours of solitude!

jellyhead

scooby088 wrote: »

Why do all these threads end up with the advice end the relationship? Glad that I never post here about mine.

Me too :rotfl:

I'd only post something if I was in a grump, and it wouldn't be representative of our relationship at all.

To be fair though, OP did say he was thinking of ending it all (the marriage, I presume?).

I'm a hermit and my husband is more outgoing than I am - once he realised that when I tell him to go out without me and enjoy himself I do actually mean that, and won't sulk afterwards because he 'chose somebody else over me' he started to go out without me sometimes. He loves it, and I love not having to go with him :T

Andy I think you should arrange to go to their house or meet them somewhere instead. You could pretend your wife's not been feeling well if it makes things easier.

As for those saying that checking with the OH means asking permission - it certainly doesn't in our house. It means checking that nothing else has been organised that would clash. I thought that's what Andy had meant, that he would check whether they were already busy or not - NOT that he needed to ask permission.

Dunroamin

paulineb wrote: »

I did read those

I think it could be argued that they were being unreasonable in their demands

So everybody surrounding the OP is being unreasonable and he's faultless? Sounds unlikely to me, particularly reading this thread.

Dunroamin

paulineb wrote: »

From the Op's earlier thread

Doesnt really sound healthy does it?

I think we all know how to click on links!

Dunroamin

paulineb wrote: »

On the surface of it, she sounds like a hyper critical nightmare

Now, there are probably things the OP does wrong, but as I said earlier, thats where professional help comes in

I just dont think her objections to the boxing day visit is about this and this only

She seems to wear the trousers and that is it.

As I said, they can trundle on like this for the next 20-30 years

Or, they can get some help.

I'm afraid it sounds to me as if the OP thinks he's doing her a great favour by doing all the domestic chores while she's at work.

Unless there were children involved, I wouldn't expect the person who was out working to do anything much on the domestic front while the other person was at home to do it.

"She wears the trousers" is an incredibly out dated and sexist thing to say about someone.

jacques_chirac

scooby088 wrote: »

Why do all these threads end up with the advice end the relationship? Glad that I never post here about mine.

That, and there is always the suggestion of 'abuse'. Is it that difficult to contemplate that two people simply rub each other up the wrong way?

Tiddlywinks

paulineb wrote: »

On the surface of it, she sounds like a hyper critical nightmare

Now, there are probably things the OP does wrong, but as I said earlier, thats where professional help comes in

I just dont think her objections to the boxing day visit is about this and this only

She seems to wear the trousers and that is it.

As I said, they can trundle on like this for the next 20-30 years

Or, they can get some help.

A trip back to the 1950s again... perhaps you'd recommend the OP give his Mrs a quick slap to teach her who's boss?

This is a partnership - OK it may not be working quite as it should be at the moment BUT equal partnerships in the 21st century don't have one person 'wearing the trousers'.

They need to talk. The OP needs to understand WHY his wife feels the way she does.

This isn't the first thread where you've suggested a marriage isn't working and asked how long the person should put up with it... you seem to dislike people suggesting that marriage might require effort sometimes.

What's wrong with people working at things and coming through the other side?

Pollycat

paulineb wrote: »

I really do think people need to read the OP's thread that I quoted

Yes, shes the one that works, but according to him she does nothing around the house

She criticises everything he does, she doesnt go out or like socialising and he feels like a prisoner in his own home

Not really much of a life from where Im sitting.

I think the bit in bold is the key part.

We are only reading one side of the story.