The little annoyances of Christmas

Person_one

Lieja wrote: »

My mother's insistence on me and OH arriving at her pre-defined Xmas dinner time, despite the fact he works nights and is having his daughter at our house from 11. Daughter's mum lives 20 mins in one direction, and my parents live another hour in the opposite direction. She wants dinner on the table at 2pm and she cannot even consider the possibility of being a bit flexible so we don't have a mad rush and OH's daughter can open her pressies without being pushed out the door. Or even flipping eat your dinner without us! Sheesh. Can you tell this has been an issue today?!

I'm also a bit annoyed that my parent's don't think to get even a little token gift for OH's daughter. I get that due to distance and the days we have her, my parents never really see her, and I know she doesn't care in the slightest about getting a gift from them as she has no real relationship with them, but I do think it would be a nice gesture for my OH if nobody else. Not that he's ever mentioned it, so I'm probably just having a huff with my mum today.

So they invite a child to their home on Christmas Day and don't get them even a token gift?

That's pretty mean, I wouldn't be in any hurry to go at all.

seven-day-weekend

I hate those Round Robin letters some people seem to delight in sending.

The reason I hate them is they are always boasting about achievements of their super-family. Never anything other than unqualified success. Never 'Jemima failed her GCSEs' or 'Oliver failed to make the First Eleven this year'. Ugh I hate them. .

Although we did get one this year where the son of the super-talented family has decided to do A levels in 'soft' subjects like meeja studies that are no use to man nor beast. What a relief

Icey77

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I hate those Round Robin letters some people seem to delight in sending.

The reason I hate them is they are always boasting about achievements of their super-family. Never anything other than unqualified success. Never 'Jemima failed her GCSEs' or 'Oliver failed to make the First Eleven this year'. Ugh I hate them. .

Although we did get one this year where the son of the super-talented family has decided to do A levels in 'soft' subjects like meeja studies that are no use to man nor beast. What a relief

Oh I don't know we received a round robin letter from DH's cousin in Australia where she detailed her youngest son losing his driving licence for 3 months as he was caught speeding 3 times whilst on probation ( I think new drivers have a probation period after passing their test).

I'm not sure I'd be pleased if my mum told everyone she knew around the world about that :rotfl:

onlyroz

I don't do Christmas cards - a waste of time, money and trees. What's wrong with saying Merry Christmas in person? The whole thing seems to be a competition over who can hang the most cards on their wall.

I also don't like the crazy shopping and parking in the "silly season". We rather misadvisedly went to Basingstoke yesterday. My husband is on crutches at the moment because he's just had a knee replacement and he was nearly knocked over a few times by people in far too much of a hurry to look where they're going.

seven-day-weekend

Homeagain wrote: »

The staff party. Nooooooooooo I just can't do it. Although I have really great colleagues I just can't do the silliness of it all. This year, I made no excuses (as in previous years), I 'came out' as it were and said that I am too shy, don't enjoy loud music, don't dance, can't afford it etc etc. I guarantee it will be the same next year.

I loathed the staff party when I was working. I would go for the Christmas lunch and then offer to go back to the office to 'man' the phones while everyone else got blotto and snogged other peoples' husbands/wives .

Lieja

Person_one wrote: »

So they invite a child to their home on Christmas Day and don't get them even a token gift?

That's pretty mean, I wouldn't be in any hurry to go at all.

Oh just to be clear - we take OH's daughter back to her mum's family before we go to my parents', hence the rush to get there for dinner time. Sorry that wasn't clear!

Person_one

Lieja wrote: »

Oh just to be clear - we take OH's daughter back to her mum's family before we go to my parents', hence the rush to get there for dinner time. Sorry that wasn't clear!

You get her at 11 and drop her back home in time for dinner at 2?

Lieja

Person_one wrote: »

You get her at 11 and drop her back home in time for dinner at 2?

Yep - well it'll be later than 2, that's just the time my mum's decided she wants us!

SD's mum isn't the easiest person to negotiate contact arrangements with, so 11-2 is probably the best we could hope for. She has the morning at mum's, round to grandma's for more presents, and then she comes to us. She has to be back to her grandma's for their Xmas dinner. My OH doesn't usually mind as long as she can have enough time here to have presents etc, and she enjoys Xmas with her cousins at grandma's so he's happy as long as she is.

I just get the distinct feeling that my family don't really see my OH as 'family' in the way I'd like. They do buy him a token gift which is nice, but for instance, my cousin is having a get together Xmas eve and my parents want me to go but no mention of OH. Same thing is happening for New Years when my bro's new girlfriend is coming up from Oxford with him to meet them. They want me to go, but no mention of OH. They just sort of assume he'll be at work. I've already decided I'm not driving down Xmas eve and Xmas day so they'll have to lump it!

My parents are quite old fashioned, and I sometimes wonder if its because OH and I aren't married (although we have been together for 4 years and lived together for 3), or if it's because he's 15 years older than me and has a child with someone else that maybe they don't 'approve' of?

I'm sure I just shouldn't let any of this get to me and just enjoy my Xmas with my lovely man and his lovely daughter, and paint my smile on for the few hours I'll have to.

Rant over!

Mojisola

Lieja wrote: »

My mother's insistence on me and OH arriving at her pre-defined Xmas dinner time, despite the fact he works nights and is having his daughter at our house from 11. Daughter's mum lives 20 mins in one direction, and my parents live another hour in the opposite direction. She wants dinner on the table at 2pm and she cannot even consider the possibility of being a bit flexible so we don't have a mad rush and OH's daughter can open her pressies without being pushed out the door. Or even flipping eat your dinner without us! Sheesh. Can you tell this has been an issue today?!

So why not say that you're having Christmas dinner at your own house after this year?

Set up a new tradition where you see your parents whenever it fits in with your OH's shifts.

Lieja

Mojisola wrote: »

So why not say that you're having Christmas dinner at your own house after this year?

Set up a new tradition where you see your parents whenever it fits in with your OH's shifts.

I think I decide on this every year but it never seems to work out that way! I always end up feeling incredibly guilty for some reason and then agreeing to go. This year was because my bro was in Afghanistan until November and my mum spent the majority of the year feeling very upset and lonely, and then when he was home her sister was diagnosed with leukaemia. It's hard to describe why exactly she would be lonely when she lives with her husband - they don't have any problems or anything - my OH would call them 'beige'. I don't remember them every really showing each other affection while I was growing up so I would imagine they're the same now, and as a result we aren't exactly a 'close' family. I don't see or speak to my bro for months on end! We've never fallen out, it's just how we are.

My mum's extended family are all very close and I know she would like us to be like that too, although it is her own behaviour that makes it difficult so it's a bit of a catch 22. She seems to make an effort and want us to be really close, and then sort of alienates OH at the same time.

I'll stay at home next year!!