No i am not seeing my family at Christmas !

onlyroz

Person_one wrote: »

Ok, but you not being able to drive is not something your relatives chose either!

I'm sure its frustrating having to rely on public transport and good will, but personally I think its a bit entitled to expect that an invite for Christmas has to include a door to door taxi service as well.

In my experience non-drivers are extremely adept at scrounging lifts off all and sundry.

JustKeepSwimming_2

onlyroz wrote: »

In my experience non-drivers are extremely adept at scrounging lifts off all and sundry.

Ouch that's a bit harsh. I'm a non driver (medically disqualified so hardly a choice before I get flamed). I hate having to rely on others to get me to places & often don't go out as public transport is laughable after 6pm, never mind thinking about going anywhere at Xmas!

On Sunday I'm going to visit family who are a 34 minute drive from my house - to get there I either take a cab to the train station or walk there (28 mins), "sit" on a train for 30 mins that will most likely be at least 15 mins late (& I use the word sit in the optimistic sense) then either get another cab or wait for a bus that may or may not turn up sometime within the next hour. If I get both cabs it will have cost me almost £28 with train fare (which is why I'll be walking, waiting & late :rotfl:)

Sorry, rant over. Not feeling very festive

OP - I never see my Mother at Xmas (& as few times as I can throughout the year as I do not get on with her at all). But all I've had from friends/work has been "Why aren't you going home for Xmas?" I do feel like I have to explain, but I lie & say she has other plans. Next year I think I'll follow the above examples & just say yes for a quiet life.

Reams

red_devil wrote: »

HI,

The thread for not seeing family over Christmas. Why do people assume everyone has perfect families who all meet up over Christmas. I know people mean well but I get asked are you seeing your family/your partners no we are not and I feel you have to explain?

What do you say to people?;)

Smile sweetly and say, "have a good Christmas."

bloolagoon

I'd reply with my OH - then list all the things you'd enjoy (no pressure, lazy mornings, quality time)

Sounds heavenly - though I'd never swap as have children I do crave that xmas morning sex and presents in bed!

paulineb_2

onlyroz wrote: »

In my experience non-drivers are extremely adept at scrounging lifts off all and sundry.

I never scrounge lifts from anyone. No one in my family drives. I get the bus or if theres no buses on, christmas day for example. I walk.

DigForVictory

I'm seeing my family, of course. My husband & children.

The rest I've visited, done the pretty, said all the social lies, fled home, unwrapped the presents while we still remembered which were whose & then had a whopping knackered row. See them again? This year? Please, no...

My in-laws on Boxing Day if we're all well enough. FiL has emphysema & a cold might be the last gift we give him. They're so laid back in comparison - it's a joy to go over! However, health means we're more likely to see them in the New Year.

Person_one

onlyroz wrote: »

In my experience non-drivers are extremely adept at scrounging lifts off all and sundry.

I don't generally mind giving people lifts, but I don't particularly like it when its taken for granted that I will or should!

For one thing, expecting to be driven back and forth on Christmas Day means someone has to avoid alcohol all day for you. I've done this in the past for elderly relatives but they were very gracious and didn't even ask.

marisco_2

Sadly many people seem to be oblivious to the fact that not everyone has a happy family network around them. I think these types can be even more blinkered to this reality at this time of the year, when programmes and adverts sell this idea of what should be a 'perfect Xmas'. Just say that you want to have a quiet time and have no set plans. Then turn the attention onto them and ask what they are up to. However you choose to spend it I hope you have a lovely time.

KxMx

Person_one wrote: »

I don't generally mind giving people lifts, but I don't particularly like it when its taken for granted that I will or should!

For one thing, expecting to be driven back and forth on Christmas Day means someone has to avoid alcohol all day for you. I've done this in the past for elderly relatives but they were very gracious and didn't even ask.

For my family that's a non-issue as everyone is practically teetotal. One driver never drinks, and the other drivers are in couples so take turns anyway. Alcohol consumption at family gatherings is also rare, usually tea, water, squash or lemonade.

I'm afraid I disagree that hoping for a lift from family once a year in order to spend time together at Christmas is too much or showing an attitude of entitlement.

But each to their own And I fully respect in my family that the drivers are free to do what they want, their car their prerogative etc. If I ever do get a lift from them or a friend-as I have on 3 occasions since Dec 2012 (1 I asked for from a friend and 2 were offered from a friend and a family member) I always offer petrol money and if I suspect they won't accept I get a gift instead.

Pollycat

red_devil wrote: »

HI,

The thread for not seeing family over Christmas. Why do people assume everyone has perfect families who all meet up over Christmas. I know people mean well but I get asked are you seeing your family/your partners no we are not and I feel you have to explain?

What do you say to people?;)

Maybe the people asking are just making meaningless small talk and don't actually give a toss what your Christmas plans are.....

I really can't understand why you feel the need to explain why you're not seeing your family.