No i am not seeing my family at Christmas !

DKLS

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe the people asking are just making meaningless small talk and don't actually give a toss what your Christmas plans are.....

I really can't understand why you feel the need to explain why you're not seeing your family.

This +1


Its just small talk and people being polite just like when someone asks if your alright and your automatic response is yeah fine thanks you and you leave out all the crap bits.

OrkneyStar

Person_one wrote: »

I don't generally mind giving people lifts, but I don't particularly like it when its taken for granted that I will or should!

For one thing, expecting to be driven back and forth on Christmas Day means someone has to avoid alcohol all day for you. I've done this in the past for elderly relatives but they were very gracious and didn't even ask.

The bit in bold is how I feel too.
I don't drink so it's not the alcohol issue, more the 'well I don't drive but you do, so you can take me places' attitude.
Thankfully most of my friends are not like that but sometimes, if I am not having a great day or whatever I'll take the hump when someone assumes I will take them somewhere.

KxMx wrote: »

For my family that's a non-issue as everyone is practically teetotal. One driver never drinks, and the other drivers are in couples so take turns anyway. Alcohol consumption at family gatherings is also rare, usually tea, water, squash or lemonade.

I'm afraid I disagree that hoping for a lift from family once a year in order to spend time together at Christmas is too much or showing an attitude of entitlement.

But each to their own And I fully respect in my family that the drivers are free to do what they want, their car their prerogative etc. If I ever do get a lift from them or a friend-as I have on 3 occasions since Dec 2012 (1 I asked for from a friend and 2 were offered from a friend and a family member) I always offer petrol money and if I suspect they won't accept I get a gift instead.

As I said I don't drink, I still don't want to be ferrying folk around at Christmas, I want to relax, I don't want to have to be out and about driving around. It is nice you offer petrol money when you do get a lift as that shows appreciation, but I'd never 'expect' a lift from anyone. When I didn't drive I would take lifts 'if offered' and always tried to give petrol/diesel money (one person gave me a lift quite a lot- we finished late at the homeless drop in- and as a result I would offer petrol money every so often in a lump sum, despite others NOT doing so, and I know it was appreciated), but most of the time got the bus or train, or taxi if later at night.

red_devil

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe the people asking are just making meaningless small talk and don't actually give a toss what your Christmas plans are.....

I really can't understand why you feel the need to explain why you're not seeing your family.

?

nice reply.
:eek:

Pollycat

red_devil wrote: »

?

nice reply.
:eek:

Thank you, you're most welcome. :cool:

red_devil

DKLS wrote: »

This +1


Its just small talk and people being polite just like when someone asks if your alright and your automatic response is yeah fine thanks you and you leave out all the crap bits.

Not sure about that, there is other small talk you can make.

The people that tend to ask are people who are in close families themselves.

red_devil

Pollycat wrote: »

Thank you, you're most welcome. :cool:

Why would you want to give such a bad reply is it necessary.

tattycath

After life changing events (for me) this year, I go and see my family as often as possible-particularly over the festive period, whether I'm feeling festive or not. Life's too short IMO.

Georgiegirl256

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe the people asking are just making meaningless small talk and don't actually give a toss what your Christmas plans are.....

I really can't understand why you feel the need to explain why you're not seeing your family.

And maybe, some people are very nosy about other peoples plans. The OP shouldn't be made to feel awkward that he isn't going to see family just because other people are.

You're right, some people are just making small talk, but some people are really nosy, and I guess the OP was just asking for opinions off other people on what they say when they're being quizzed.

LEJC

tattycath wrote: »

After life changing events (for me) this year, I go and see my family as often as possible-particularly over the festive period, whether I'm feeling festive or not. Life's too short IMO.

Thats an interesting point...however sometimes a life changing event can also push you further away.


In our family we have had 2 significant and unexpected deaths in the last 18 months and instead of bringing the family closer I think its kind of made some of them feel that its time to move on in another direction without the rest of the family....maybe they feel that being in such close contact with others is still too painful, or its a case of the person who was the pin of the family isnt there anymore...either way its sad because despite trying to include them they still appear to want a distance...sometimes you just have to accept that everyone is different and deals with situations in their own way.

Saturnalia

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Hmm I know some people don't have a choice in the matter but in this case...

SCROOGE!

Reason for the thread summed up in one ridiculous post.