No i am not seeing my family at Christmas !

lostinrates

red_devil wrote: »

does anyone else feel its expected you will see families?

Yes.

I wouldn't be apologetic about it at all.

DH and I are DELIGHTED that we will be spending Christmas alone together for only the third time. We are so looking forward to it. We cannot get away because of personal circumstances and our animals, but we still are going to make the absolute most of the opportunity, and are plotting with excitement!

Sound joyous about the situation, don't apologise for it. If you sound sad it opens the door for further enquiry as people try to show sympathy or curiosity.

balletshoes

red_devil wrote: »

does anyone else feel its expected you will see families?

while I do think its what the majority of people in this country do (see family and/or friends over the festive season) I don't know that I think its expected.
I've learned over the years that everyone is different, and we all do different things. So if you don't want to/feel the need to see your family/friends over christmas, thats fine - and as lostinrates says, enjoy your plans and be happy about them.

jackieblack

red_devil wrote: »

what a wonderful response why did you bother replying if you are seeing your family?:eek:

I presumed that answering 'yes', whether an accurate answer to the question or not, simply avoided a prolonged discussion on the matter

CC-Warrior

I avoid the subject and tell them that I'm looking forward to the new year.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

a YES would promp other questions like what your getting so and so and hows xyz if they haven't seen them in a while, my reply as I haven't made any plans yet side tracks the line questioning somewhat so I can control the line of questioning like changing the subject.


" haven't made any plans yet"


but there only xyz days left


"I know im disorganized"


GIGGLES


"oh which reminds me ive forgotten to get xyz I have to run ill see you soon"


end of convo.


it would always be in my mind to control the conversation to avoid any awkward lines of questioning albeit innocent by the questioner it sounds better than obviously looking awkward trying to blagg it and coming accorss as if your hiding something which people instantly react to by questioning more.


did you get that?


I don't think I did but I said it anyway LOLOLOLOLOL

aileth

I would actually LOOOOOOOOVE to have one Christmas alone together and am very jealous of you, lostinrates.

Unfortunately, the guilt-tripping, pressure, nuclear fall-out that would entail if we announced it would make the rest of the year unbearable. I would love, love, love to get up late on Christmas morning with dog and hub, lounge around and do whatever we bloody well want, rather than commencing something akin to a Lord of the Rings type adventure between all family members.

Justicia

red_devil wrote: »

what a wonderful response why did you bother replying if you are seeing your family?:eek:

I actually read that to mean that Gloomendoom just says "yes" in response, to shut them up from asking more questions.

LEJC

I think it depends whos asking really...


family and friends know that we dont spend it with them and are perfectly happy with our decision


Occaisionally someone know is on the fringes or doesnt really know us might ask what we are doing for christmas and we tell them we are going away....if they have a problem that we are not seeing family at christmas then the problem is theirs...but more often or not the conversations are usually in the vein of being polite and the type that are generically asked by lots of people at this time of year


It doesnt bother my husband and children that we have not spent a single christmas with our extended family for the last 16 years...and neither does it bother our families...we all have our own arrangements for the festive period.


We do meet up usually over the course of the month before christmas to exchange presents and catch up but the actual festive time is very much our own

People dont question a summer holiday as a time that you are away from family so why is it suddenly different if you decide to go away at christmas

lostinrates

aileth wrote: »

I would actually LOOOOOOOOVE to have one Christmas alone together and am very jealous of you, lostinrates.

Unfortunately, the guilt-tripping, pressure, nuclear fall-out that would entail if we announced it would make the rest of the year unbearable. I would love, love, love to get up late on Christmas morning with dog and hub, lounge around and do whatever we bloody well want, rather than commencing something akin to a Lord of the Rings type adventure between all family members.

We 're still having a bit of a lord of the ring type epic. One of the dogs has to go to the vets on Christmas Eve, and thought it was done and dusted whatever the outcome she'd be hope but now I'm not sure whether it might be better to make a decision before sigh.....

Anyway, we are also having plenty of guilt tripping. But....tough.


The parent that lives with us is decamping for a week, the one that doesn't has invited a guest. So it works out ok.


Its really important now that we have some time alone together. It doesn't have to be Christmas, but this is when its worked out as being. Its going to be the longest period of time off we have head since DH started work I think.....two whole weeks.

red_devil

aileth wrote: »

I would actually LOOOOOOOOVE to have one Christmas alone together and am very jealous of you, lostinrates.

we do too these days that is why i started the post.