How to get through Christmas without a row

Blackpool_Saver

You have his parents and he behaves like this........disgusting. His parents criticise you and he treats you badly and has no interest in his kid..........hmmmm

Netwizard

Say_who? wrote: »

. He even sends off for freebies throughout the year and then wraps them up for Christmas and birthdays.

Well since this is money SAVING expert, not money spending expert, that actually seems like a bloody good idea? :T

Blackpool_Saver

Well, ahem I wrap up freebies too (blush)

balletshoes

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Well, ahem I wrap up freebies too (blush)

me too - this is MSE :T!

This_Year

Say_who? wrote: »

He even sends off for freebies throughout the year and then wraps them up for Christmas and birthdays.

I do this. One year everything I gave OH was a freebie. And he loved the imagination I had put into it.

HPoirot

OP you live with a controlling man. I am 100% sure if you went out to work and hence had your own money and life away from him, his zeal for control would fade a bit.

Prothet_of_Doom

Perhaps you need to release control.

Ideas: Get DH to do the stockings.

(Tell him there will be no 'leg over' unless you get one too.)

Get DH to do the presents.

What's the worst that might happen ? He actually feels part of the celebrations. The kids will GET presents. maybe not the one's YOU think they wanted, but they'll get something nice.


Then the cooking. Let the family help plan and contibute, delegate to DH's family. If they want something, a particular way, tell them that they can do that then, and allow them into the kitchen to help.

DKLS

Silly man should use the tax advantages of using his company to buy the presents. So much more efficient way of buying presents.

justme111

Hey hey folks that sounds surreal to me , it all sounds wrong. If it was a child's first Christmas it would been a baby , what unwrapping presents we talking about. L"legover" is weird to read , surely sex between partners are looked forward to by both and not referred to and criticised in thusi manner. How on earth have.youanaged to equate joy of Christmas withonetary value and quantity of unwrapped presents. Presents themselves is a petty issue , there are hundreeds if ways to compromise without need for bashing guy's attitude towards them. Ps. Op is not a demure silent abuse victim , she shouts at him in return enough fit the row to be heard.

Op , someone here said very true thing - you can not control others , you can control only your response to them . You seem to be entrenched in blaming and confrontation mode working yourself into a frenzy of anger hurt and dispair . You seem to demand answers from your husband. Find them yourself. When you do things will change . I know not an easy thing to do. Feeling for you re "big roast " . Nothing is going to be worse than guests overhearing your arguing though so you can relax now , he who is wet already is not afraid of rain. . Joking , no really feel for you , that's dreadful when you are in a pressure situation with underlying issues .

slightlyconfused1

I think it is time to have a rant at him. He is quick to tell you how he feels so let him know how you feel before Christmas day.

Your kids should come first with him every day not just Christmas. What on earth is he working for if not to make you and his children happy. Why don't you take control.Tell him what you are doing but make sure it is reasonable.

Everyone has different ideas of Christmas. The key here is compromise. The kids get a few things they want = happy kids, happy kids = happy mum, happy mum = happy family unit. It is also worth reminding him that,rightly or wrongly other children will judge your kids by whether or not they have the latest thing.

On the other hand if he is a control freak that puts himself his idea of correct before the happiness of his family then I would seriously start planning2014 without him.