I need help!!! I don't know where to turn

AMILLIONDOLLARS

http://widow.co.uk/

A website I used when I was recently bereaved, it helped me enormously, I think the OP may want to visit. We are all individuals and I can say, thank God, I did not following the denial, anger and guilt, despair and depression. The final stage, which most people pass through, following the depression, is acceptance. I found this site and talked with other people in the same situation as me. Surprisingly, I think that we are all more resilient than we think when death comes along, I read this this morning.

Where there is life, death is beginning to manifest, when death is taking place, there too is the dawning of life, for they are woven finely with a wondrous twining of eternal life.

Peace people, don't sweat the small stuff!

Quote from Trishiapp
Whilst I really love AMD's wonderful attitude to human suffering, I have simply run-out of any empathy for the OP. In fact, I truly hope someone who really needs it benefited from the earlier, caring and well meaning posts.

Trish I try to have compassion/empathy for my fellowman always, as tomorrow I may not be given the chance.

AMD

Trishiapp

AMILLIONDOLLARS wrote: »

http://widow.co.uk/

A website I used when I was recently bereaved, it helped me enormously, I think the OP may want to visit. We are all individuals and I can say, thank God, I did not following the denial, anger and guilt, despair and depression. The final stage, which most people pass through, following the depression, is acceptance. I found this site and talked with other people in the same situation as me. Surprisingly, I think that we are all more resilient than we think when death comes along, I read this this morning.

Where there is life, death is beginning to manifest, when death is taking place, there too is the dawning of life, for they are woven finely with a wondrous twining of eternal life.

Peace people, don't sweat the small stuff!

Quote from Trishiapp
Whilst I really love AMD's wonderful attitude to human suffering, I have simply run-out of any empathy for the OP. In fact, I truly hope someone who really needs it benefited from the earlier, caring and well meaning posts.

Trish I try to have compassion/empathy for my fellowman always, as tomorrow I may not be given the chance.

AMD

Good afternoon AMD.


Your post is beautifully written and very inspirational. I am truly very sorry for your recent loss and I do hope life will bring you much love and happiness.

BMG

I had been saving grocery money to pay a little bit towards my debt. That is what I used for the taxi.


I had given the phone number to his old boss incase he got in touch for work


The undertaker is a friend of the family from way back and he is letting me pay when I can.


I am searching for the life assurance documents but can't find them at the moment.


I will be selling the house at some point in the near future.


I am English as someone commented that there may be cultural differences.


There is no children from any previous relationship. This was our first marriage and had lasted 25 years until in went wrong


I was updating on here as it was somewhere to talk to and air my feelings. Sorry if that has upset anyone.


If you would prefer I will no longer be apart of this forum. I will struggle through the problems on my own.

thecassman86

BMG wrote: »

I was updating on here as it was somewhere to talk to and air my feelings. Sorry if that has upset anyone.

Your posts haven't upset anyone.

BMG wrote: »

If you would prefer I will no longer be apart of this forum. I will struggle through the problems on my own.

You're as welcome to use the forum as the rest of us are.


OP, you have to understand that your story throughout has been very difficult to follow and even more frustrating to advise on. If i have got you wrong then i, for one, am sorry for that. But i think if you were to re-read the thread with a neutral mind you'd see the confusion for yourself.

I hope you find the Life Assurance documents and your house sale goes through without any problems.

Regardless of how many of us have reacted to this thread (myself included) none of us intend any harm and we don't wish badly on anybody.

Muser1

I did wonder if you had given the boss his number.

Have your parents stopped being pig headed and decided to support you?

25 years is a very long time. Sending my condolences.

glasgowsaver2011

Condolences and good luck

asparagus1968

morning.

if you cannot find the documents, do you know what company it was with? or could you look on bank statements to see who the direct debit was paid to? that might help.
your head must be all over the place, and hope you have someone in real life to support you too.
this is the new phase of your life now, try and go forward with a positive outlook, get your own little place etc.
have a think about how you could meet some more people, social groups/ quiz night at a pub or something?
good luck

Cottage_Economy

There used to be a very good sticky post in the moneysaving in marriages forum in what to do when someone dies, including all the little things that people don't think about in their grief. It was quite extensive, but it appears it has gone now.

[STRIKE]I'[STRIKE]ve also looked under The Death, Funerals and Probate and it isn't there.

Anyone know what the mods have done with it? It was very good and one of the most useful thread out there, being made up of experiences of people bereaved and how they dealt with everything practical and money-related. [/STRIKE][/STRIKE]

EDITED TO ADD: found it here No longer a sticky for some reason, despite it being started by Martin Lewis as a sticky in the first place. BMG, i have bumped the thread up to the first page of the Moneysaving, Relationships & Families board for you to find.

You might want to check out whether you are eligible to receive the one-off bereavement payment which is also mentioned in that thread and can be a major help. You may also be eligible for some kind of benefits now, as you relied on your husband's income, but I am not the right person to advise as I have no experience or knowledge of this.

Oh and watch your car insurance. If you were on your husband's policy you ceased being covered from his time of death, and you need to sort out your own policy in your name.


By the way OP, your parents are an utter disgrace. Doesn't matter whether they agreed with your choice of husband or not, 25 years later and they still beat you with it. Leave them to stew in their own juices the vile manipulators.

patman99

I was going to suggest looking on your Bank statements to see if it mentioned the company name for the life insurance.
Once you have this, the rest is easy.

The one reason that we here on the forum are doubting you is that certain things just don't add up. Like not being entitled to any kind of benefits. You can even get ESA for depression.

woodformoretrees

patman99 wrote: »

I was going to suggest looking on your Bank statements to see if it mentioned the company name for the life insurance.
Once you have this, the rest is easy.

The one reason that we here on the forum are doubting you is that certain things just don't add up. Like not being entitled to any kind of benefits. You can even get ESA for depression.

Yes, as long as the work capability assessment is passed.