Wife worried about money, I'm not, causing arguments!!!!

PasturesNew

Get her to write down, on paper, everything she things will be needed to live.

Maybe she's never actually done that.

longforgotten

Why didn't she think about it before she got pregnant

Wilkins

Even though your spending may be high, you have easily enough money. This seems obvious, though you may like to rough out a budget to prove it.


Therefore, it may be the case that your wife is really worried about other things and is just using money to focus her concerns (unless she has money worries that you know nothing about). Some gentle probing may be required. On the other hand, it may just be hormonal.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

sounds like fear of not being able to maintain the lifestyle as it sits now TBH with her knowing children cost money to keep, and all those things that gave her pleasure from spending without worrying that she's got to watch the pennies is now starting to dawn on her.


I would sit with down with her and pro actively start drawing up a A plan and B plan

andymc29

Thanks for the replies so far guys. Makes me feel a bit more normal.
My usual repsonse to her is that we have a lot more money than most other people and they all manage fine. But she'll respond with "I don't care what other people do!!!" Which kind of makes talking about it a problem.

Right now we save six hundred pounds a month into ISA accounts, which she treats like a bill and it stresses her out when I suggest we cut that down to nothing during her maternity leave. I think the main issue is she's very much a creature of habit and has got so used to having way more money than she needs that the idea of actually living to our means is scaring the crap out of her and I really can't think how to handle it. We've had totally different financial pasts and this sort of situation really makes that clear.


Also, for those mentioning that she may have debts I don't know about. She doesn't. She's got £35k in her cash ISA and we have £20k in a savings account that she just inherited off her nan. So over 50k in savings (which is why I think she's going mad!!!)

TeamLowe

I wouldn't want to generalize too much and say all pregnant women do it but it seems par for the course to have a 'holy crap what have we done' panic at some point when you're expecting, no matter how planned and wanted little one is.
It was also a very scary thought for me to go from standing on my own two feet finance wise to accepting there'll be a point where I won't be working and have to rely on DH. He's a very reliable man who is great at his job but it's hard to live with the thought that the stability of my finances and the home I provide for my baby will be outside my control- he could just decide tomorrow to quit and we'll be on the breadline and there's nothing I can do about that.

So whilst I can understand it seems 'princessy' I do think that instead this could be how her anxiety about becoming a mother is showing itself. All you can do is try to reassure her and try not to take it as a sincere criticism of you, which must be hard I realise

missindecisive

andy, tell her that when she has to clothe herself in second hand clothes, cut her own hair and scavange on car boot sales for kids toys, has no savings and bank account in the red, then you would expect her to worry. Otherwise she is to stop wasting her thoughts on this and enjoy the new arrival.

sabretoothtigger

In my view, we earn loads of money

Kids cost alot but not that much all at once, saving is sensible for the unexpected things. Life/sickness insurance and fixing the interest on the mortgage is what'd I'd mention as further sensible moves though this is not the money section and those points are debatable

xxdeebeexx

andymc29 wrote: »

She's got £35k in her cash ISA and we have £20k in a savings account that she just inherited off her nan. So over 50k in savings (which is why I think she's going mad!!!)

Could check that she is getting the best interest on her savings.

dx

paulineb_2

Over 50 grand in savings? She sounds like a spoilt madam pregnancy hormones or not.

She can't have it both ways, stay at home and still be as well off.

Good luck. Sounds like you'll need it.