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Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People
Comments
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Mine was more of the confidence sapping type of thing, always telling me I was useless, fat, ugly, a bad parent etc.
We also had the shouting/throwing times too.
One memorable occasion was a meal I had cooked for dinner, it was apparently not a proper dinner, so he promptly threw the plate (including its contents) across the kitchen into the wall. Two weeks later, he asked why I hadn't made that particular dish for a while and when I replied it was because he said it wasn't a proper meal, he told me I was stupid and that he couldn't possibly have said that.
It was actually a relief when he left our home for the last time, me and the boys realised that the underlying feeling of tension/threat was gone....we had all been walking about on tenderhooks for months.
The worst part was when he became violent and aggressive in a social services run facility where middle son was having private tutoring. This was after our marriage had broken down but before he had moved away from the town....his actions then gave me a whole year of hell from social services because of the witnessed domestic violence, everything was put under a microscope, diagnosis challenged, so much pressure was put on me and it is one of the reasons I don't chase respite help.
Their 'help' is the reason why the boys do not like anyone in the house, why I can't have friends over for visits, why my parents can't spend time here, all because of one support worker (who was supposed to be supporting and helping us), who decided that she was going to barricade the front door to prevent middle son going to a neighbour's house, a pre arranged thing we had for when he felt like he was going to explode into an aspergic rage.
Unfortunately, to prevent the support worker being hurt, I got in between her and middle son, he kicked me to the ground and kept kicking me, my neighbour was on the other side of the door trying to get in, the support worker was still refusing to open it and I ended up battered and bruised. After that, they trusted no-one to come in and still don't.
What really annoyed me was that after approx a year, I regained some of my confidence and challenged them as to why we were still having meetings bearing in mind the ex hubby had not only left the house but was living 400 miles away. They then immediately said everything was fine, no more meetings were to be held and that I was an excellent parent....and would I like to run their autism parenting group!
I told them to stick it....but maybe not quite so politely :rotfl:
Sometimes, the people who are supposed to help can do the most damage.Still striving to be mortgage free before I get to a point I can't enjoy it.
Owed at the end of -
02/19 - £78,400. 04/19 - £85,000. 05/19 - £83,300. 06/19 - £78,900.
07/19 - £77,500. 08/19 - £76,000.0 -
vivatifosi wrote: »I understand crocs even less than I understand physics.
LOL....
I've been completely unable to understand how Mrs McT balances on absurdly high heels for a very long time. Let alone walk or even run in them, in sunshine, rain, snow and ice.
It defies all the known laws of physics.:o“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie – deliberate, contrived, and dishonest – but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.
Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”
-- President John F. Kennedy”0 -
the very very pointed, elongated toe.
Ah yes...
I call them Pixie booties....
Mrs McT prefers to call them "Manolo Blahniks"....
(I prefer my name for them.:))“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie – deliberate, contrived, and dishonest – but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.
Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”
-- President John F. Kennedy”0 -
lostinrates wrote: »When I fuss with my walking stick height I often wonder if people realise its because I've changed shoes. I wonder if they even notice?
I'd like a pair of shoes I have made for me again with slight change, so I cannot bear to throw them out, they ARE flat and have very pointed toes, but I loved them. They are very tatty now, proving they have been well loved.
Its actually quite important not to wear heels all the time if you don't want contraction in soft tissues. ( crudely, think of the baby ballet exercise of good toes naughty toes, because its important to stretch out those soft tissues. )
I only wear heels once a week anyway, probably why this pair have lasted so long. The rest of the time it is trainers or in the summer, a very slight heel.We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »Yes, but so often you hear people saying things like, "I didn't mean to hurt you", if they've had an affair or whatever, and it doesn't mean much in that context, I reckon. What did he or she think would happen, exactly?
To do something regardless of the fact that it will obviously very badly hurt somebody you are supposed to care about is bad. LNE did that.
To do something vindictive in order to increase the suffering of somebody you are supposed to care about whom you have already hurt quite badly enough is worse. LNE did not do that.Lydia - what an 4r$e. Plainly a legend in his own mind.Words fail me...
Thanks for the support, both of you.
It appeared to be complete nonsense, to be honest. The usual patronising science coverage from the Beeb.
Glad I'm not the only person who thought so. There seemed to be a teacher supporting the kid in doing it, and the coverage was reporting some ever so slightly older kid in the US who'd already done it, which made me feel I'd better not write it off without enquiring at least a little further.
The idea of fusion without a torus to contain it does seem highly implausible, though.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »LOL....
I've been completely unable to understand how Mrs McT balances on absurdly high heels for a very long time. Let alone walk or even run in them, in sunshine, rain, snow and ice.
It defies all the known laws of physics.:o
It used to be easy.......
I even remember when heels were more comfortable than flats.. In someways they are still (knees) but ......0 -
I only wear heels once a week anyway, probably why this pair have lasted so long. The rest of the time it is trainers or in the summer, a very slight heel.
I keep thinking that I need to wear heels more often (I have a fair few pairs, mostly pretty boring), then sticking to flats. I could do with a boost in height if nothing else! I think I wore heels maybe 5 times in total last year.0 -
lostinrates wrote: »Isn't that pretty? The picture doesn't really do it justice, but its red cabbage (and other things) juice.
I like red cabbage a lot, but the texture's part of it for me - it's great to eat raw. So I don't think I'd turn it into juice.Wow that's a stunning photo lir. NDG, I think you should just look at pictures of sunsets all day, and contemplate whilst quietly baby growing!
I could very easily turn that idle and do absolutely nothing. I need to guard against laziness and procrastination, otherwise I do both....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
So I'm inclined to let loved ones arrange whatever makes them feel best about it.
My only requests are a piper, and a copious quantity of good single malts at the wake.......;)
Yes. For my funeral I would like DS and DD to do whatever they find most helpful.Very pretty. Only the second prettiest of your pics today though lir. I missed commenting at the time (was trying to persuade myself to get out of bed), but that was stunning. You almost tricked me into getting up just to look out of the window. Almost
There was a stunning sunset here tonight. I couldn't photograph it, though, because I was driving DD to Brownies and we were late.Mine was more of the confidence sapping type of thing, always telling me I was useless, fat, ugly, a bad parent etc.
We also had the shouting/throwing times too.
One memorable occasion was a meal I had cooked for dinner, it was apparently not a proper dinner, so he promptly threw the plate (including its contents) across the kitchen into the wall. Two weeks later, he asked why I hadn't made that particular dish for a while and when I replied it was because he said it wasn't a proper meal, he told me I was stupid and that he couldn't possibly have said that.
It was actually a relief when he left our home for the last time, me and the boys realised that the underlying feeling of tension/threat was gone....we had all been walking about on tenderhooks for months.
The worst part was when he became violent and aggressive in a social services run facility where middle son was having private tutoring. This was after our marriage had broken down but before he had moved away from the town....his actions then gave me a whole year of hell from social services because of the witnessed domestic violence, everything was put under a microscope, diagnosis challenged, so much pressure was put on me and it is one of the reasons I don't chase respite help.
Their 'help' is the reason why the boys do not like anyone in the house, why I can't have friends over for visits, why my parents can't spend time here, all because of one support worker (who was supposed to be supporting and helping us), who decided that she was going to barricade the front door to prevent middle son going to a neighbour's house, a pre arranged thing we had for when he felt like he was going to explode into an aspergic rage.
Unfortunately, to prevent the support worker being hurt, I got in between her and middle son, he kicked me to the ground and kept kicking me, my neighbour was on the other side of the door trying to get in, the support worker was still refusing to open it and I ended up battered and bruised. After that, they trusted no-one to come in and still don't.
What really annoyed me was that after approx a year, I regained some of my confidence and challenged them as to why we were still having meetings bearing in mind the ex hubby had not only left the house but was living 400 miles away. They then immediately said everything was fine, no more meetings were to be held and that I was an excellent parent....and would I like to run their autism parenting group!
I told them to stick it....but maybe not quite so politely :rotfl:
Oh Sue. Where do I begin?
Hugs, thoughts, prayers, and huge congratulations for all the progress you've made since then.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
flats.
All joking aside, I think Mrs McT does actually own a pair of flats, but I've never, ever, ever seen her wear them.I think I wore heels maybe 5 times in total last year.
With the exception of trainers at the gym and slippers in the house, I don't think I've ever seen Mrs McT wear anything less than a 4" heel in all our time together.
She reckons they're more comfortable? Although I suppose it must depend on what you're used to as much as anything else?“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie – deliberate, contrived, and dishonest – but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.
Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”
-- President John F. Kennedy”0
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