Nice People Thread Number 10 -the official residence of Nice People

lostinrates

Nikkster wrote: »

Perhaps the key is to make it feel like the act of love and care it is intended to be rather than a 'you're a bloater' warning? Easier said than done though, I'm sure.

Exactly.


I fear if someone is already suffering a 'low' mental state the worst conclusion will be jumped to? Not sure?


DH always picks out one of my favourite plates, (difficult if you are chic all white plate household because then it feels less special.....we have white plates in the kitchen ATM, so my plates are in the dining room and he's had to find one)

The the fruit is arranged prettily and something like a fancy glass of rosemary water (one of my favourite drinks but not usually in one of the fancy glasses) is brought too......

A flower on the tray and a big kiss and , something soppy like, 'sweet fruits for my birdy to nibble' or with some fruits a rude little whisper and then he disappeared off to fry himself some bread :rotfl:

CKhalvashi

lemonjelly wrote: »

Following on from numerous healthy eating/weight comments, must fight to avoid comfort eating!:D

I've given up on that now :eek:

I've reached a weight I don't seem to be going up from, and that's fine for me!

Nikkster

Generali wrote: »

I put the Godfather down as my trilogy.

Toy Story...?

I get terrible jet lag these days, just awful.

What's the matter with Toy Story? (I chose Toy Story ) I have the Godfather trilogy (its not made it over here yet) - I think it is still in it's cellophane (:o). Maybe I'll have to have 'Godfather' weekend once it's made the move.

neverdespairgirl

LydiaJ wrote: »

Growing up under your mother's influence, you have turned into just the same sort of encouraging and understanding person that she is.

Not really, I think it's just common sense. Unrealistic expectations of ourselves as parents are a recipe for misery.

If (say) you enjoy playing tennis as a hobby, and you're fairly good at it, it's still going to be the case that some days it just doesn't quite gel - you're stiff, or a bit tired, or just not quite in the mood. Or if you are a teacher, some lessons just work, you draw the class in, and it goes wonderfully. Other days, the class is tired after double netball, or fed up because it's got a physics exam, or you're starting a cold, and it's not quite the same.

Expecting that we'll always adore and worship parenthood is setting yourself up for failure. A toddler who has just discovered the power of "no" and is putting all his infant will into resisting wearing socks, or a pair of older children who are squabbling and make you want to bang their heads together, or a teenager who appears to want to live in a swampy pigsty, all of those are irritating. And then there are times when you are cross, tired, or just not in the right mood.

No-one, really, gets woken up at 1am, 2am, 3.15am, 4.30am etc by a young baby with a cold, and thinks, "aren't I lucky to be a position to serve the needs of this wonderful baby of mine?" Pretty much everyone would be thinking, "!!!!!!! Just sleep, you little monster!" by the second or third time. Beating yourself up because you aren't overjoyed that your dear infant is squawling again is worse than useless.

SingleSue wrote: »

Will you think me terrible when I sometimes think that with autistic children?

And that's all just normal stuff, dealing with children who are bereaved, upset, traumatised or autistic is an extra layer of pressure. It doesn't make you a remotely bad person if you sometimes think, "for goodness sake! Just join a bloody band and then shut up about it!" It makes you a person.

Being a parent doesn't turn you into a super-human, constantly wonderful, never needing sleep or a day off or a cup of tea. Pretending it does, or thinking it ought to, is the swiftest possible route to misery all round, I reckon.

Perfection is the enemy of happiness and normality.

lemonjelly wrote: »

On re-reading the above, I've paraphrased NDG so badly I fear I've done her a dis-service...:o

I don't feel dis-served, fear not.

lostinrates

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

Not really, I think it's just common sense. Unrealistic expectations of ourselves as parents are a recipe for misery.

If (say) you enjoy playing tennis as a hobby, and you're fairly good at it, it's still going to be the case that some days it just doesn't quite gel - you're stiff, or a bit tired, or just not quite in the mood. Or if you are a teacher, some lessons just work, you draw the class in, and it goes wonderfully. Other days, the class is tired after double netball, or fed up because it's got a physics exam, or you're starting a cold, and it's not quite the same.

Expecting that we'll always adore and worship parenthood is setting yourself up for failure. A toddler who has just discovered the power of "no" and is putting all his infant will into resisting wearing socks, or a pair of older children who are squabbling and make you want to bang their heads together, or a teenager who appears to want to live in a swampy pigsty, all of those are irritating. And then there are times when you are cross, tired, or just not in the right mood.

No-one, really, gets woken up at 1am, 2am, 3.15am, 4.30am etc by a young baby with a cold, and thinks, "aren't I lucky to be a position to serve the needs of this wonderful baby of mine?" Pretty much everyone would be thinking, "!!!!!!! Just sleep, you little monster!" by the second or third time. Beating yourself up because you aren't overjoyed that your dear infant is squawling again is worse than useless.



And that's all just normal stuff, dealing with children who are bereaved, upset, traumatised or autistic is an extra layer of pressure. It doesn't make you a remotely bad person if you sometimes think, "for goodness sake! Just join a bloody band and then shut up about it!" It makes you a person.

Being a parent doesn't turn you into a super-human, constantly wonderful, never needing sleep or a day off or a cup of tea. Pretending it does, or thinking it ought to, is the swiftest possible route to misery all round, I reckon.

Perfection is the enemy of happiness and normality.



I don't feel dis-served, fear not.

Gosh NDG, you are very in danger of becoming a real life heroine.

neverdespairgirl

Absolutely not, the precise opposite - recognising your limitations is a much happier way of carrying on than expecting self-heroics.

PasturesNew

Big Benefits Live just started.
Channel 5

Spirit_2

What Career Should You Actually Have?

You got: Professor

You are a thinker, in constant search of knowledge and answers to life’s most illusive questions. You love to analyze everything, testing out theories and pushing mental boundaries. Basically you’re an Einstein, but then again you probably already knew that.


NP will recognise all of these attributes from my posts on here; from my search for food, testing mothering on my daughter and pushing my luck with my long suffering husband.

The closest I get to Einstein is reading Zags posts.

Generali

Nikkster wrote: »

What's the matter with Toy Story? (I chose Toy Story ) I have the Godfather trilogy (its not made it over here yet) - I think it is still in it's cellophane (:o). Maybe I'll have to have 'Godfather' weekend once it's made the move.

There's nothing wrong with it but it's a children's film. It's like saying Harry Potter is your favourite novel.

IMHO the Godfather is let down by part III. First 2 are great though.

Nikkster

Generali wrote: »

There's nothing wrong with it but it's a children's film. It's like saying Harry Potter is your favourite novel.

IMHO the Godfather is let down by part III. First 2 are great though.

Well, Toy Story was my favourite trilogy from those options.

Not sure I'm going to redeem myself by telling you that my favourite film is most usually one of Finding Nemo or Up though

Edit: Probably should also not re-mention how much I would like to go to the Harry Potter thing at Leavesden studios...