Nearing crisis point

sacha28

I tried him in my bed once and I felt it was a massive mistake. The second I pulled the duvet over him he started giggling, got up and started jumping saying 'bounce! bounce! bounce!. It wasn't that funny at 2.30am when he'd already been up for 2 hrs!!!

I don't really have a reason why I'm against him in my bed, it was just something that was discussed with my OH when I was pregnant and we agreed that it wasn't something we wanted to get into. My OH is epileptic and sometimes suffers clonic jerks in the night so injury is a possibility.

mucklebones

sacha28 wrote: »

I tried him in my bed once and I felt it was a massive mistake. The second I pulled the duvet over him he started giggling, got up and started jumping saying 'bounce! bounce! bounce!. It wasn't that funny at 2.30am when he'd already been up for 2 hrs!!!

I don't really have a reason why I'm against him in my bed, it was just something that was discussed with my OH when I was pregnant and we agreed that it wasn't something we wanted to get into. My OH is epileptic and sometimes suffers clonic jerks in the night so injury is a possibility.

I have not slept in same bed as my partner since our daughter was born, we do it because it means we all get maximum rest. Could you not take it in turns to take your sons room if he settles better with one of you? Just an option its what I would do and understand it would not suit everyone. He wont want to share forever. x

Make-it-3

My LO has only slept thru on rare occasions ever since birth and she's three next month. She is also nothing but inconsistent. Sometimes good at going to bed, sometimes terrible, sometimes wakes after less than an hour.

We consistently put her back to bed, low-key but firm "its bedtime, go to bed" through the evening. But the only thing that works is letting her sleep on the sofa with us or in our bed and then she will sleep until morning.

Could you juggle your sleeping arrangements to see if sleeping with you might help. Its far from ideal, we don't know how we are going to wean our daughter off it. But your own sleep is so important for your own physical and mental health.

notanewuser

Make-it-3 wrote: »

My LO has only slept thru on rare occasions ever since birth and she's three next month. She is also nothing but inconsistent. Sometimes good at going to bed, sometimes terrible, sometimes wakes after less than an hour.

We consistently put her back to bed, low-key but firm "its bedtime, go to bed" through the evening. But the only thing that works is letting her sleep on the sofa with us or in our bed and then she will sleep until morning.

Could you juggle your sleeping arrangements to see if sleeping with you might help. Its far from ideal, we don't know how we are going to wean our daughter off it. But your own sleep is so important for your own physical and mental health.

Odds are she'll do it for you.

As I said, in other cultures they wouldn't dream of their babies and children sleeping separately, never mind in another room. I doubt very much our ancestors had 2 bed caves! :rotfl:

Make-it-3

It does seem somewhat unfair that I tell her she should sleep in her own bed when I get to cuddle up to her dad!

And yes, I expect by the time she is 17 there will be some spotty faced teen she'd rather be sharing a bed with.

Mips

Try changing the position his bed is in, or the end you settle him in!

Worked for my little girl.

jenhug

I do wonder if there could be a "physical" issue here. My daughter slept like an angel from birth, 12 hours every night. She hit 2, we put her in a bed as she was hitting the sides of the cot and it took us 6 months to get her to step foot back in her room.

In the end we put her mattress on our floor and she slept in with us.

She was incredibly forward for her age. the day she turned 6 months she spoke and crawled, both on the same day. By 7 months she was cruising, using cutlery to feed herself at 9 months (only a fork and spoon) and could count to well over 20 by 18 months.

She has a diagnosis of ADHD and Aspergers.

Something different may be happening to your son on the days he sleeps well which causes him to settle better.

My advice? Keep a diary. Everything he has eaten and drunk, what toys he played with, what tv he watched.

I know you said he gets lots of fruit and veg, but is he really getting enough calories protein and fats in his diet? I would really recommend you adding another meal in nearer to bed time. something warm and filling, maybe rice pudding, porridge or weetabix.

Is he waking because he is wet initially?

Start with the diary, its amazing what signals we can miss out on, a pattern may emerge that you have been to knackered to notice.

Spendless

sacha28 wrote: »

Maybe I am expecting too much, maybe I'm just destined to feel ill until he leaves home I guess if he just amused himself without screaming like a banshee......does anyone know where the volume control is on kids??!!

It won't take that long, but it could take a while. My son considered sleep an optional extra, could be awake till very late and still up at 6am. That changed shortly before his 12th birthday when 'lazy teenager' symptoms kicked in.

Here are some of the things that helped, I am reluctant to use the word worked because nothing, other than growing older did long term.

Playing classical music in their bedroom.

NOT having a bath before bed. It doesn't make everyone sleepy, some people it wakes up. It does me, twice last week I came home shattered from work and could quite happily have hit the pillow, had a bath and got a 2nd wind. Moniter if your DS is more 'bouncy' after coming out and if so try changing to a morning bath (on a day off) to see if it makes a difference or not.

My DS when old enough would just wander into our bedroom when old enough and climb into our bed. He perfected an art of climbing in from the bottom in the middle. We have a king size bed and sometimes didn't know that he was there until morning. Just warning you this can happen.

duchy

charlies-aunt wrote: »

My DD1 didn't sleep night or day, she was hyperactive, destructive and off the wall 24/7 - she was diagnosed at 3 with Aspergers Syndrome and ADHD and put on medication to help her calm down and to sleep.

We lost quite a few friends who disapproved of the "chemical cosh" approach to her behavioural problems - in an ideal world I would not have resorted to it ... but even the best parents can only take so much sleep deprivation.

She certainly benefitted from the treatment and so did we

ADHD might contribute to sleep issues - Aspergers probably not . My son has AS and even once he started infants school would sleep 12 or 13 hours a night.

Sleep deprivation is awful -leaves you unable to cope. I think at the point you are at I'd probably consider a really restricted diet and a detailed diary to try and see if there are any food or activity triggers you've missed. Sometimes a diary can pinpoint stuff that we've not even considered. I'd also seriously think about getting yourself signed off with stress for a couple of weeks .

Sending you a hug-it WILL get better.

sacha28

Thanks everyone, every single comment has been considered and appreciated. The last couple of nights have been better, yet nothing has really changed. When he sleeps well, I try to replicate everything the next night. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't!!

I have considered taking the sides off his cot bed and see how we get on there. I have also layered him up a bit more, just in case he has been getting cold.

Today I have bathed him this morning, there may be something in it waking him up as he's been running riot ever since lol

I think a diary is a spot on idea, although I will need to be more self disciplined as I forget to fill things like that in!!!

I am so grateful for everyone that has taken the time to write, advise and share their own experiences. I have no family of my own that I can discuss things with so you guys are a bit like a lifeline! As you can tell, today is a very positive day. I'm feeling happy and Cody is much happier for a good night's sleep!!!