Nearing crisis point

thorsoak

What is his diet like? Are you feeding him from tins /cans/frozen - or are you cooking from scratch? Could be diet-induced!

stardoman

sacha28 wrote: »

His bedtime routine is the same as it has always been and is as follows.....

5pm tea time
5.45pm bath time
6.30pm he chooses his books, give daddy a kiss goodnight then we go up to his room to read them.

I don't put his light on, use the landing light with his door wide open, and he always has the same book read before getting into his cot. He goes to bed with a half filled bottle of milk (more if he hasn't eaten well for tea)

He goes to bed with 2 cuddles bears, god help me if we lose one, which he puts either side of his face whilst he drinks his milk.

We have a thermometer light that tells us the room temp and shows a different colour whether room is too hot etc. He also has lullabys and a night light (we have forgotten to put these on a couple of times which caused trouble).

Both myself and oh have done exactly the same thing since he was very little......given him some water, covered him up, whispered 'it's night time, time for sleep' then left. Very little interaction from either of us. Sometimes this works, sometimes it just seems to wind him up.

The GP has prescribed phenergan (a sedative) about 6 months ago. He slept well the first night then was worse than ever for the next week. I also believe that this was making him groggy during the day as he wasn't sleeping well enough on it (has anyone here taken a low dose sleeping tablet then not slept well? I have and I felt terrible in the morning!)

His moods are very up and down. He was awful over the weekend. Whenever I called my oh all I could hear was screaming in the background. It's very wearing. He has bags under his eyes and seems quite pale. He looks constantly knackered.

We've tried putting him to bed earlier, we've tried putting him to bed later. Neither has worked. I can never keep him up past 7pm anyway, he stands at the bottom of the stairs begging to go to bed.

Our boy NEVER has milk during the night, hasn't for well over a year, yet the past few nights it's the first thing he asks for. Is he just trying it on? He has also NEVER been in my bed and it isn't something that either of us are willing to do.

If there are any more questions feel free to ask, I will answer as honestly as I can xx

I can't help wondering if he's going to bed too early. If he goes to bed at 7pm and then wakes at 4:30am he has had 9 and a half hours sleep. I have 3 children and that was the most that any of mine slept for. Mine all went to bed nearer to 9pm and it was still 6:30am when they were ready for the day.

I know you say you're not willing to let him sleep with you, but I must admit it was the only way we could get a decent night's sleep. I didn't let my eldest into bed with us, but my middle one woke his big brother up when he cried in the night. One thing worse than having a baby awake in the middle of the night is having the baby and his toddler brother awake. So once this happened, the baby ended up in bed with us.

whitewing

I know you have a room thermometer. Do you think he gets too hot though in what he is wearing? I have horrible dreams if my body temp rises too much. I also can't sleep if I am breathing warm air.

indsty

The only thing I can add is to wonder what he is doing during the day - if he is at nursery maybe this is just too noisy and tiring.

It always helped mine if they were getting lots of fresh air and outdoor play (even in the wind and rain), does he walk everywhere or is he always in a buggy, can you increase outdoor time at all?

jenhug

He could be having a growth spurt and needs more food. its a long time from 5pm til breakfast, even with half a cup of milk.

Counting_Pennies_2

I too wonder about diet and his daily environment.

You say he doesn't nap but are you sure his nursery or childminder don't sneak a nap in without letting you know. I can imagine if he is tired they will just let it go regardless of instructions from yourselves as they want an easy life.

Also food, how natural are the ingredients in the food he eats. My son used to be wired in the night if he had any form of ingredients. I remember on a couple of occasions he was fed jelly by granny and had a fruit shoot at a party at quite a young age and he became a horror in the middle of the night. Even standard foods from supermarkets that seem harmless have lots of hidden horrors.

I wonder about booking a week off and focusing on his diet and sleep patterns. Not cooking anything that comes out of a packet, ensuring just fruit and vegetables and meat and that they are cooked from fresh.

Getting him out in the fresh air walking, playing, if the weather is poor taking him to an indoor play area or swimming pool.

It might even be necessary to rethink his situation during the day.

I remember asking my childminder not to let my child sleep after 3pm in the afternoon, and arriving early on a few occasions to find him in his grobag having just appeared from a cot just before 5pm.

If after this is explored, I would try to get some form of sleep clinic referral.

After that I would explore if he might have some form of disorder. I am not wanting to alarm but my friend's child is tipping on the autism spectrum and has always been wired and unsettled, so it might be necessary to explore coping mechanisms for children with special requirements. Such as not going outside of their normal routine or comfort zones, explaining and preparing the child before any sudden changes etc.

Good luck with it all, and remember things seem so much worse when you are tired. Try to take it in turns for one of you to sleep as far away as possible to get a good night sleep

Counting_Pennies_2

Also you could find he is waking up having a wee with the milk he is having at bed time. Have you tried ensuring he has enough drink in the day and has his milk no later than 6pm

charlies-aunt

My DD1 didn't sleep night or day, she was hyperactive, destructive and off the wall 24/7 - she was diagnosed at 3 with Aspergers Syndrome and ADHD and put on medication to help her calm down and to sleep.

We lost quite a few friends who disapproved of the "chemical cosh" approach to her behavioural problems - in an ideal world I would not have resorted to it ... but even the best parents can only take so much sleep deprivation.

She certainly benefitted from the treatment and so did we

Octobergirl

We've had sleep issues with our daughter since she was born. She has always woken at 5am if not earlier, and doesn't seem able to then go back to sleep. Like others have said, it's a matter of training to stay quiet reading /playing so she doesn't wake the rest of us up. After 6 months she never napped either.

At 2 ish she used to wake in hysterics, a night light solved that, my son did the same at a similar age, so I wonder fear of the dark kicks in around then.

For the first 4 years she wouldn't go to sleep at night , she does have cp, which is well known for associated sleep problems. We gave her melatonin as a last resort. I was very much of the stricter routine, stories a cuddle- she goes to bed and no more interaction/attention from us.

A few months ago we started lying with her for 5 minutes ( totally goes against my upbringing!) and I'm amazed as she settles quickly we say goodnight and she goes to sleep straight away. I wonder whether we could have saved ourselves 8 years of bedtime hell if we'd relaxed the rules and not read all the books.

She wakes 3/4 times a night. It's only when she got to 6 that I realised that her temperature is plummeting at night, she now wears fleecies in the summer and 2sets of pyjamas in the winter.

We haven't cracked it yet, DD is currently getting up at 4am which is driving me demented, but I do wish I hadn't tried to do things 'the right way' but gone with my instincts more. Could you try cuddling your boy back to sleep, maybe he needs reassurance in the night?

MrsAtobe

stardoman wrote: »

Can you and your husband take it in turns. We did alternative nights with the person not getting up sleeping in the spare room. At least thing way one of us knew we would get a full nights sleep.

I'd second this, with earplugs if necessary (wonderful invention). Sleep deprivation can be used as a form of torture, getting more sleep may also help you recognise something that is wrong. Also, mum and dad will be happier, which may help your little one to settle a bit more - you never know. I hope you find a way to cope soon, I do feel for you, I know what a ratbag I am if I don't get enough sleep.