Nearing crisis point

apesxx

i havent really got much advise but just wanting to send a big hug as i really do feel your pain. My DS is 4.5 now and has only really started sleeping through the last 6 months :-( I dont know if he gets up in the night much now. He has a torch and some books by his bed which i know he looks at when he wakes up early. If he comes into our room in the night now i make him go get back in bed himself as i dont want him to get into the habit of me keep coming and tucking him in again.

He has been an awful sleeper since the day he was born but it was never getting him into bed. he always went to bed at 7 o clock no problem, it was getting him to stay asleep.

if it wasnt his eczema keeping him up it was the fact he needed a wee and just had to let the whole street know he needed to go, or his drink had run out because he guzzled it. so we changed him to water in the night so he wouldnt guzzle it down. We took him dummy off him because he would wake up 6 times a night because his dummy had come out. He then suddenly became scared of the dark at one point and would wake screaming in the night so we have to leave the landing light on all night now. It just seemed as though when we solved one problem another would take its place.

some nights he would wake up every hour. I was so tired im sure i was on the verge of some sort of breakdown and my relationship was very close to the edge too as we were both so tired that we just took it out on each other.

i really do hope you get things sorted soon as i understand that sleep deprivation is worse than torture.

big hugs x x

notanewuser

http://sarahockwell-smith.com/2013/09/30/the-great-sleep-obsession-the-problem-of-modern-day-life-versus-the-primitive-infant/

mgdavid

You may, or may not, discount a bloke's view, but I'd simply say 'hang in there, it'll pass'. Our second son woke every night without fail for 2 years, wife was in a very similar place to you. Then one day we both woke up at 0730 and panicked when we realised he'd been quiet all night - rushed into his room thinking the worst only to find him gently snoring away. He was fine from then on, perfectly normal, no issues.

fluffnutter

sacha28 wrote: »

He has bags under his eyes and seems quite pale. He looks constantly knackered.

This worries me. Plenty of children simply don't need as much sleep as their parents would like them to have and wake frequently or for long periods. Most show no signs of tiredness during the day and will simply grow out of it in time. If your son is tired, he's not getting enough sleep. His sleep routines aren't suiting him yet he seems trapped in them.

Did the GP do any physical exams before prescribing a sedative (which incidentally I think is a terrible idea but that's just my personal opinion)?

nlj1520

Have you tried Melissa oil in his bath? Only 1 or 2 drops as it's strong stuff, but might help.

sassyblue

I would get rid of the room thermometer, worst thing l ever bought ours was constantly showing red (too hot) yet we felt it was cool and children have less body fat than us.

I would try wrapping him up with an extra layer on tonight and see, has his sleep issues got worse since the summer as it's got colder at night? Have you increased his blanketing?

EvieSaver

I don't know how to help your child sleep but maybe I could suggest how you could get more sleep. We had this problem with our eldest, he would be awake for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night. I can remember the exhaustion. In the end I used to go to bed when he did - 7pm - ish (I know it sounds early but I was so tired I fell straight asleep). My husband would look after him if he woke before midnight and I would look after him from that time onwards. My husband would have mostly a full nights sleep (which he needed for work) and I would have a good amount of sleep in two bits - say 7pm - 1am, then 3am - 6am. I felt so much better, and it made me much calmer with him when he woke - which I think helped him too. Could you work something like this out between you? Once you get some sleep you will feel so much better.

Good luck.

z.n

My DS was like this- colic as a baby, woke every hour on the hour for the first six months, would take three hours to settle to bed, woke in the night and screamed again. We tried all the usual stuff- timed crying, milk/no milk, early/late bedtime, nap/no nap etc. Food allergies/intolerances. The answer was really very simple- he wanted and needed to be with us. DH was adamant (who sets rules about these things?) that DS should be in his own room once out of the crib so we persevered until DD came along- the combo of two screaming children proved too much. So I got to try my ideas out. DD in crib then cot next to me, DS allowed into our bed whenever he needed a cuddle in the night. An hour's scream became a two minute resettle. If needed DS could then be carried back to his own bed, but no barriers so he could come to us if he wanted. The only thing was, we ended up needing a bigger bed when DD went into her own room and there were at times four of us sharing the duvet.

sacha28

mgdavid wrote: »

You may, or may not, discount a bloke's view, but I'd simply say 'hang in there, it'll pass'. Our second son woke every night without fail for 2 years, wife was in a very similar place to you. Then one day we both woke up at 0730 and panicked when we realised he'd been quiet all night - rushed into his room thinking the worst only to find him gently snoring away. He was fine from then on, perfectly normal, no issues.

mg I would never discount a man's advice, any advice/ideas are helpful.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I will shed more light now I'm up after my night shift!

My LB has a very balanced diet. He loves fresh fruit and veg and I cook pretty much all of our meals from scratch. That's not to say I'm a domestic goddess but my nesting went into over-drive whilst pregnant and I bought many cook books and taught myself how to cook (I couldn't cook beans on toast before I was pregnant!).

My ds and I spend lots of time outdoors. We are very lucky to live in a town that has beach on one side and countryside the other. He loves woodland walks, hunting for seashells on the beach, running around the park. He is very active and I try to encourage that. I have never been a 'home body' and feel cooped up if I don't get out at some point during the day, my ds seems to have picked up on that.

As for his sleep patterns......there doesn't seem to be any pattern to it. Last week he slept really well. Napped during the day, went to bed when he asked and didn't wake until 6am (I honestly don't mind getting up at 6am when I actually get some sleep!). This has been happening ever since he was born. He would do 1-2 weeks of good sleep and then it would just go hideously wrong for no reason.

I understand some people think I may be expecting too much of him but it is having an adverse effect on him. His mood has been dreadful all week and his key worker at nursery said she could tell yesterday that he hasn't slept well as his behaviour has nose-dived from how he was last week. I spent all day crying yesterday, he has spent 3 days crying and I know he doesn't like being like that, he is such a happy boy when well rested.

One thing nursery said last week is that my LB is very intelligent. He can count to 5, recognises his name when written on paper and you can have a good level of conversation with him. I thought most kiddies his age were able to talk that well but apparently not!!! Do you think his mind is just in over-drive?

sacha28

Oh and to rub salt into the wound......had a text from my OH at 6.30am to say Cody had slept ALL NIGHT and had just woken up. I had been up for 27 HOURS by that point. Happy for OH, most upset I didn't benefit

And no, nothing different happened last night. As I said, no pattern!!!