A Singularly Lonely Christmas

Lilyplonk

It was exactly the same for my mother for the majority of my parents marriage.

Dad was in the Army when they first met (National Service) then he went working as a Removals Second-man then Long-Distance Lorry Driver. She would see him maybe for 2days a week after that.

As we got into our teens, he went onto 'permanent nights - 7nights per week' with 2 weeks paid holidays a year. She had to manage us kids and household stuff without 'his active participation'. She also developed 'her own friends/social life (Bingo!) - so maybe that's why it comes so naturally to me as well.

Unfortunately, Dad died at the age of 54 but luckily 'mum's independence' turned into a blessing as she adjusted to her change in circumstances quite well.


There are also all those women whose husbands work away from home for whatever reason - oil-rig workers / ferry workers / Armed Forces / Merchant Navy - who find themselves married but living the life of a 'singleton' for much of the time.

candlelight_2013

I would just like to say, just like VJs Mum, although not in a single position, I have found this thread inspiring and I marvel at the imagination of the posters. What started out as LB thinking she was going to have a very lonely Christmas, has blossomed into a wonderful thread full of ideas not just for singletons but for all looking for other interests.

I have lurked, but not posted but I would just like to say please don't close it. I am sure there is room for us to be separate, and there are many people who wish it to stay,

Candlelightx

skogar

:beer:
I'm another lurker. I've really enjoyed reading all of your plans and ideas. When I saw the suggestion to close the thread I thought it was a shame that it should be closed but then I thought that the thread now is very different to its title - much more cheerful. I then I thought that maybe it is time for a new thread with a positive sounding title for the New Year. I was going to suggest it but LavenderBees has beaten me to it and has a much better title for the thread than the one I came up with. So hopefully when LavenderBees starts the new thread I'm ready to jump. :j

spirit

I have been divorced (I petitioned him) for 10 years now. I have a son of 28 at university oop t'north and a daughter of 25 down south here and who is getting married in Sept.

I have 3 cats, all belong to DD and who found out she was allergic to them shortly after badgering the life out of me to get them! she scooted off to uni after that and, well, I kind of love them now. DD 'made' me adopt one from Cats Protection. He is about 10 years old now. The other 2 I had from kittens. The vet said when i took 1st kitten for her jabs that I shouldn't have just 1 kitten and an older cat or older one will get annoyed and give her a fourpenny one; I should really have 2 kittens.....

I had chickens until a month ago. i loved/love them, but was finding that I just didn't have enough time. Especially this time of year, I just didn't see much of them, only at weekends. I had 9 of them, 2 were ex battery rescues. It was a hard decision, but the home they have gone to is amazing. She is a rescue hen co ordinator and has 20 of her own hens plus ducks etc. I get regular updates on them as we are Faceache friends. Something you might want to take into account LB. also being on my own, there was no one I could ask to look after them, so no holidays or weekends away for me.

Edit to add, if I was unwell, I still had to go out in the rain/cold/dark to let them out, feed and water them and the same at night. There was no one I could ask. This is the main bit I don't miss!

I belong to the local Meetup group but haven't been on any events for a year. The reason for this is just that they also have mainly restaurant meetups and I have been doing the 5:2 diet since May (lost 3 1/2 stone so far)

I do a lot of knitting, I've made lots of things for babyloss charities and am now making some chemo caps. There are a few people i've heard of recently who have got breast cancer and undergoing chemo.

I love gardening, I'll miss the hens in the Spring and Summer since they used to 'help' me dig the garden and de-worm/bug it!

Nuff for now I think!

ArthriticOldThing

I too have been a lurker but not poster on this thread and would hate to lose it. As a widow living on my own it has given me so much heart and hope.:grouphug: I think it would be great to keep it going with another name.

calicocat

Hello, and welcome spirit.

It is hard with animals on your own isn't it. When I had to have an operation a few years ago this was a massive worry and pain to organise. I couldn't do a thing for weeks really, and still had the little mutt. He couldn't go into kennels due to health problems of his own, and was a little git with people at times. So coordinating who he would be best with was murder and very stressful.

It all worked out ok in the end, apart from I took him back home too soon and ended up doing my back in as well due to picking him up (dog was old and had bad back) the wrong way due to the op i'd had.

Was quite funny in the end as neither of us could walk properly for a week.

Little mutt was my world though, and difficult when living alone to feel that when he was away he was safe and getting all his meds etc.

I only have asbo-cat now, and I know people who dare come in and feed her, so have more freedom now......and less worry.

spirit

Thanks for the welcome calicocat. Animals are great aren't they. Whatever kind of day you've had, they are there to talk to and fuss over to bring things back into perspective.

greentiger

I'm not single, nor lonely. But I found this thread inspirational, not in the least "woe is me" - puts me to shame for not making more of an effort to try different things. I've enjoyed your journey, LavenderBees,and those of your fellow travellers (although "enjoyed" may not be the right word). I hope you get to travel on x

topsyturphy

I too lurk on this thread, although I am married. I have gained some wonderful ideas for new interests that won't cost an awful lot of money and suggestions where to meet like minded people. I too think it would be a shame if this thread closed.

groatie_queen

I think ~ 44,300 views in 39 days says this thread is pulling in a lot of people - that is slightly over 1,000 views per day.

I feel there is a place for an OS singletons thread. The daily chat thread is a bit different, as it is just chat, which is fine as it is its only purpose.

This thread has been about sharing ideas for things to do/ ways to meet people / in an OS manner. Quite often singletons have less disposable income than families as we have the running costs of accommodation, maintenance, utilities, food etc from a single source of income. This makes OS very important to us singletons, and for me I really appreciate the fact that 'singleton resources' are being shared in one specific thread on the OS board.

Please don't evict us, Pink! I feel there's a continuing need for what LavenderBees has started. Can the thread not simply be re-named and kept here on OS?