A Singularly Lonely Christmas

calicocat

It is quite a bonkers time of year isn't it.

I know a fair few people who don't really do what they would like to be doing.

Those alone when they don't want to be. Those stuck with people they practically hate. Those working and don't want to be (I have a huge guilt about that if mum is stuck on her own, but nothing I can do about it). The insane pressure to be doing amazing things with amazing people. The paranoia some feel if not doing fancy stuff. The assumptions people make about others and what they should be doing or may be feeling as it conforms with their ideals.

Yes.......xmas is bonkers.


And don't get me started on the trolley bashing in the shops....pure aggression from people who the rest of the year probably quite pleasant....lol.


I am meant to be going to a friends for a quick bit of lunch xmas day before night shift....but i'm actually thinking I may just say that i'll turn up for just the dessert and have ice-cream...

LavenderBees

Hah! This thread is nothing to do with me...it took on a life of its own with all the lovely suggestions and interaction from you all :T

Regarding volunteering, Mummybobble, you may find you can't volunteer now, as the main charities seem to be becoming full or have already organised themselves with who they've got already. People do drop out though, so still worth investigating if that is what you want to do. I had a phone call this week and was rapidly promoted to Team Leader for my shift on Xmas Day as people have dropped out...and I haven't really any idea what I'll be doing as a volunteer team member let alone team leader.

TBH, if your children are just going to be away from you for a few hours, it might be nice for you to enjoy a wee pamper or prepare a lovely little celebration meal for them to come back to.

LB xx

boddy

What a positive inspiring thread.. Have loved reading it.

I live in South East Northumberland. I am a volunteer in a nearby hospital and have gained so much from this.

I love Christmas and the family and friends side of it. Hate the adverts and how they show how perfect Christmas should be. How we should be spending lots of money on food and presents. Stuck in my throat a bit this year with people struggling so much and food banks.

I will be with my daughter and family and we haven't gone overboard and we will enjoy our day together. Sounds awful I know but by tea time I just want to come home and me and the cat will snuggle up.

I will also plan little outings over the festive period. Some great ideas on here.

LavenderBees I love how the thread has developed for you. So glad your nice neighbour has accepted your invitation. Looks like you will be making lots of lovely new friends. If you ever fancy a coffee or a visit to museums or Art Galleries just drop me a pm. Will be following the thread.

karren

this thread has really made me realise how lovely people can be, I read it first of all thinking
by end of it i thought
I work in a hospice and without our wonderful volunteers we wouldnt be able to do what we do, so for all the volunteer suggestions i say
and you sound like your going to have a lovely break doing just what you want to do, the addverts etc get on my nerves as ive a 14 and 10 year old and although trying to bring them up without all the nonsense its hard so grr to adverts.
thank you for sharing your ideas etc as they all sound superb and if you do half you plan its going to be a xxx

brunettifan

Some lovely suggestions, hope it works out better than you expected.

strandedinaber

What a wonderful thread! I commented on this when I first saw it, and it's so wonderful to read through all the comments now. LavenderBees, your plan for the holiday period sounds absolutely lovely. I would love to read your reports on your holiday as you go and hope you have a fabulous time

LavenderBees

Awwww, thanks for your good wishes. It's already working out better than I expected in that I'm now thoroughly looking forward to my time off work and the activities I have planned...3 and a half days to go....not that I'm counting :rotfl:

LB xx

calicocat

Well I have asked my friends if it would be ok to just turn up for the dessert and they clearly think I need my head looking at.

Thing is I need to get some sleep before work after mum leaves in the morning....they are also having a 5 course lunch from 3pm......yes that's 5 courses.....after that I will have a food baby and never in a million want to go to work!

Now I don't know what to do.....spend most of day by myself (or asleep)....or go out so I don't feel like a sad-bunny but feel full up and tired and like i'd rather stick pins in my eyes than go to work.

I asked them i'd I could think about it for a couple of days as I think it may well pay to ditch the meal bit (other than ice-cream naturally) and pop down later....except I got a feeling that this may not be ideal for them as they know they are going to all be asleep by then.


I dunno.......its a conundrum......

groatie_queen

Hi LavenderBees and everyone else,

Thanks for raising this topic, there are some great ideas. I too live alone, and my children live abroad, with no close relatives nearby. Christmas can be a tricky time! I'm going to friends on the day, but I know how easy it can be to feel like the spare wheel. It helps to have a balance of activity days with rest days, I find.

Singularity, however is not just for Christmas, so I will be adopting some of the great ideas mentioned to use past the so-called festive season, and re the rest of the year, I'd like to mention the U3A.

For anyone who is semi-retired or retired, there are loads of classes, groups and outings available through their local U3A - University of the Third Age. I think age-wise U3A members tend to be mid-50s or older.

I joined my local U3A because I had moved house to a town where I didn't know anyone, and wanted to make new friends. It's a while before I retire fully, but I've made some great friends already and from all sorts of backgrounds. It's a low cost way of trying out all sorts of activities, led by the talents/interests of other U3A members. I started up a Scrabble group, none of us are competitive and we help each other out when we get stuck for words, and we enjoy each other's company.

Our U3A has a Saturday morning drop-in gathering at a local cafe, and it's become part of my weekly routine. I'm much happier as a result, as it means I talk to someone who knows my name for a couple of hours each weekend! If I have nothing else planned, this keeps me social, I have some interesting chats and keep any Black Dog tendencies at bay.

If I felt I needed more social outlets, I'd look at special interest organisations to join - it doesn't need to be something expensive. Chances are, shared interests will lead to making like-minded friends.

I'll keep checking in for further inspiration and to see how you're doing!

LavenderBees

Excellent post, thank your groatie queen. Thanks for taking the time to let us know what you do and that you find U3A very useful.

Have a lovely Christmas, and absolutely, pop back and keep us updated with your "doings", and I'll be doing the same...wouldn't dare do any other now most of MSE seem to have helped me with my plan :rotfl:

LB xx

ETA - I know that I feel ok about spending time alone providing I have something sociable to look forward to. That seems to be the key thing for me.