Fed up

whitewing

You still have time to have children, whether your own or stepchildren. I know someone whose mum had him when she was 48.

You still have time to get married, if that is what you want, and celebrate a silver wedding anniversary.

40 is not old. It is a time when you have some really good life experience behind you and are much less bothered, most of the time, about what other people think.

I am sorry that your partner died when you were so young. I should think it is very difficult to move on from that, but you are not doing your partner a disservice by having a happy life and future. I do believe that we hold people in our hearts and it does not lessen the love we had for them to connect with other people.

Maybe you could ring Cruse http://www.cruse.org.uk/ and have a chat with someone who will know how bloomin hard today is for you.

GeeBee38

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

Well I believe you should "embrace" your wallowing today! So you need to find a good dvd (or 10!) or if u can afford it buy a new one (Tesco does dvds for like £3/4) And get yourself a take-away if you can afford it.. if not, then at least cook something u really like (and DO NOT do the washing up afterwards!!) Then snuggle under duvet on the sofa and eat some sweets/chocolates.

And then tomorrow, look forward - If you want children, then how can this be achieved? Could you foster, as someone else suggested? Fosterer's are always in demand - its not the quickest process BUT if you commit to it, then you will feel you are being proactive. Or could you get an animal - lots of poor animals out there in local rescue centres who would LOVE to come and spend your next birthdays with you!!


xxxxxxxx

Thank you for the kind wishes, i really havent got any money to get a dvd or a takeaway, never mind, but i will have a early night and snuggle under my duvet.

I think fostering is out of the question for me, tho it is something i would love to do, i had a mental break down when my partner died, so i know this goes against you in the future.

Think i will just have to accept it

Like i said, i will be ok tomorrow thank you x

Brighton_belle

Geebee, being a single and childless woman on your 40th birthday when that is not what you really wanted is very tough. So don't beat yourself up for feeling so low today.
I'd really recommend some counselling/life coaching but alas this general costs quite a lot of money and I appreciate you don't have that.
Don't expect much of yourself today but perhaps write down 5 things, however small, that make you feel a flicker of happiness in side, and then work out how you can start getting more of that in to your life - with small steps.
After a decade of rubbish birthdays generally alone, I spent my 36th completely alone with no presents or cards as I had just moved to a completely new town and no one knew where I was.
I promised myself that would be the last time I would be alone on my birthday (I had spend the previous 6 months, after a light bulb moment in hospital, that I was going to have to be brave and make radical changes to have a chance of improving my life).
I made big changes and lots of small ones and gradually brought good people into my life and hobbies I enjoyed.

You are not alone GeeBee - many of us have had very lonely birthdays and felt like we were on the outside looking in on others apparently fuller lives. Hang on to the fact things can change with small steps by yourself.

whitewing

GeeBee38 wrote: »

.

I think fostering is out of the question for me, tho it is something i would love to do, i had a mental break down when my partner died, so i know this goes against you in the future.

I am not surprised you had a breakdown, it must have been such a bad time.

But I think you need to find out if it actually would go against you. You may just be thinking it will, or have outdated experience.

alyth

GeeBee38 wrote: »

Thank you for sharing your story with me, and i do think losing a pet is just as hard, they are part of the family

I wish i had the money to up and leave, i would move tomorrow.

I hope you have found happiness in china, i wish you well

if you want to see real misery I have a blog -arwen.wordpress.com - life in China is not a bundle of laughs but I'll never give up (don't real this until tomorrow!).

But I can tell you categorically from being out here that money does not bring you happiness. Thanks to a divorce settlement I'm good, I decided to follow my dreams and teach in China, no amount of money in the world can bring me a decent coffee, a bacon roll or a temperature of above minus 10 during the day!

I want to tell you that one day you will look back on this day - you won't laugh, far from it, but you will remember, that's why I want you to do something special and nice for yourself today. I had my lovely 40th birthday watching panda videos which encouraged me to study and move here. If you have things that remind you of your partner then look at them, cry, and then remember that he's sitting on a cloud looking down on you thinking "for the love of god woman, don't give up".

GeeBee38

Thank you everyone, after reading Brighton belle & alyth posts, i am a bit overwhelmed at the moment, i think i need to come away from this thread and read it over again later, i need to clear my head, i will read your blog alyth but it won't be today, i feel tearful enough.

Sorry about this everyone, but i will come back later, i just need some time out, before i get over emotional

Thanks again, i'll be back later x

bigmomma051204

Please don't assume that you wouldn't be able to foster due to past mental health issues. If it had happened really recently, then yes they might encourage you to wait a while, for your own sake if nothing else... but actually, I don't believe that a mental health issue which happened for a very valid reason 5 years ago would count "against you". Also, the process is not quick - this is because it is thorough... they wouldnt let you continue with a lengthy (and costly to them!) process if they knew from the start that they would say no...

Worth a try if you feel its something you could do....

yvonne13_2

GeeBee38 wrote: »

Sat here on my own, i haven't a penny to my name on my 40th birthday, how depressing

Happy Birthday sweetie :beer: You're not alone we're here
I hope I haven't missed the candles being blown out on your cake.

teawithmilk

Happy Birthday GeeBee!

GwylimT

Happy Birthday.

Its also Dr Who day today, you can't be sad on Dr Who day!