Apple muncher's number crunching

apple_muncher

Is it really only a few days into the half term...? It seems like at least a couple of weeks.

VI form info eve last night and I rushed home, made sure dc was fed, grabbed some scrambled egg and took them back with me for a couple of hours. It was  good evening, but oh! so tiring.

Tonight, I had a short meeting after sch and then rushed home so dh could go to work. Took dc to dance and walked back (it's 11 mins on foot,so i leave the car and get a little exercise in - all downhill home but all very uphill going back!) had tea, went and got them. 20 mins after getting them home and feeding them more bacon, they say that they do want PJs for tomorrow's PJ day at sch. But none of their PJs are ones they would wear in public. So we trundled out to t0sc0. Sigh. but fortunately we did find some suitable ones. Plus some boy l/s tee shirts. So, a success. Except that I've not yet changed the clock in the car and it was reading 9.30, so I'm all ready to suggest just going to bed when we get home. Then realise that it's an hour fast now and there's still a whole hour before beds can be occupied!

Tomorrow is Friday. Phew. It seems pretty sure that dc will last the day, given that they want to wear their new jammies. But, I've planned my day off before and not got it, so I should have learned to keep quiet really...

Sat, we have a bouldering session booked for dc, so we need to leave the house by 8.30 latest. they also have afternoon dance. So should be very very knackered by the end of the day.

It's just coming up to 9, so I can head upstairs!

peb

Wishing DC well for today.  

apple_muncher

Thank you all for the continued lovely messages and suggestions. They are all most gratefully received, and the  'thanks' button doesn't do them justice

apple_muncher

Friday ended up being full on. Thought dc was going to have either a quiet evening at home, or go to youth (where dh was helping out, so I'd not need to drive.) Neither. Quite last minute, they chose to go to the fashion show run by the VI form at sch. And I needed to go to, as support. It was thoroughly enjoyable. (But very very loud, and although we had a nice walk home, my ears were still ringing for aages.) Also got to bed late.

Up by 7 and out to bouldering where dc had a fantastic time and made a friend. Then we hit the sainz where I'd parked as dc now says they want some joggers. 3 pairs found, plus some awesome chunky black, silver studded boots. But later home than anticipated. Early lunch and I realized that dc was cutting their nails. So I popped upstairs to cheerily ask if they wanted me to wash their hair (having mentioned last night it needed a wash). Then cheerily asked if they'd been cutting their nails, and where had they got the nail scissors from. Got ranted at for not getting them the nail scissors -i pointed out that they had not even asked for them, had only mentioned about trimming them to make bouldering easier, and if as they thought, they had asked and I hadn't gone and got them, then they should ask again for them. Then got told that we hadn't hidden the scissors well enough cos they knew where to get them. Oh boy!

So, out to dance. I took myself for a walk around the park a couple of times then sat in the car sewing up eyes for giraffes. Dc spent the journey home complaining about the dance teacher, and going on and on and on. I pointed out that they regularly moan about her and I have suggested before stopping the classes. Not the right thing to say...

Got home and remembered I needed to return a bunch of library books. So went to get the bus, which kept moving back a minute at a time and was 7 mins late (we are only 5 mins Max from the starting point of the route...). Sigh.

Was helping dc do their Spanish hwk -at their request- while dh prepped their tea. They blew up at me, scribbled out some perfectly good work and took themselves upstairs with their tea, their laptop and phone, and their Spanish book (!). So, of course, I'm sat downstairs wondering if they are planning to damage themselves... They were on the phone to a friend for well over an hour (so glad we don't pay per minute any more, like when I was their age) but did complete the hwk.

So, tomorrow. Dh is on PA so has to go to church early. I figured dc would go with him, as planned, and help at kids klub. But wanted to make sure that they weren't going to change their mind and stay home, as I planned to walk to the gym, do a workout and either walk or get the tram/bus back. All at a relaxed pace. The gym opens at 8, so if dc was staying at home, I couldn't go as dh needs the car from 8.30. Well... dc at 8pm says that they are going to a different church tomorrow morning. So I'm driving them. I am gutted. But have messaged a friend who helps with the youth there, and am just dropping dc off and picking up at the end. And planning to go to the gym in between.

Have told dh. Have said that I am not coping. Have said that it has been 4 days straight of full on dc. By myself. And then more tomorrow. Have said that I need him to offer to help/do things. And not wait to be asked. Why? Because he has made it bl00dy clear just how bl00dy busy he is with bl00dy computer work. A l l  t h e  b l 0 0 d y  t I m e. Oh no, dc takes precedence over that. And I take precedence over dc. Well, says I, it doesn't seem that way. Pointed out that that was the first time he had said that to me.

So now, I'm still the one putting dc to bed.

Now dc has pointed out that I need a break. They have so little idea that they are the one I need a break from. But that is how it should be and no way do I want them to know that.

Apologies for the rambling and ranting. I don't even know if it will make sense as I'm writing on the tablet, so finger typing. I'll post it anyway as last time I wrote a post and went to do something, I lost it!

VintageHistorian

Feel free to ramble and rant apple. You're anonymous, this is a relatively safe space (bar risk of trolls), and you need to get it out somewhere. You can't carry a full bucket for long, sooner or later it has to be released or there'll be a bad spill.

f0xh0les

Hugs apple.  Nothing useful to add, just hugs.  Hang on in there.

Karmacat

apple, thats all *so* full on.  I understand why, but you're right, your dh needs to step up.  Maybe cut and paste the above into a document, and read it out/show it to dh, when you're sure dc can't hear the discussion.  That's enormous - I'm just glad you made sure to post it on here.  All the best.

apple_muncher

Thanks, guys.

Today has been better ish. I got to the gym and did a max session, getting back to collect dc on time (and then they finished 25 mins late, d'oh!). I've also done 3 loads of laundry.

This afternoon, we have completed Chem hwk. And swapped dc's small drawers unit with dh's which is substantially bigger. I was planning to swap dc's with mine, but that would have involved getting it over the bed, as well as getting dc's unit back over the bed to replace it. So we have all been busy bees. and it is done. It was a  pretty massive job. Phew.

Dc is wiped out physically from yesterday's bouldering plus being out late on weds, thurs, fri too. They prob won't want to go to sch tomorrow but I'm trying to keep them off the subject and have nicer things going on in their head... Tomorrow has swimming... I'm hoping to leave that one for dh to sort out in the morning...

I have sent a couple of work emails, which is good - and had replies which makes it worthwhile. Better than waiting for Mon morning and scrabbling to fit them in.

Re what I wrote above, I must bear in mind that it only presents my point of view. Some times, I cope with it; some times I don't. Dh did suggest resigning from the sch lock up/assistant caretaking job, to be around more with dc. (he's currently out 4.45-6.30pm ish Mon-Fri) I'm not sure he really meant it as I'm sure he'd still be upstairs on the computer for that time rather than pottering around with dc...cynic that I am... Hopefully he will do some of the Saturday stuff, esp as dc loved bouldering so much, and I think it is something dh would also enjoy...

We'll see...

apple_muncher

Dh and I walked up to our local coffee shop for a coffee today. It was good to chat.

I found a navy hoodie and a black puffa coat for dc, for £6. And they like both items, which is a plus, as they are at the age where I don't always judge the dis/likes accurately...

Got several things done from my list today, and think I may have found a solution to a situation that just whirrs around my brain at frequent intervals. Overall, I think my list is decreasing, despite having items added on daily.

I have two fairs lined up. Well, only one is definite at the mo! And am considering buying a card reader/gismo thingy so people don't have to pay cash...

apple_muncher

Managed to get through the day, mostly by avoiding most people.

Sorted out a couple of majorly stressy things, which was a really good outcome.

Suffice to say that dc didn't have a good day and will be staying off sch tomorrow as they are not fit to go in. They also dropped their phone tonight when we were waiting for the bus (to go to their gcse options info evening). It was such a simple, clean drop. But it has killed the phone. Dh is still doing what he can to salvage the info on it (he's good like that!). Dc had a meltdown/reaction to the day + evening that lasted 90 mins. So I am very glad they are now in bed and tomorrow I only have to half wake them to say goodbye. They won't even be doing online learning.

Tomorrow I need to do some exercise so am thinking of stopping off by a park on the way home and trying to jog for 20 mins. If I can get away promptly then I should be able to...