Apple muncher's number crunching

apple_muncher

Hmm. Often having trouble getting to sleep at the moment. After my last visit to mum, my balance/ear issues got much worse, and looking up and down, turning my head, or laying down made me feel nauseous. It has been on and off like this for about 3 weeks somaybe, just maybe, I should getit checked out...

Headspace was useful - did the 10 day trial. I have asked dh to sign me up for a year (hs offered 2 months free when signing up for a year; dh found a 25% off deal - thanks greent- thus garnering 3months off thesame). I've not done it for nearly a weekand do feel the lack.

Eating 'properly' has been hit andmiss and I have, on several occasions, simply stuffedmyself withnon-food rubbish, which does not help my mood.

I have done several days of lonnng walks, getting over 22k steps twice! Some days, it is relaxing and others, it is a chore as I have 'jobs to do'.

A holistic approach is the only way to do it.


I have my annual blood test today, and have made an appointment for 9 days' time to seemy dr about a) theresults and b) if I still need time off. (One of thethoughts I had last night was where to go at work if I needed a good cry - not something one should be planning...) By the time ofmy appt, we should know if the cancer has spread - all delayedby 3 weeks - and ifmum is at her house yet.

This week is dh's last week of 4 doing the stand-in daytime caretaker's job and the evening lock-up. He will be happy to have time again, although the money will be useful.

The mortgage is still slowly going down. We are not spending much money on 'stuff', the car is hardly being used so the latest tankful is lasting ages.

Sorry for the blethering. Thinking straight is like wading through treacle with lead boots on.

apple_muncher

Oh bum. Dh has just heard that his father has died. They have been estranged for many a decade, he wasn't invited to our wedding, but it is still gut-wrenching news. He has managed to get hold of his brother and sister, which is good. I repeat, oh bum.

Watty1

So sorry to read news. I do understand as haven't heard from my own father in years and I did wonder if he was ok the other day. Such a difficult time.

greent

Sorry to hear the news. I was estranged form mine when he died - doesn't make it easy to deal with

So sorry the apple family is having such a rough time recently xx

apple_muncher

Thank you watty and greent. Dh seems quite pragmatic about the whole thing.

Elsewhere, where are we up to?

Dd had a great parents evening . She had Friday off - a nasty cough and cold caught up with her, but she is mending well.

Dh's eye op doesn't seem to have had the hoped-for success, bringing down the eye pressure. I don't think he expected it to work! Now his caretaking work is back to minimum, he can do more computery stuff, which he enjoys.

I am going up to mum's on Monday for a couple of days, the results of thr CT scan are on tues, and big sis has asked me to be there. We have already decided against any radiotherapy (they would need a bloomin good set of arguments to change our stance) as it is 10 consecutive days (I think) in a hospital many miles away, and would wipe mum out. Why put her through that? Once those results are in, I can narrow down the possible residential places we may need to visit, as although mum is going 'home' onMon (doesn't remember the place, thinks we all grew up there...), we are not convinced that it will work out successfully for too long.

We continue to pay bits off the mortgage and the EF is still intact. We are spending very little outside of bills and food, and travel, but dd is not going without! I confess to buying a year's subscription to Headspace and dh wants a fitbit or suchlike for Christmas.

Once again, enough blethering.

muddywhitechicken

Just caught up on your diary apple - blimey you & your family are having a rough time at the moment

Dodgy hugs from me to you :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

MWCx

apple_muncher

Thank you MWC. All hugs gratefully accepted.

I am off to bham this morning as big sis is bringing mum home today. We get the scan results tomorrow and sis wanted me there - 2 pairs of ears will retain more of the info.

I do need to have a LBM re my eating habits. A few consecutive days of a second coffee coupled with poor food choices (aka stuffing my face with rubbish in between meals) have resulted in aching hands and hurting feet. I am a plonker!

apple_muncher

So, we have the results of the CT scan: the cancer has not spread, although it was v deep towards the back of the chest cavity and leaves a few seedlings. Chemo is ruled out. Tablets that stop oestrogen getting to the remaining seedlings are being taken. Radiotherapy is going ahead but we can cancel proceedings before we start. I am still against the radio treatment as I reckon the distress to mum far outweighs the benefits. Big sis isn't so sure, as she wants the remaining cancerous cells killed off once and for all, not being left with a 30% chance of regrowth. The jury is still out for now.

Mum's memory is much worse. I'll not go into the details, but she will never be 'mum' again. She really needs care 24/7 and is lost and afraid. Very sad.

Dh has decided not to attend his dad's funeral, which means that we can crack on with clearing my dad's house. Whether we have one of us doing a gazillion tip trips or hire a small skip remains undecided. I know we already have about 30 sacks of papers and 15+ of rags. Just how many sacks can be fitted into a golf, assuming only the driver is in it???

A downstairs radiator has decided to leak on us. Sigh. So we are draining the system. Sigh. We have a new valve already for it, but dh is toying with replacing the radiator. Eek! Just as the wind starts coming from the north...

I see my GP tomorrow for blood results and a review of my being off work. A week ago I was making plans of how to do a phased return; but after visiting mum, I have gone backwards and anxious again.

Not a cheery or cheering update. Respect to any who read to the end! And it helps me to realise that I am still able to summarise the situation.

User1489

Well done, even writing that down must be difficult. Keep us updated, the community will support you, and talk to us when you need to.

MvM x

Watty1

Well done for writing it down. Hang in there. Rooting for you x