Apple muncher's number crunching

Pearla*Merle

Thinking of you all lots, Apple & sending much love & hugs xxxxxx

apple_muncher

Thank you MvM, Watty and pearla.

I have had an incredibly sociable day! I met a friend/colleague for coffee and she bought me a bucketful of the stuff. She listened to my account of the last week, shared her personwl experience and was generally very good for me. I also walked the 3 miles to the rendez-vous point (but got the bus back!)

Then dh and I walked down to our local harvester to meet some good friends,who are helping us with probate, money, cancer, care home stuff. A good meal and great company.

Collected dd on the way back, dropped her home and went to my GP. My bloods are fine, my weird ear is fine, and what did I want as regards my return to work. I requested returning to half a day, adding another half day each week. So I have the paperwork saying that.

Then I emailed my boss and requested a meeting next week, if possible. And the fact that I do not feel more anxious about it all implies tyat it is the right thing to do.

Also had a long chat with bigsis, who may end up taking unpaid leave to look after mum - her own choice, but it does somehow reduce my own guilt at not doing what she is doing, as I know that I could not do what she does - it would destroy me! I told her that I am looking into how to choose a home, fund a home... she told me to also look at places near to her.

Mum tells me it would be nice to see me face to face, as it has been quite a long time. Oooh, 2 whole days, mother!

Planning next week's venture north: I really want bigsis to read Contented Dementia, so have told her that I expect her to do that as a priority, not help us clear the house. We'll see...

greent

Adding more hugs for you and yours, apple. xx

Watty1

Sending hugs also. Great that sister is being so supportive. We all do what we can do in these situations. Your post has been strangely helpful. Mr Watty's brother does nothing re their dad and it drives me bonkers as we have renovated his house this summer (at expense to us) and dealt with his care plans etc etc etc and it has just seemed never ending. Brother has done nothing. It occurred to me for the first time reading your posts that he maybe just 'can't' and I should / could be more understanding. Humbling that. Thank you.

apple_muncher

I am fortunate that big sis is doing what she can, and I am doing what I can. It has fallen into a fairly neat health/financial split where we are each doing what we are best at. (admittedly dh is doing the majority of 'my' stuff). She just lets me know what needs buying and I go online and get it sent there, as she knows what is needed but does not have the brain space left to actually buy it.

We are a good partnership. And our EPA lets us make decisions both jointly and severally, which is the best way to have it.

My dh is amazing; bigsis's dh cannot do anything. That is the way it is and cannot be changed. I consider myself the blessed one!

Talking of being blessed, our friends yesterday brought along a card addressed to us via our church that they had noticed there. Inside was a beautiful copy of Psalm 23 and £30. Totally anonymous. How kind and generous is that!

greent

There re some lovely people in the world apple - and I think some of them have noticed how lovely you and your family are x

smallholdingsister

Just caught up Apple. Sorry for your troubles and I hope going back half a day will help you to establish a new normal.xxx

apple_muncher

Have established contact with work and will return on 31st for the morning. That is y9, 10, 11. So I am happy with that. Will go and talk to head that day too.

A good day together. Dd enjoyed kids klub and even won a prize; I got through church without spending half of it howling and sniffing; dh went to help with pa and wasn't needed.

I have finally mowed the front and back, tidied the gubbins strewn around my side of the bed, sorted out some bits for the ch shop, arranged a playdate for tomorrow, done a wash and read a little.

Mum rang, thinking she was calling big sis' number, then she rang big sis and was cross because one of us had gone out without telling her, and she was worried. Big sis had told her she was going, and was only gone for 30 mins. Without big sis, it would all fall apart for mum.

apple_muncher

Dd and I have had a good sort out of her clothes and now have a massive bag for the charity shop. She loves how clear her drawers are! We have also put away the massive pile of clean laundry that was threatening to engulf the spare room.

I took her to her playdate and was planning on then nipping to sainz to get a few things big sis has requested. On the way to the bus stop, I suddenly could not cope with going, and didn't know what to do. So I simply came home. Dh was home soon after so he came with me to take some stuff to the tip. I have also started to work on clearing the table top that I have covered in piles. Ironic that I am going to my dad's house to clear as much of his gubbins as I can and my own house is full of stuff.

It amazes me just how much the feeling of being overwhelmed immobilises me and makes me unable to make decisions.

Dh has decided to go to his dad's funeral on Weds, so is busy arranging travel, flowers, etc.

I shall collect dd in 45 mins, during which time I shall do some sewing - to reduce some of the pile on the table. Actually, that is all I shall commit to as it always takes longer than I anticipate.

PS paid some more off my stretch target :T

apple_muncher

Dh got someof his additional hours pay today and the rest will come next month. It is v nice to have it spread out.

Hope to be gone by 9am tomorrow. Big sis cannot join us so we shall crack on together: dh running stuff to the tip; me filling more bags/bringing them to the front for him; dd climbing the apple tree. If dh manages to clear all the tip stuff, then he will possibly start on the charity shop runs. It will be a tiring day but should finally clear some space for us. We opted not to get a skip this time - dh's choice and he's the one who'll be doing the trips, so that's fine by me.