Bullying taken a frightening twist

meritaten

well done dori20! you are handling this right!
I don't like the way that schools think that the victim should be the one punished! its plain wrong! its the victim needs the support from her friends and classmates - not the bully!
I would suggest that you contact the school tomorrow to ask if the police have been called in about the knife being found...........if they haven't this would worry me!

Annisele

I'm glad to hear things seem to be moving in the right direction.

dori2o wrote: »

One thing is for certain, facebook, twitter, any other social media is banned on our PC/laptops. Even with supervision we can't ensure the bullying won't start again.

That's the only part of your post that I disagree with. Effectively you're putting your daughter in isolation from the internet - which I think looks like you're punishing her for the bully's behaviour.

(But I say that as someone who gets twitchy when I'm more than a few feet from a device that can access the internet; I may just possibly be biased).

dori2o

Annisele wrote: »

I'm glad to hear things seem to be moving in the right direction.



That's the only part of your post that I disagree with. Effectively you're putting your daughter in isolation from the internet - which I think looks like you're punishing her for the bully's behaviour.

(But I say that as someone who gets twitchy when I'm more than a few feet from a device that can access the internet; I may just possibly be biased).

What we have done instead is to set up our own 'friend book' using email.

I, with agreement and help from her friends parents, have set up free email accounts for them all (my daughters friends) and they can communicate by email either one to one or in a group

It's a bit primitive but we have all set the parent controls, and the parents know the passwords so we can all monitor the messages etc.

It's not the greatest but it allows them to keep in contact.

We've had too much trouble with facebook so it's best to stop it.

flowertotmum

Hi..just that as for not being sure on the home school thing..well neither was i last year..but i did it and have got a great resource in the LEA..they help you advise you and there are lots of brilliant websites dedicated to home schooling. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer but my girls are doing just fine..
good luck
ftm

meritaten

dori2o wrote: »

What we have done instead is to set up our own 'friend book' using email.

I, with agreement and help from her friends parents, have set up free email accounts for them all (my daughters friends) and they can communicate by email either one to one or in a group

It's a bit primitive but we have all set the parent controls, and the parents know the passwords so we can all monitor the messages etc.

It's not the greatest but it allows them to keep in contact.

We've had too much trouble with facebook so it's best to stop it.

I divorced effbook some time ago - yes it can become a 'vehicle' for bullying! better to do as you have done and set up an 'intranet'.

How is DD today? she ok? please set up an appointment with her GP - YOU may think she is coping fine - but, she may well confide in someone outside the situation if she isn't really?

Blackpool_Saver

dori2o wrote: »

What we have done instead is to set up our own 'friend book' using email.

I, with agreement and help from her friends parents, have set up free email accounts for them all (my daughters friends) and they can communicate by email either one to one or in a group

It's a bit primitive but we have all set the parent controls, and the parents know the passwords so we can all monitor the messages etc.

It's not the greatest but it allows them to keep in contact.

We've had too much trouble with facebook so it's best to stop it.

I think you are very calm and level headed, you are coping very well under the circumstances.
I love the friend circle you have set up also....are they able to email on their phones? also consider Skype so they can chat face to face, or if on iphone they can use facetime. Great update, have been thinking about you.

ailuro2

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

My daughter would NOT EVER be returning to that school

what Blackpool Saver said.

Dovah_diva

choccymoose wrote: »

Not read further yet but remove child and inform the lea you are home schooling for the forseeable future. I did this last year

Are you actually educating your child though? Besides, as you'll see when you bother to read the thread, this is not an option for the OP. I actually think that 'home schooling' children is used as an answer for too often and people who are not actually qualified are screwing up their children's chances of a future by home educating without considering exactly what it entails.

OP - how does your daughter feel about being removed from the school and moved to another one? Is she in agreement? I appreciate your need for urgent action, but have you discussed any of your plans with her? I ask because sometimes, in the heat of 'sorting it out' you can overlook the needs and feelings of the one person who matters in all this.

Prothet_of_Doom

dori2o wrote: »

sorry, missed your original post.

My daughter says she was with her friend so yes there would be a witness. The lad however was in a group with 2 or 3 others so no doubt they will back him up.

.

Under the 'right' interegation by a competant police officer with an appropriate adult, and a duty solicitor and a parent, 99.9% of kids would be made to understand how important it is to tell the truth, and would.

red_devil

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

... and how will this actually help?

The boy's parents have been unavailable to the school - sounds like they may know their son is 'trouble' or, conversely, feel he is a misunderstood angel.

Either way, going there is likely to cause an altercation. With altercations come neighbours phoning the police.

Police attend, boy's parents say ' this man came here threatening us and assaulted my husband'... OP gets carted off for breaching the peace at best... assault / ABH if unlucky.

That's one way to get the attention of the police... but not in a good way.

it dosent mean it will go the way you said it will. But it will let them know you arent a mouse?