Bullying taken a frightening twist

bitemebankers

j.e.j. wrote: »

In my experience the Police only ever act if 1) they think they'll get a conviction or 2) they think there'll be consequences for them if they don't (eg if something's a high-profile case)

You are correct, and reason 2 is why several people, myself included, stressed the importance of involving the local MP and the press.

Maybe harsh but it also gives the OP's daughter a lesson in life and human nature

Yes, it is human nature to try to avoid getting knifed. Possibly not on the scale of a "life lesson" though.

choccymoose

If you go on facebook amd search for the izzy dix memorial site there is a copy of a letter sent directly to her mum from Micheal Gove spelling out exactly what schools are expected to do and the powers they have, makes very interesting reading

mountainofdebt

scooby088 wrote: »

I would think the friend is too scared in case they also get threatened or similar happens to them. And in those actions goes to show how much of a friend they were.

And do you know that the friend hasn't already been threatened???

Is all very well sitting there behind a computer screen saying the friend should have more guts but when the chips are down, its her back that she needs to watch

Sparklyfairy

A bit of advice..I'd go back to the police (make an appointment) & demand the lad receives a Harassment Warning. Once he receives this, should he contact your daughter again (face to face, twitter, fb), he'll be arrested. I agree that he should have already been arrested - any knife & threat to harm is worthy of this - but you have other options. This Harassment Warning will stay on his record for life. Whether or not the order will have a shelf life is debatable, obviously if he's not contacted her in 6 months, then harasses her again, chances are a judge would not grant further action iykwim. But the Harassment Warning will remain on his record for life & he'll have to disclose it when applying for jobs, etc. The police don't need any proof of the harassment in order to issue one of these.

My story? I had the most vile little 14year old blighter next door who made my family's life a living hell. Damage to our property, cctv capturing him throwing rocks at my much younger children (+ loads more), nasty shouting. His parents didn't want to know. After 3 years of being constantly fobbed off & due to police cutbacks (yay!) we got a fab new officer inheriting LOADS of cases like this & he wanted it sorted ASAP. He made the old police officer do all the dirty work (go to his vile house & issue the order) which she hated, but she was still in the job. Order was issued & a month later they moved.

I know my issue is different to yours, but I just wanted to point out that you definitely have options. If you can, speak to a new officer that perhaps can take this over & deal with it for you. He should be arrested (if he's over 10, he's legally responsible for his actions..) regardless of where it happened at school or not - DO NOT BE FOBBED OFF, BUT DO NOT LOSE YOUR COOL. So hard to remain calm, but so, so important. You are whiter than white, so is your daughter, ok? I truly believe that some police are actually frightened of these kids/people & don't want to confront them, either. Sad state of life these days. BUT not all police are bad. I truly believe that too. Key is to call them all the time, organise mtg after mtg with them, write them UNTIL THEY DO SOMETHING. A log of everything that has happened is utmost of importance. They will get tired of the calls, mtgs & will realise that it'll be easier if they *act* on this. Think about getting a solicitor involved. It isn't expensive to call one, explain the situation & ask for a letter to be written on your behalf to the school & a copy to the police. It'll show you mean business & are *&^£$%^ angry but in a calm, civilised manner. You can negotiate the price (£20-£30-ish?) for the letters with the solicitor. LEA's don't often get involved, unfortunately, but a letter should be sent explaining everything. MP's I'm unsure about but I'd definitely go to the paper (local, potentially national) but yes, you'd have to ensure your daughter is protected. NEVER LET HER SET FOOT IN THAT SCHOOL AGAIN! You are doing the right thing by moving her. I think you're incredibly pro active, for that I applaud you! Good luck with it all (sorry for my rambling!) but these little freaks will be the criminals of tomorrow & take away too many of our liberties as it is. Hth, SF XXX

notanewuser

dori2o wrote: »

Thats something we have been thinking of, but I work almost full time (34 hours over 4 days monday to Friday) and my wife isn't confident enough for her to teach our daughter.

It would mean the school week being Friday - Sunday plus a bit each evening. Not sure if that would be do-able or acceptable.

Will look into it a bit more.

Find your local homeschooling groups. Homeschooling doesn't mean parents teaching everything.

jackieblack

Sparklyfairy wrote: »

But the Harassment Order will remain on his record for life & he'll have to disclose it when applying for jobs, etc. The police don't need any proof of the harassment in order to issue one of these.

It seems incredibly unfair, and open to potential malicious misuse/abuse, that something that requires no proof should have such far reaching/long lasting consequences :eek:

(Just in general, not about this thread or your, or anyone elses, specific situation)

hazyjo

bitemebankers wrote: »

Is it? One kid has been threatened with a knife, online and in person. Said perp has been found with a knife on them. And the police are refusing to act. Hardly misplaced concern.

You misunderstood. I meant the parents of the 'other child'. that child hadn't been been targeted/bullied. The parents must be concerned that if their child gives evidence, their child risks being a target themselves.

Not my stance, I have to say. If I had kids, I would want them to tell the truth and defend their friend.

Jx.

rpc

Put in a complaint about the police.

Possession of short blades may not be illegal, but threatening to stab someone with one is. You have a copy of the threat made on facebook so it's not like it's the bully's word against your daughter's!

There is this perception that bullying is a school matter, but when bullying turns to criminal behaviour the police need to act.

I'd also be writing to the Councillors and local MPs with your story. Every politician loves the opportunity to be the knight in shining armour (you don't need to mention that you voted for someone else!).

andygb

scooby088 wrote: »

Maybe harsh but it also gives the OP's daughter a lesson in life and human nature.

I find it difficult to believe you have said this.

andygb

mountainofdebt wrote: »

And do you know that the friend hasn't already been threatened???

Is all very well sitting there behind a computer screen saying the friend should have more guts but when the chips are down, its her back that she needs to watch

Yes, and that is exactly the spineless attitude which let Jimmy Saville get away with all his crimes.