Family cut themselves out of my son's life

carolan78

I've been reading your thread pretty much from day one, please don't let their visit set you back mentally.

If they turn up again just phone the police once again, there is no need for you to worry or panic. You have the GP, Family Law and no doubt once the letter has been sent the police on your side, there is nothing she can say or do to get your son took from you and her legal rights to access are practically ziltch. YOU hold all the cards and control here, that os probably why she visited because she has realised this and doesn't know how to handle having the control taken from her x

Angry_Bear

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

They took my son's name and DOB and asked if a SW was involved. This got me scared- will they report this to SS?

Probably, but this is NOT a bad thing. It will mean that SS are aware of your mother's current actions and if she starts calling them trying to cause trouble they will be forewarned.

I facebooked my neighbour as soon as it was happening to warn her not to let anyone in or answer door, she heard it all and I suspect was watching via peephole as her light was on, but that can only be a good thing.

Just a thought, but maybe now would be a good time to ask her to yours for a cuppa. You could take the opportunity to apologise for the trouble (not that it's your fault) and tell her a little of the history. It would mean she's on her guard a little about your mother and might make you feel a little less alone if you get a little more friendly with a neighbour.

I was shaking but surprised myself as I spoke calmly, I normally get all muddled in situations like this. My son is fine, watching Ice Age in his room. Think the noise and my look frightened him a bit, as I was pacing waiting for police, its tricky to plaster on a smile and laugh then.

Good on you! I'm not sure I'd have managed so well in your shoes :T

I feel sick and so worried now- if this is just a random kick-off, what about when she gets the letter?

She might come back after the letter, but she might not. Getting the letter might show her that you're really serious. However, even if she does come back - the police have a little history now so should treat a call as more of a priority, and you know you're tough enough to sit her out if you have to.

Keep strong, and I'm sure I can speak for everyone here by saying that we're so proud of how you handled it.

Ballabriggs

She is achieving the square root of zero in how she is carrying on. In fact she is actually actively sabotaging her chances of future contact because it is you that has had to call the police, it's you that has had to seek legal advice. It's all evidence building up against her, she's not too bright is she?

The police asked about a social worker being involved because they were trying to ascertain the history to the situation. I doubt they'll get in contact with them and even if they do you have taken every reasonable and responsible act a normal rational parent would do (seen your GP, spoken to HV, taken advice from legal centre). I think you'd be seen in a very positive light myself, whereas with all her text messages and the police call she is coming off as a dangerous bully.

You've done brilliantly and I think a nice cup of tea might be in order! Don't drink anything alcoholic in case she comes back.

Well done you!

Dimey

You've done everything right Wiggy.

You are only shaky because your body has pumped adrenalin into your bloodstream in readiness to run. Its a natural reaction. Have a cup of tea and you'll calm down in a while.

The solicitor letter will back you up and hopefully your mum will back off. You have more options if not. A restraining order will be enforceable by the police so if she tried this kind of stunt while you have a restraining order she'd get arrested.

It won't be a problem if the police inform social services. They will want to protect you and Wiglet as much as you do. They'll be on your side.

slightlyconfused1

Tonight was a huge victory for you. You kept your cool and didn't give in. Standing up for yourself gets easier with practice. Tonight you won and your Mum lost. You are doing great.

tiger_eyes

Glad you're okay. You were fantastic - you stayed so strong for yourself and your son. We're so proud of you. Don't be afraid of the police reporting this to social services. It will make people more sympathetic to your case, not less. I mean, your mother is harassing you so badly you had to actually call the police! In no way will social services blame you. Nobody will.

duchy

Squeezes in between Dimey and Meri to stop them bickering and strokes Barnes.

Hang on in there Wiggy it'll be fine ....No-one can force you to see them. Hold your ground.

Your Mum and sister must be insane to put your nephew in this situation.

meritaten

wiggy - this will turn out to be a blessing in disguise! now you realise the police treat the situation seriously! if she turns up again, because of tonight the police will be prepared and come quicker! and you KNOW she cannot get in!
You have dealt with it in a very mature way! it was scary for you - Gawd knows I was scared for you and my heart is still pounding! BUT! you are safe in your home - your son is safe and with you and mum had to 'go away' defeated!
Do NOT worry about Social Services being informed - they have a lot on their plate and they are not going to worry about this! whats to worry about? a mum who dealt extremely well with a traumatic situation and the police wont be raising concerns about YOU! you did everything EXACTLY right!

wiggywoo9

Thank you for all the support. I heard the heavy knocking and thought it was too late for a parcel (I get a lot) and shimmied down the stairs out of way of the window which looks right into lounge. Think I froze when I saw who it was. Whoever told me to change the locks, thank you, to high heaven! You just saved my bacon.

Just feeling sick now, doesn't help I ate a tub of B&J's just before all this!

paulineb_2

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

The police just left. I explained situation, what she's done in past, what I was advised, etc. They wrote all contact details down and said there was no-one down there when they arrived. They said to keep their number, will stay in area in case she returns. They took my son's name and DOB and asked if a SW was involved. This got me scared- will they report this to SS?

I facebooked my neighbour as soon as it was happening to warn her not to let anyone in or answer door, she heard it all and I suspect was watching via peephole as her light was on, but that can only be a good thing.

I was shaking but surprised myself as I spoke calmly, I normally get all muddled in situations like this. My son is fine, watching Ice Age in his room. Think the noise and my look frightened him a bit, as I was pacing waiting for police, its tricky to plaster on a smile and laugh then.

My mum had a look of thunder, my sister looked unimpressed and I don't know- tired of putting up with it, kinda thing? Exasperated? They took turns knocking and running downstairs to ring intercom, which I ignored. They were saying things like 'come on, X' and 'open the door we want to see X', 'stupid child', etc., I could hear through door. My washing machine light was blinking so it was clear I was in, plus my dog kept whining.

I was actually pretty sure they would have physically hurt me, and about 95% sure they'd barge in to take my tot if I opened up. I feel sick and so worried now- if this is just a random kick-off, what about when she gets the letter?

If they report this to social work it could go in your favour, they are in the wrong here, not you.

Also, if you have an intercom and you are being harassed, take it off the hook or put it on silent

If she gets the letter and kicks off, dial 999 and make it clear to the police you fear for your safety.

And ask the police to go and see her and ask her to stay away from you, I had to do that with a neighbour who was threatening me and they visited him and told him, dont turn up on her doorstep again

Also, get back to a lawyer and see about a non harassment order. Asap.