Family cut themselves out of my son's life

meritaten

Happy Christmas Wiggy - I hope its the best one you and Wiglet (and Wigdog) have had so far!
Love
Aunty Meri

wiggywoo9

Thanks, we had a lovely Christmas, it went very well and was a success!

Emailed legal advice about that letter and told police (who dropped off the legal documents photocopied for the case or whatever), that'll be sorted after festive season I guess.

Wiglet's dad came around today and brought two presents, which he loved. He also mentioned he was seeing someone and she knows about wiglet but won't be involved. I brushed this off easily saying that's ok, long as I know no-one's going to come up with him as not comfortable with that in my home, all fine. It's just hit me now though, through this, that wiglet will be my only child. i'm not interested in finding anyone else nor particarly want another child, don't get me wrong, but i'm only 21. it hit me quite suddenly and quite upset. wiglet won't ever have siblings, I won't ever get married or have a daughter like I hoped for when I was pregnant. THIS is my only family. it made me start thinking that, once wiglet grows up in only a few years, he'll be gone too and that'll be it. i'll be alone, with no other half or anything and no child.

sorry, getting bit emotional. I never expected anything from his dad and see so many faults with him as a person that i'd never be able to see him like that, just pees me off. but it felt like a big barrier had come down, ending that all, and thus ending my possibilities. I suppose i'm just worried that I won't have anything really once wiglet is gone. what do I do then? ha, grim thoughts for boxing day, think everything from this year just hit me hard!

paulineb_2

You dont know that for sure, you are 21, you have a long time to meet someone else and make a decision as to whether you have kids or not.

As for being alone, my mum had me at 19, Im now 44 and she cant get rid of me, my brother is 34 (we have different dads), he sees her every week. Shes been on her own for a lot of her life, but she gets on with it and shes certainly appreciated by us.

Dont be too hard on yourself. Even if you are single for a while, theres nothing wrong with that, as you say, you have had a hard time this year.

One day at a time, dont plan too far ahead, the future has endless possibilities and also its a good thing that your sons dad has stepped up and become more involved.

Gigglepig

You are only 21... Who knows what the future will bring. Many people go on to have families or other things they did not contemplate at 21.

mountainofdebt

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

T It's just hit me now though, through this, that wiglet will be my only child. i'm not interested in finding anyone else nor particarly want another child, don't get me wrong, but i'm only 21. it hit me quite suddenly and quite upset. wiglet won't ever have siblings, I won't ever get married or have a daughter like I hoped for when I was pregnant. THIS is my only family. it made me start thinking that, once wiglet grows up in only a few years, he'll be gone too and that'll be it. i'll be alone, with no other half or anything and no child.

why are you shutting doors that don't need to be shut?

yes you may not be interested in finding someone else NOW but given what you've gone through during 2013, you need to give yourself time to 'regroup' and find yourself.

All I would say is keep an open mind........life can be full of surprises!

(good to hear though you had a good christmas!)

Laurajo_2

Glad to hear you had a good christmas wiggy.

You never know what's around the corner - don't spend too much time dwelling on what might or might not happen in the future! Life throws us some funny turns sometimes.

Christmas and the new year are a time of reflection for a lot of people - and this has been a hell of a year for you, it is natural not to feel too optimistic and perhaps a little isolated.

You never know who you might meet and what might happen - even if you choose to stay single, Wiglet might bless you with thirty odd grandkids!

How do you feel about broadening your social circle? I understand it might not be something you feel comfortable with just yet, but it might be something to think about in the new year.

Sending hugs to you and yours xx

sassyblue

I'd be tempted to waste your mums money and write to the solicitor asking for clarification of these 'important legal implications'. Because there are none and they know that.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Wiggy sorry but don't be daft - you have at least 20 more years to find a decent man and have other kids.

duchy

At twenty one and seperated I never thought I'd have a conventional home and family....I spent my twenties building my career -at twenty nine I met my son's father and we married. No-one can predict what the future will bring-At the moment you're right not to be contemplating relationships -you're still finding your feet as a graduate and Mum of a toddler. Once you are qualified and in a steady job and Wiglet is at school (which feels like a lifetime away but really isn't)you will find you have more confidence and a wider circle of friends -and more time......things will change-you will be more open to those changes too. You'll know when you are ready......the time isn't now but it will come .

KxMx

Wiggy i'm sure once upon a time you thought you'd never break free from you mothers control... and look at where you are now