EMA - small rant

zoezoe_3

my mistake

TheWaltons_3

zoezoe wrote: »

You miss my point. If I were on low income then she would get EMA. In fact she could work and get EMA. If she were an independant (which is legal at 16) then she would only get EMA of she did NOT work. So it is not possible for her to leave home, work and get EMA. I can tthink of anybody on a much lower income that a 16 year old working part time at coop !

But she could only pay rent in exceptional circumstances... I thought this was specially for children who were leaving care.. or estranged from both parents...

It's interesting that you need to go back to have your mums support.. whilst leaving behind a young girl also needing her mums support.

At 16, you are her mum. Do kids have that many rights these days they are adult enough to run flats because they decide they don't want to live with their parents?! :eek:

Also, don't you think it's alot to expect for her to work, study and run a flat at such a young age?

Hell.. I struggled at 21!!

Elle00

Hi ZoeZoe,

I do understand your point but the reason she can't claim benefits like IS and EMA is because she doesn't actually need them. If she went with the family she would not be in this situation so as hard as it is to accept, you have to understand that she is choosing to put herself in this position which is not what benefits are there for. You cannot choose to make yourself homeless however if you decided to play the system you could evict her so she becomes entitled to benefits but I really, really do not approve of that.

Because she's 16 she can legally leave home with her parents permission but she'll probably only find somewhere to live if you guarantee her rent until she's 18. You don't have to give her permission though the police would not bring her back if she legged it as it's a grey area. She won't be able to support herself on a part-time wage unless you suppliment her income anyway though will she? Not to pay rent, water, electric, council tax, tv licence, food, toiletries, clothes etc etc etc.

To be honest it's a hard lesson to learn but she can't have her cake and eat it and she's old enough to understand that. Either she works full-time and considers evening classes and home study as a means to furthering her education or she remains in the family home to complete full-time education. At her age I did the earlier option because my family couldn't support me (didn't give me a penny - I paid them rent) as the EMA did not yet exist.

I fully appreciate your reasons for moving and would likely do the same in your situation as you can't put a 16yr old's wants ahead of your own needs while struggling with two very young babies. You have to do what is right for the family unit and she needs to reconsider her options to fit in with what is best for the rest of her family. Best of luck.

speranza

Maybe stop having babies you feel you can't support and try supporting the teenager who probably needs you around now a lot more than she'd like you to think?? Your responsibility as her mother doesn't stop just because she's 16 - I'm 23 and can't imagine how I would've felt if my mum had left me on my own to study and support myself at that age! I realise I sound harsh, but I honestly am totally shocked you think this is an appropriate thing to do.

wisbech_lad

I left home shortly after my 17th birthday as wanted to show I could be independent. Can be done - but after a year of working I went to college.

Oldernotwiser

zoezoe wrote: »

Yes you have. I need support since I have two babies ages 2 and 1. I want to live nearer my family. My daughter is refusing to leave. I dont want to leave her behind but she threatens to leave home if I force her to come with me. Catch 22 really.

I don't understand what you mean about needing more support. You have a partner earning an excellent salary, your own house and a teenage daughter. Whilst it might be nice for you to live near the rest of your family, it hardly comes under the heading of needing support. If at your age you can't see the difference between needs and wants then I find that very worrying. Most people plan their own desires around their children's education so surely your plans could go on hold for a couple of years.

zoezoe_3

my mistake

zoezoe_3

my mistake

zoezoe_3

my mistake

Oldernotwiser

OK, forget about the parenting then, let's look at the money. From what you've described, your daughter won't be leaving home, she's staying put. She won't be eligible for an EMA because her family are over the income threshold but you and she feel that she can earn £350 per month without compromising her studies. As has previously been posted, an EMA isn't intended to support a student of 16 but to give an incentive to stay in education to children from lower income families who may not be able to afford to pay for pocket money and college expenses.

On the money you describe she could probably manage to live fairly well if she wasn't having to pay rent. However, you say that you'll be charging her rent to live in her own family home! As you'll see from other posts of mine, I'm very much in favour of young adults paying their own way, but a 16 year old still in full time education is her parents' responsibility. If you feel she'll be safe at that distance from her family then good luck to you, but why do you feel the need to stop supporting her financially? Perhaps she doesn't need emotional support but she'll certainly need your money.

As far as commenting about your family situation, one can only go on the information as given and you wrote,
"My partner and I have two very young boys and we desperately want to move back to Plymouth where all my family are. We have no family in surrey at all and with two babies really need family support."
Suddenly this has changed to being parents and grandparents who need you more than your daughter does. It's easy to twist the information when you receive comments that you don't like but some of us can read and can remember what was posted earlier!