EMA - small rant

zoezoe_3

TheWaltons wrote: »

This is because you have edited all the bull you have written as you have tripped yourself up several times.

I edited it all out because the whole thread was upsetting me.

Tripped myself up ? What more likley 1) I have been lying on this thread for reasons unknown or 2)Many people have made incorrect assumptions ??

Why do people prefer to believe that they know what is best for other people bassed on a few lines of text ? This was the first and last thread I will start on this forum. I am not sure if you have noticed how many times I have actually been thanked but up until this point i have found MSE a wealth of knowledge and have really enjoyed sharing my money saving tips (and boy have I got lots of them). I had not realised that it was just for gossip and bullying.

At the end of the day I have made a decision on what I am going to do. My decision was made based on discussions with my family over the last few days. And guess what - my daughter still wants to leave home even though I am not moving myself !! I cant do much to stop her, but perhaps when she realises that she has no money she will reconsider.

Gemmzie

Back to the original question zoezoe. There are some important points which you are missing.

If a young person lives alone then they are expected to claim IS, HB and get EMA, as in their time outside college they have to be given reasonable time to socialise, to study and to run their home - therefore, they do not have time for a part-time job enough to support them.
If they do get a job then it needs to be full-time in order to support themselves therefore they do not have time for full-time college which EMA is paid for (remember you they have to be studying 12 hours plus to qualify - that's about 3 A Levels).

I don't think you realise how expensive it is for a young person to live alone. I work with young people too and the number who think they'll move out on their part time £400 a month job and live the high life, only to go crawling home when they can't afford electric, rent or food.
The average age for moving out is now 25 for a reason - young people can't afford to live alone. And I feel awful that the system doesn't better support the ones that have no choice (such as made homeless or left care) so that they can balance education and work.

Tigger36

zoezoe wrote: »

I edited it all out because the whole thread was upsetting me.

Tripped myself up ? What more likley 1) I have been lying on this thread for reasons unknown or 2)Many people have made incorrect assumptions ??

Why do people prefer to believe that they know what is best for other people bassed on a few lines of text ? This was the first and last thread I will start on this forum. I am not sure if you have noticed how many times I have actually been thanked but up until this point i have found MSE a wealth of knowledge and have really enjoyed sharing my money saving tips (and boy have I got lots of them). I had not realised that it was just for gossip and bullying.

At the end of the day I have made a decision on what I am going to do. My decision was made based on discussions with my family over the last few days. And guess what - my daughter still wants to leave home even though I am not moving myself !! I cant do much to stop her, but perhaps when she realises that she has no money she will reconsider.

Makes me wonder why she's so desperate to move out??

TheWaltons_3

Tigger36 wrote: »

Makes me wonder why she's so desperate to move out??

Perhaps because she has found empathy/sympathy/love from an external source and doesn't want to let that go?

Zara33

TheWaltons wrote: »

Perhaps because she has found empathy/sympathy/love from an external source and doesn't want to let that go?

Oh give it a rest! that's pretty low.

TheWaltons_3

Zara33 wrote: »

Oh give it a rest! that's pretty low.

I don't think that is low at all.

ZoeZoe has said she has a boyfriend and is in love. I am only reiterating what her own mother has said.

milkydrink

Zoezoe

There is a better way to parent. You say you were out on your ear at 16 with a baby, I left home almost the day I turned 18. But that doesn't make it right.
People now understand that children who don't have good childhoods don't grow up to be happy adults (often, NOT always).
Its a cycle that gets passed down through the generations.
BUT we know better now. Stupid people are still going to perpetuate this cycle of crappy parenting, but you don't sound stupid.
Because it happened to you does not make it OK to happen to your daughter.
I left school at 16 to go into a dead end job & then left home at 18. I eventually put myself back into education. I didn't have family support & encouragement to stay on in education, but I MADE DAMN SURE MY DAUGHTER DID.

People are so angry because its not right, its not the right way to parent. Look at your babies can you see yourself doing that to them.

My daughter is 20 & shes still in education. Yes, I baby her, but I want her to have as much family support as I can give her. Me & her Step-Father make sure shes supported in every way we can. There is time enough for her to face the big bad world, thankfully she didn't have to like I did.

I'm saying I wanted BETTER for her than I had, why are you saying "it never did me any harm".

Your daughter needs to be told, its not an option. You need to realise its not an option.
Its families with "issues" who face things like this, do you want to be that sort of family?

I have a good relationship with my daughter, she even makes time in her busy social calender to spend some time with me. But first & foremost I am her mother, she has plenty of friends (shes not short of friends). But she only has one mother, as does your daughter. At 16 she is not ready to leave home.