EMA - small rant

pandas66

zoezoe wrote: »

The same as what happens to your son I imagine !! How will he manage for the week ? he will have no EMA money but I am there to feed him!

I really dont follow your question ??? My daughter doesn't even get EMA !!!I was mearly showing you an example of what can happen, sorry to have pointed out to you a real FACT....

Also I can confidently say that my daughter would never behave in such a way. I certainly dont have to get her up in the morning, she has been doing that herself since she was about 10. I wouldn't dream of *having words* with my daughter at the age of 17, if she wants to waste her life in bed thats fine and I have taught her to understand the consequences of her own behaviour - there is no more valuable lession IMO.ThisThis is the 1st time he has slept in! I usually get him up, I canassure you I am no molly coddling Mum but he chose to go back to sleep, my question to you was what would happen to her if she did this. My question to you is also what could you do? If for just a moment you bother reading calmly you would gather I was trying to point out an incident that could happen, I mean its no great drama but the college has its rules.[/quote]
yesterday I could confidently say this wouldn't happen, today I have had 1 hell of a day to and fro from college and work, luckily for me and son and college I work 2 mins from college and only 5 mins drive from home, it still took me 2 hours to sort it all out. I think you have responded to me very bluntly, when I have verbatum given you a lazy 16 year old getting to the end of the college year and thinking 'sod it' for the hour of education. Thanks for throwing it back in my face! you don't particularly want help in this case. Funny how a few people have advice but this really happened and this is the outcome, they wanted me there to explain, could you do this? Will you be this accesable for your 16 year old child?

milkydrink

zoezoe wrote: »

I dont think either of us should criticise at all, we should both realise that its none of our business. The choice you made might be right for you but might not be right for me. I think if we held a vote, not many would agree with moving & leaving a 16 year old behind

I have never mentioned a second mortgage either !! You are just creating a fairy tale. Oh, sorry its just that when you said you couldn't afford to support her, you said you had a £1,000 + mortgage on the property, but you've edited out everything you said, because you realise how much you have back tracked on her. when I said second mortgage I meant that the Surrey house would be your second home as your new one in Devon would be your principal & first home. I didn't presume to assume you were buying the new one outright, you did say your family circumstances were such that you couldn't afford to support your child, I just (silly me) assumed you wouldn't be buying the new house outright.

I dont think my daughter can support herself at 16 and I have NEVER said otherwise but I am not going to provide her with money if she decides to leave home. There have been suggestions on this thread that I shoudl shower her with money but I wont, I am sure she would then think twice about leaving in the first place. This was none of your business and the assumptions that you have all made just plain wrong. Why not stick to the topic ?
So you don't think she can support herself & you're not going to provide her with money?????
This started as you wanted her to be able to claim benefits because you were moving & leaving her behind. You started a rant because she couldn't work & attend college & get benefits (namely the EMA).
You then insist its nobodies business but you own, but you are a £40,000 + per annum family & you want to stop supporting your 16 year old child & have the tax payer assist her through college

I am amussed by how upset you are that I dont agree with your choice, perhaps who can begin to understand how I feel now.
No, sorry I cannot put myself in your shoes, we share nothing in common.

I feel very strongly about dragging my daughter unwillingly with me and I would never consider doing that to her. If I can present her with some agruments for and she changes her mind on her own that is quite a different matter.
You started this to complain that the taxpayers money wouldn't support her & that she couldn't earn enough too & you weren't going to.
Sometimes we have to move & our children just have to come with us. Leaving our child behind is not an option most mothers consider.

Mostly I just think that when people post they should stick to topic and refrain from making assumptions.

Mostly I think women who have children should raise them

TheWaltons_3

kimevans wrote: »

Mostly I think women who have children should raise them

Where they are able to, yes they should - even if it means having them home until they're 25!

Rikki

If my son was 16 he wouldn't have a choice, if I moved he would move. Until he turn 18 he was totally my responsibilty.
Now at 18 we would discuss any such moves, but he is now the one due to leave to go to University discussions over.

As for EMA is there to help and encourage a child to go on to further education. It helps take the financial worry away from low income families about finding money for transport, meals and books neede to enable their child to continue their studies.

My son is just finishing in the sixth form. His school is six days a week and no time for a part-time job. All his financial support has to come from me or if my income was low EMA.

EMA wasn't around three years ago and it may not be aroung in years to come, but while its here I think it give many children access to a brighter future.

zoezoe_3

kimevans wrote: »

Mostly I think women who have children should raise them

I am, I have three children and I am doing an excellent job. I am sure you are also doing an excellent job. This does not mean that either of us are better or worse.

I didn;t not start this thread t ocomplain that my daughter wont get it. I dont want her to get it, I dont want her to leave home - the less money she has the better. I started the thread to discuss why the legislation was such that only students working and living at home can recieve it, I believe that students living away from home (not specifically my daughter but an young person not living at home) would be equally deserving of the financial help the EMA can offer.

When I was 16 my total income was £50 and that was for me and my baby, if I was also given £30 a week I woul dhave been over the moon !! anyway, my intentions were to talk about the merits of the system and I have ended up with strangers thinking I am a terrible mum. I am not, I dont need t oprove it to you but I do wish that you would stop posting stories about what my life might be like.

P.S - buy a second house OUTRIGHT !! PMSL. I was going to stay in my mums spare bedroom !! Really you dont know anything about my circumstances and the story you are making up is pure fiction. We dont even have £1000 in savings so couldnt by a blooming house outright!!

TheWaltons_3

zoezoe wrote: »

I am, I have three children and I am doing an excellent job. I am sure you are also doing an excellent job. This does not mean that either of us are better or worse.

P.S - buy a second house OUTRIGHT !! PMSL. I was going to stay in my mums spare bedroom !! I Really you dont know anything about my circumstances and the story you are making up is pure fiction.

Yes I have to agree with you - this whole thread looks like fiction, like we've all made it up and we are all nuts.

For anyone new to this and reading it through... will think what a bunch of nasty liars we are who put words into people's mouths and fabricate elaborate stories just for sheer amusement.

This is because you have edited all the bull you have written as you have tripped yourself up several times.

button16

Just want to say, earning £350 a week would be doing 16 hours a week on £5 an hour which is being generous. My school only recommended doing 7 hours a week part time work. Working so much I would find very difficult on top of my school work. I work about 8 hours a week on a saturday while doing my a levels. Just something to think about, don't want her messing her exams up from having to work too many hours.

I do receive EMA and get £30 a week. Now I'm in the middle of my A2 exams, I'd hate to think I'd have to do 16 hours a week work as well as my revision.

Tigger36

If you really MUST leave her then please consider a Foyer in your area. She will have a safe environment, won't need to work, can concentrate on her studies and will get practical and emotional support from qualified people. She will also be with other young people of a similar age in a SAFE SPACE. The Foyer staff will help her to find her own tenancy and they will provide ongoing support for as long as she needs it. They will help her to stay healthy and safe. I guarantee that she will need this, no matter how independent she is.
Foyers are there for young people in exactly this situation - I work in one. We have seen mnay young people who have decided to stay when their parents have moved on. I don't agree with it and often they end up moving with their parents when they realise how tough it is. BUT, this will give her some breathing space without unnecessary pressure. Here's a link, PLEASE look at it together. They're not hostels, they're lovely safe places with nice staff and plenty of support. You could always arrange a visit and go together...?
http://www.foyer.net/mpn/topic.php?query=&topic=66

TheWaltons_3

Tigger36 wrote: »

If you really MUST leave her then please consider a Foyer in your area. She will have a safe environment, won't need to work, can concentrate on her studies and will get practical and emotional support from qualified people. She will also be with other young people of a similar age in a SAFE SPACE. The Foyer staff will help her to find her own tenancy and they will provide ongoing support for as long as she needs it. They will help her to stay healthy and safe. I guarantee that she will need this, no matter how independent she is.
Foyers are there for young people in exactly this situation - I work in one. We have seen mnay young people who have decided to stay when their parents have moved on. I don't agree with it and often they end up moving with their parents when they realise how tough it is. BUT, this will give her some breathing space without unnecessary pressure. Here's a link, PLEASE look at it together. They're not hostels, they're lovely safe places with nice staff and plenty of support. You could always arrange a visit and go together...?
http://www.foyer.net/mpn/topic.php?query=&topic=66

Don't be daft Tigger... how will she pay the Mortgage and her Foyer fees?! :rotfl:

That really is asking too much...

Rikki

button16 wrote: »

Just want to say, earning £350 a week would be doing 16 hours a week on £5 an hour which is being generous. My school only recommended doing 7 hours a week part time work. Working so much I would find very difficult on top of my school work. I work about 8 hours a week on a saturday while doing my a levels. Just something to think about, don't want her messing her exams up from having to work too many hours.

I do receive EMA and get £30 a week. Now I'm in the middle of my A2 exams, I'd hate to think I'd have to do 16 hours a week work as well as my revision.

I wouldn't want my son who is now doing his A levels working either. When he finishes school he will have to get a job before he starts Uni.

Good luck with your AS exams.