EMA - small rant

Angel11_2

I earn in the wage bracket where my DS gets £10 a week. We moved because of my job as I work 12 hours a day and was travelling 45 mins each way. Was a long day.

Son still goes to the same school but I now have to pay £350 a term for his bus fare. I'm much worse off, son has a longer day but I still support him with all his needs. I wouldn't even let him get a job at the mo - his day starts at 0715 hrs when his bus arrives and he gets back hom at 1700 hrs.

I think i've made him sacrifice enough by having a much longer day and my obligation is to support him, pocket money, clothing. Yes I am a single parent, so I don't have the luxury of a partner and other family/agencies to assist. But I go short myself, rob peter to pay paul to SUPPORT HIM.

Its called being a parent - you have the choice to get pregnant (accidents happen but they can be dealt with too), you then know you have responsibilities and not just for the first 18 years of their life.

Wish I could earn what the OP has...... If you can't give her the £30 a week, sacrifice something so you can.

zoezoe_3

my mistake

Hapless_2

Well if she is at college then you still get child benefit for her, give that to her instead. As soon as she is classed as not living with you you will lose it anyway.

zoezoe_3

my mistake

zoezoe_3

my mistake

magician64

I think the original poster was looking for some explanation of the EMA system. At no point did she ask to be advised on her parenting or judged.

Why don't people back off a bit

zoezoe_3

my mistake

Hapless_2

from what you are saying, you have a vulnerable rebellious 16 yr old (which most are), who has friends in the area you are living in currently. Either she has to up and leave somewhere she is comfortable, where she has friends and probably a social life, to go to the other side of the country, or tough she's on her own.
What is going to happen to your and OH jobs when you move?
What if your mother cannot look after your little ones?
I mean you did say before, and you said it was not relevant and then edited it out, that,

Originally Posted by zoezoe
My mother is ill and I am very much needed back at home.

So how on earth do you expect her to look after your little ones?

bestpud

Before I start, I have very big concerns about a 16 year old living alone and not even having relatives nearby.

Would it be ok if the OP didn't charge rent and sent her daughter £30 a week? I think not!!! Lets not jump to conclusions about why she doesn't want to move though. Perhaps she has good friends or even a boyfriend? At 16 years old these things can seem never ending and she perhaps fears she won't make new friends if she moves? It may not be purely down to parenting.

A 16 year old should not be allowed to dictate where a family live!

If anything, the OP needs to be a bit harsher with her daughter, as at the moment she is giving in to a childish ultimatum! That isn't meant to be insulting btw - I just feel the daughter is not being made to face up to the possible consequences of her decision.

THis is way off the original topic though!

Re the EMA - I don't think there is any way around the issue of benefits versus work if your daughter is determined to stay put.

milkydrink

zoezoe wrote: »

No I am not saying that. I am clearly supporting her right now. If she wants to leave home, then no I cant possibly support her. The occasional tesco shop and possibly continue with her pocket money but nothing more.

Are you reading this & thinking about it before you post it?
You can buy her shopping now & again and give her pocket money, but you are planning to charge her to rent your Surrey house to her

zoezoe wrote: »

If she wants to leave home then yes she can pay rent. I cant possibly entertain teh idea of paying for two homes !! My parents certainly never paid for my home once I left the family one ??

Sell your Surrey home or rent it to a tenent & take your child with you.