fuming!!! need advice before i act

Pollycat

pelirocco wrote: »

I'm confused by the 'ex takes them to school ' ? Who do they live with?

They live with their Dad, it appears:

Brewstersmum wrote: »

he has them for most of the week days so it was inevitable that when he got a new partner she would be around them a lot.

Brewstersmum wrote: »

as I type my ex is on his 3rd holiday of the year and he has just bought a nice new car courtesy of tax credits for 4 children and the whole range of benefits available to them.

lindsaygalaxy

I think the issue here is the fact that he got a new gf for a few months and moved her in quickly. My suggestion - move closer to their school and drive further to work if this is where you live where you do. Things seems to be ok with the ex so no reason not to live closer and you can spread the weekly childcare better for both of you.

redcard

So you did let them down, and you have an expensive car-based hobby?

Sounds like she touched a nerve.

redcard

marisco wrote: »

My advice would be to not respond to the views this woman has chosen to air so publicly. Keep in mind that when people behave in this way through social media, they inevitably do themselves...

Fact is she did respond, and probably in a way which is far more public than a Facebook post.

OP hardly has the moral high ground, does she?

Rachyk

I'd feel the issue here is that this woman wad slagging the OP off, which means she's probably also made comments to the kids. It's not a nice feeling knowing that someone else is trying to get the upper hand with your own children. My dad married a woman who was always saying horrible things about my mum to me, she should never have crossed that line, all other facts aside the OP has a right to be angry that someone has been saying things about her and filling her kids heads with thoughts that she's a bad mother!

prowla

I would post a thread in an appropriate place saying how you were really pleased that you gave them a good tea instead of junk foor.

No need to refer to anything else in your thread...

keep_calm_and_carry_on_2

redcard wrote: »

OP hardly has the moral high ground, does she?

Its not often I post on here, or feel the need to, but reading through the OPs previous posts, I had to post just to agree with this!! Is the job the main reason the kids are being looked after by their dad (he whom apparently dates a woman of questionable morals, and the OP in turn allows said woman to look after her young daughters :eek: ) , or is it the expensive car hobby that prevents her having her kids?

I only say this because I have brought up my daughters on my own for most of their lives, I work long hours to provide for them, and no job, hobby, man, ANYTHING would come between me and my girls!
I guess we're all different though :cool:

paulineb_2

Going by previous posts, they have shared care. Shes said that they live with their dad during the week because their school is near where he lives.

Its very easy to pick up on someone having a rally car and then make a judgement that thats the reason that the ex has the children more.

Also, does posting on a facebook site saying you dont like your partners ex necessarily mean you have questionable morals?

I may have missed something along the way though. The bottom line is, they would still share care even if she wasnt working, unless there were reasons why the girls shouldnt be with him at all it would be reasonable to assume that they would spend some time with him.

As she has also already said, she provides for them by working and he claims benefits.

If the roles were reversed and she claimed benefits and he worked, I bet you some people would have something to say about her choosing not to work.

Its one of these lose lose situations I think, whatever you do, its never going to be good enough.

She hasnt even said how often she races the car she has.

FBaby

Totally agree with Pauline. It is ok for a man to see his children once a fortnight and enjoy himself in between, but if it is a woman, it is another matter.

It sounds like OP has considered what is best for her children, agreeing on share care and making sure they get to stay in their local school. She is working and supporting them. Good on her.

In terms of new partners coming in, there will always be a time of adjustment and testing each other from far away. There was some of this when my ex first got with his partner. She built a picture of me from what she heard from my ex and what she concluded from issues going on. I did the same. It is only with time that the image we had of each other gradually became a better reflection of the reality. We have only met twice for about 5 minutes, but we have build some overall respect for each other. I don't like her as a person, but I respect the way she is with my children. I suspect it is the same for her.

Thankfully, I don't think she ever really shown what she thought of me to the children and neither did I even at the beginning. What she might have written on a forum might have been another matter, but that was her right to do.

Pollycat

paulineb wrote: »

If the roles were reversed and she claimed benefits and he worked, I bet you some people would have something to say about her choosing not to work.

Never mind about 'some people having something to say' - the OP herself seems to have plenty to say about her ex and his financial situation......

Brewstersmum wrote: »

as I type my ex is on his 3rd holiday of the year and he has just bought a nice new car courtesy of tax credits for 4 children and the whole range of benefits available to them. wouldn't you be resentful??