Parents want to do a "House Swap".

lostinrates

HPoirot wrote: »

I am only the sister of the current son and heir and I have been able to do pretty much as I wish, including moving to this country to marry OH and living in his terraced house, being burnt out from a career at the Bar at the age of 35 and taking some years off, and now being totally financially dependent on OH while I regain my strength. What I would not do though, is to run to my parents with every financial or other worry I encounter. Or for that matter look down on those who appear to be "uneducated", "scummy", "scroungers", and least of all say such things.

Absolutely agree with this, and you might note I took issue either in this or the other thread with Alex over this.


(Interesting you felt burnout from the bar at our age,,..DH is in corporate law (sol) and feeling a bit 'close to burn out' ATM too. . And yeah we regret the losses of independence we have had and enjoyed the freedom to travel for work when we had it. Now he's been moved without me in recent years its harder. . Now my health means I cannot travel we live slightly in fear of him being sent to another office.

lostinrates

fc123 wrote: »

.....absolutely LIR. Seconded.

I have been trying to revert the glass half empty view into the half full on the other thread as it makes life so much easier to bear sometimes.

Alex, you know my view on the swap. Wait 5 years.....like the Bowie song.

As this thread is slightly harsher than the other I do feel that a lot of it is about ego on one or both of your parents part. I mean, a house is just a house at the end of the day but one or both seem to have a yearning to 'create' and leave something 'meaningful' behind. It's then going to become your burden.

Also I don't want to to be rude as a million is a lot but as another poster said, it's not some castle or country estate. I mean, my new neighbours just sold a semi for that amount.
I am guessing your parents have amassed total assets of around what? 4 million, 5? Let them sort out their IHT planning.

FC, you talk about Alex's parents ego, but Alex himself has admitted at times his ego is the real centre of this. That he cannot see why people then worry for his wife's emotions or opinion in this or his son's Concerns me for them but for him too.

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

.....absolutely LIR. Seconded.

I have been trying to revert the glass half empty view into the half full on the other thread as it makes life so much easier to bear sometimes.

Alex, you know my view on the swap. Wait 5 years.....like the Bowie song.

Noted.

fc123 wrote: »

As this thread is slightly harsher than the other I do feel that a lot of it is about ego on one or both of your parents part. I mean, a house is just a house at the end of the day but one or both seem to have a yearning to 'create' and leave something 'meaningful' behind. It's then going to become your burden.

Also I don't want to to be rude as a million is a lot but as another poster said, it's not some castle or country estate. I mean, my new neighbours just sold a semi for that amount.
I am guessing your parents have amassed total assets of around what? 4 million, 5? Let them sort out their IHT planning.

You would be absolutely right re. my parents, they do want to leave something meaningful behind. OK, father wishes to create some kind of dynasty.

Only in London! However, it is no castle I agree with you there. As for my parents assets; less than that, property is not worth an awful lot around here.

AlexLK

lostinrates: Thank you for all your constructive posts. Not sure how to reply to many of them.

Hermia

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Alex - as my mum would say you have a plaster for every sore.

I am pinching that expression from your mum - I hope she doesn't mind!

fc123

AlexLK wrote: »

Noted.



You would be absolutely right re. my parents, they do want to leave something meaningful behind. OK, father wishes to create some kind of dynasty.

Only in London! However, it is no castle I agree with you there. As for my parents assets; less than that, property is not worth an awful lot around here.

Fair enough but isn't that his issue?

Clogs to clogs in 3 generations is extremely common so if this does all go through as your parents plan, then your grandson could lose the lot in a casino when he gets it all. Just saying...hypothetically..;)

lostinrates

AlexLK wrote: »

lostinrates: Thank you for all your constructive posts. Not sure how to reply to many of them.

Is that because you cannot interpret them? :rotfl:


Why cannot you reply to many of them? I'm interested in that rather than the replies to any of the points made. Most of them are rhetorical really, for YOUR use and benefit.

Ultimately that's what these threads are for, and why I said btw, to
Walk away if its being more destructive than constructive.

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

Fair enough but isn't that his issue?

Clogs to clogs in 3 generations is extremely common so if this does all go through as your parents plan, then your grandson could lose the lot in a casino when he gets it all. Just saying...hypothetically..;)

Yes, that is his issue. However, I feel a strong sense of duty to hold onto his dream. OK, OK, I rather like the idea too.

I hope that is not the case, mind it's got to not be lost through my stupidity first. :eek::rotfl:

lostinrates

Hermia wrote: »

I am pinching that expression from your mum - I hope she doesn't mind!

Is it not fabulous. I hope I can remember it. I'm going to try and use it quickly in order to lock it in to the sieve-brain. Its a superb phrase!

AlexLK

lostinrates wrote: »

Is that because you cannot interpret them? :rotfl:


Why cannot you reply to many of them? I'm interested in that rather than the replies to any of the points made. Most of them are rhetorical really, for YOUR use and benefit.

Ultimately that's what these threads are for, and why I said btw, to
Walk away if its being more destructive than constructive.

:rotfl:

I cannot reply because it would mean asking myself questions that I have long been trying to avoid.