Problem at work, need some quick advice....

goonarmy

ValHaller wrote: »

While I mostly agree with your analysis that OP has framed his views based on pecking order, it is completely irrelevant to whether or not unwelcome touching is acceptable. Your argument

• OP would accept being touched by the MD
• Therefore OP should accept being touched by anyone in the work place

is false. Essentially you are arguing that if OP accepts touching from anyone he must accept it from everyone. It does not work like that
Your argument (if accepted) essentially undermines most defence against physical contact. Suppose a girl works in the same company as her father and he touches her. Your argument makes it open day for anyone to touch her.

I can see your fingers poised to write "Ah, but this is different". Well, on this issue, to avoid any question of "this is different", the rule has to be that there is no touching if the person to be touched does not want it. Even if you don't like the reason for not being touched.

You sound sanctimonious. And no you cant see anything. The issue is not inapproiapiate touching-which is not acceptable. The issue is the reasoning behind acceptability on the ops part.

Southend1

goonarmy wrote: »

You sound sanctimonious. And no you cant see anything. The issue is not inapproiapiate touching-which is not acceptable. The issue is the reasoning behind acceptability on the ops part.

That may be your issue, but it's not what the OP asked advice on! It's been pointed out that his attitude isn't great, fair enough. But the actual point of this thread is about how OP can stop someone from behaving in a way he finds unacceptable.

Southend1

Poppie68 wrote: »

When did it become so wrong for someone to give a pat on the back,knee or arm to a work colleague? Is this country becoming a nation of over sensitive people?

It's not wrong for someone to touch someone in that way if the behaviour is welcome. If it is unwelcome by the recipient then it is wrong. This has always been the case. All OP needs to do is ask his colleague to stop touching him. If you are happy for your colleagues to touch you then by all means go ahead and tell them that.

goonarmy

Southend1 wrote: »

That may be your issue, but it's not what the OP asked advice on! It's been pointed out that his attitude isn't great, fair enough. But the actual point of this thread is about how OP can stop someone from behaving in a way he finds unacceptable.

You certainly have missed the point. Inapprooiate touching is not the onky issue raised by the op. Moving of stuff on a workspace also concerns him. This i find funny as i have visions of "The office" -"he's put my stapler in jelly again!" The real issue is a dominace one, we are talking borederline scent making here.

Southend1

goonarmy wrote: »

You certainly have missed the point. Inapprooiate touching is not the onky issue raised by the op. Moving of stuff on a workspace also concerns him. This i find funny as i have visions of "The office" -"he's put my stapler in jelly again!" The real issue is a dominace one, we are talking borederline scent making here.

I think I actually said OP wants to stop someone from behaving in a way he finds unacceptable. This I meant to include the touching and the rearranging and any other unacceptable behaviour. The advice for each is the same... OP needs to tell the colleague the behaviour is unwelcome and ask him to stop.

You may find someone rearranging your things is funny, that's fine. OP doesn't so it isn't. But unless OP asks for the behaviour to stop then his colleague may not know it's an issue.

ValHaller

goonarmy wrote: »

The issue is not inapproiapiate touching-which is not acceptable. The issue is the reasoning behind acceptability on the ops part.

That's what you needed to say.

What you should be careful about is using OP's reasoning to devalue his concerns about being touched at work. OPs; rights not to be touched transcend our opinions on his reasoning.

yvonne13_2

jacques_chirac wrote: »

Seems he has had a tendency for workplace dramatics for years!

Gosh was it really necessary to drag up old threads?

jacques_chirac

yvonne13 wrote: »

Gosh was it really necessary to drag up old threads?

When it gives context to an issue, as it does here, it can be helpful.

And there was no 'dragging' to be done, it took seconds to scan the old threads.

yvonne13_2

jacques_chirac wrote: »

When it gives context to an issue, as it does here, it can be helpful.

And there was no 'dragging' to be done, it took seconds to scan the old threads.

I don't get it....the OP asked a question about being touched and those threads had nothing to do with him being touched, unless I missed it.

Anyway I'll wait for the OP to come back to confirm your findings.

Have a good evening.

jacques_chirac

yvonne13 wrote: »

I don't get it....the OP asked a question about being touched and those threads had nothing to do with him being touched, unless I missed it.

Anyway I'll wait for the OP to come back to confirm your findings.

Have a good evening.

Yes, you have clearly don't get it.

Maybe you should read beyond the first post? The thread developed considerably past there.