Problem at work, need some quick advice....

yvonne13_2

jacques_chirac wrote: »

Yes, you have clearly don't get it.

Maybe you should read beyond the first post? The thread developed considerably past there.

Actually I do get it. Your trying to let everyone now what type of person he is which is already clear via his posts.

The point you missed is that he asked a certain question and the answer has been covered.

Poppie68

Southend1 wrote: »

It's not wrong for someone to touch someone in that way if the behaviour is welcome. If it is unwelcome by the recipient then it is wrong. This has always been the case. All OP needs to do is ask his colleague to stop touching him. If you are happy for your colleagues to touch you then by all means go ahead and tell them that.

Is it not wrong for someone to object to a lesser mortal patting their back but it's perfectly acceptable for someone who has earned millions and built up a business...sounds like discrimination to me.
I understand people having a choice but in this instance it seems the op just does'nt like the patting because he feels the older guy is beneath him, now that is wrong.

Southend1

Poppie68 wrote: »

Is it not wrong for someone to object to a lesser mortal patting their back but it's perfectly acceptable for someone who has earned millions and built up a business...sounds like discrimination to me.
I understand people having a choice but in this instance it seems the op just does'nt like the patting because he feels the older guy is beneath him, now that is wrong.

The issue OP seems to have with "inferiors" is completely separate.

It is ALWAYS unacceptable in the workplace for someone to touch you if you don't want to be touched by that person, no matter what your reason is.

ILW

Southend1 wrote: »

The issue OP seems to have with "inferiors" is completely separate.

It is ALWAYS unacceptable in the workplace for someone to touch you if you don't want to be touched by that person, no matter what your reason is.

Would it be acceptable if you were only prepared to be touched by white people?

Southend1

ILW wrote: »

Would it be acceptable if you were only prepared to be touched by white people?

It would be a personal choice. It may not be a choice made for the right reasons but just because someone wanted to be touched only by white people would not make it acceptable to subject that person to unwanted touching from others.

Poppie68

Southend1 wrote: »

The issue OP seems to have with "inferiors" is completely separate.

It is ALWAYS unacceptable in the workplace for someone to touch you if you don't want to be touched by that person, no matter what your reason is.

We all agree about inappropriate touching but i disagree about the issue with inferiors being seperate with this op as this seems to be a issue of being touched by someone because he feels he is 'inferior' but not being touched by someone who is worth millions and owns a business.

And to be honest at the moment only the op knows this is in appropriate as he has'nt spoken to his colleague who is unaware that his patting of a back is causing such anger and discomfort.

I'm going to be very honest and for the life of me can't understand why anyone would think a pat on the back in a work place is seen as inappropriate touching, it's not insulting, it's not assault it's just a bit of comaraderie and i think anyone who would take great offence really needs to maybe looking into self employment and working from home and alone.

Southend1

Poppie68 wrote: »

We all agree about inappropriate touching but i disagree about the issue with inferiors being seperate with this op as this seems to be a issue of being touched by someone because he feels he is 'inferior' but not being touched by someone who is worth millions and owns a business.

And to be honest at the moment only the op knows this is in appropriate as he has'nt spoken to his colleague who is unaware that his patting of a back is causing such anger and discomfort.

I'm going to be very honest and for the life of me can't understand why anyone would think a pat on the back in a work place is seen as inappropriate touching, it's not insulting, it's not assault it's just a bit of comaraderie and i think anyone who would take great offence really needs to maybe looking into self employment and working from home and alone.

So do you think the "cure" OP needs is to be subjected to lots of back patting from those he considers inferior?

It doesn't matter whether you think OP is being touched inappropriately or it's just cameraderie. All that matters is he feels it is inappropriate therefore should ask for it to stop.

Otherwise someone could argue that a bit of bum pinching is just harmless fun. Or a bit of breast fondling. Or how about non consensual sex?

ValHaller

ILW wrote: »

Would it be acceptable if you were only prepared to be touched by white people?

If it is angels you are talking about, this would substantially reduce the number which could dance together on the head of a pin

Poppie68

Southend1 wrote: »

So do you think the "cure" OP needs is to be subjected to lots of back patting from those he considers inferior?
Were did i say or infer this?

It doesn't matter whether you think OP is being touched inappropriately or it's just cameraderie. All that matters is he feels it is inappropriate therefore should ask for it to stop.
I have already said a couple of times he needs to speak to the colleague and let him know he is uncomfortable with the patting.
Otherwise someone could argue that a bit of bum pinching is just harmless fun. Or a bit of breast fondling. Or how about non consensual sex?

Seriously what are you going on about?


I have said several times now that can be seen as inappropriate but you seem intent on arguing. I just think that the op does'nt have an issue with inappropriate patting on the back unless it is done by someone he deems inferior and to me this seems like discrimination to me and not a problem with touching. You keep bringing other factors into it when other posters are discussing this op inparticular and his issue.

Southend1

Poppie68 wrote: »

Seriously what are you going on about?


I have said several times now that can be seen as inappropriate but you seem intent on arguing. I just think that the op does'nt have an issue with inappropriate patting on the back unless it is done by someone he deems inferior and to me this seems like discrimination to me and not a problem with touching. You keep bringing other factors into it when other posters are discussing this op inparticular and his issue.

:rotfl: I'm not the one bringing other factors into it!

It may be discrimination and we both seem to agree that's not the best attitude to have but it's not illegal discrimination and it's not what the OP asked about.

As soon as you legitimise a particular kind of unwanted touching you basically legitimise rape and serious sexual harassment. So don't even go there.