"There is no point in getting married if you're not having kids"

Air_Cooled_75

Tough, we got married in a registery office, no religion at all, and we are 100% legally married, no religion in this country can dispute that!

We were married 14 years before we had our son (who was not planned).

The mood I'm In tonight, **** anyone who disagrees!

Any

Air_Cooled_75 wrote: »

Tough, we got married in a registery office, no religion at all, and we are 100% legally married, no religion in this country can dispute that!

We were married 14 years before we had our son (who was not planned).

The mood I'm In tonight, **** anyone who disagrees!

+1

To the OP-I've never had that myself, but that is because I am child bearing age. I've heard it however said to people of not child bearing age.
However I've heard so much of "when are you having children? Oh you don't want any, why??? Oh you will change your mind...." and the typical "how can you deny your husband a child??" (He already has one from first marriage btw). Oh and "isn't it a bit selfish not to have children?" !!!!!!!!! How is that selfish???????
Grrrrrrrr......

MrSmartprice

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

My husband and I were married for nearly ten years before having our son. We waited this long from choice and for eight years didn't want children at all.

We got married because we loved each other and wanted to make a legal commitment to each other, not because we wanted children.

(For the benefit of Mr Smartprice, we had a civil wedding because neither of us were believers at the time. This to us was the date we got married. The date of our church blessing, thirteen years later, when we were both believing Christians, is not the date we celebrate as our Wedding Anniversary).

I do agree about the reasons for marriage. They are whatever you want them to be. I detest pressure from relatives to persuade people to have children, it is entirely a personal issue.

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Mr Smartprice is actually right here. There are a couple of things you have to say by law (declaring that you are free to marry and assenting that you are willing to marry), and the rest, as he says, is 'padding'.

At last some common sense from a religious person, so thanks for that. Everything I have posted is simply fact.

The only issue is where you say you had a 'civil' marriage. I hate that term, as there is no other sort, they are all governed by civil law. (I have known a couple of criminal marriages though!;)) Marriages can be religious or non-religious, but have the same validity, which is the point I make, and you understand.

Gloomendoom wrote: »

We could go on all night like this. In law there are no grades of marriage, however, in the wider community, there most definitely is. Some sections of the community believe that, without the religious ceremony, there is no valid marriage. For example, in the religious and cultural context, my sister-in-law was married for nearly a year before she went through the legal process at a registry office. She, and everybody else, celebrate the date of the religious ceremony as her wedding anniversary.

Ha ha! Just how few people do you think believe in God?

No, you are wrong. There is only one grade of marriage. If you choose to have add-ons it makes no difference. I was married in a register office, presumably you did the deed in a church. Do you think that makes you any more married than me? Seriously?

Whatever any religious factors may think, you are married on the date you conduct the official ceremony, not on some other date when you went through some optional stuff. For legal purposes, that is the case, pure and simple. Your sister-in-law is simply incorrect, although they can of course celebrate whatever they like. What you 'believe' is actually irrelevant here.

As for the few, I was referring to the people posting on this thread. But it is certainly the case that the majority of people in the UK have no belief in religion, even those who nominally say they are 'CofE' because that's what they were born into. And I've known quite a few atheists marry in churches because it's the 'done thing'.

Gloomendoom

MrSmartprice wrote: »

No, you are wrong. There is only one grade of marriage. If you choose to have add-ons it makes no difference. I was married in a register office, presumably you did the deed in a church. Do you think that makes you any more married than me?

Seriously?

No, of course not, but without the religious element to my own marriage, I would consider myself less married than you.
.
.
.

MrSmartprice

Gloomendoom wrote: »

No, of course not, but but without the religious element to my own marriage, I would consider myself less married than you.

If you are less married than me, you must be single then. This just gets dafter!:rotfl:

You cannot be a bit married, or less married than someone else. It is clear cut one way or the other. Rather like the fact that you cannot be just a bit pregnant!;)

Gloomendoom

MrSmartprice wrote: »

If you are less married than me, you must be single then. This just gets dafter!:rotfl:

You cannot be a bit married, or less married than someone else. It is clear cut one way or the other. Rather like the fact that you cannot be just a bit pregnant!;)

Or a bit of a bigot.

MrSmartprice

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Or a bit of a bigot.

Well, I didn't like to call you any names, but if the cap fits....:D

I do find a lot of religious people like that, I'm afraid. It's something to do with the desire to tell people how to live their lives. Just try to be a bit more tolerant.:cool:

balletshoes

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

My husband and I were married for nearly ten years before having our son. We waited this long from choice and for eight years didn't want children at all.

We got married because we loved each other and wanted to make a legal commitment to each other, not because we wanted children.

(For the benefit of Mr Smartprice, we had a civil wedding because neither of us were believers at the time. This to us was the date we got married. The date of our church blessing, thirteen years later, when we were both believing Christians, is not the date we celebrate as our Wedding Anniversary).

thank you, seven-day-weekend, for making sense in this thread .
I didn't get married in this country, and there was not even a fleeting thought for either of us that getting married had anything to do with religion.

Gloomendoom

MrSmartprice wrote: »

Well, I didn't like to call you any names, but if the cap fits....:D

I do find a lot of religious people like that, I'm afraid. It's something to do with the desire to tell people how to live their lives. Just try to be a bit more tolerant.:cool:

If there was any more irony in that post, it would rust.

System

Theres only one reason to get married and that's because you want to. Its got nothing to do with kids or other people or anything.

Having said that, I wouldn't have had kids personally unless I was married. I was bought up that way.

I'm older and wiser now.